The Calling of My Soul: True Confessions of a Blue Ray-Empath/Hsp
332
The Calling of My Soul: True Confessions of a Blue Ray-Empath/Hsp
332eBook
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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781982222932 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Balboa Press |
| Publication date: | 03/13/2019 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 332 |
| File size: | 407 KB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Me and "Them"
I WAS BORN a love child in the 1970's. The daughter of a divorced single mother of 2 boys; I came into this world exactly 1 month sooner than anticipated. I do believe it was no accident that my birth date was 5/5/75 and I weighed 5lbs. 5oz. at 5:05pm.
In fact, now that I am an adult, I am 5' 5" tall! My 2 children were born on days that break down to 5 and speaking of children, although I only gave birth to 2, I ended up with 5 children who I call mine.
I am someone who has always payed attention to the things that most would look past; but in this instance you can try to look past it, but you cannot deny that there are a whole lot of 5's in my existence and numerology.
5 is the number of change and transformation...... I am certain without a shadow of a doubt that I came here to help create positive change on this planet!
As a baby, in my crib at my mother's apartment; I would see what I realize now were spirits, angels, and universal energy dance around in the room. I can picture it so clearly still to this day; I can still clearly feel that unexplainable feeling that would fill my whole being up when I would see and feel them come.
The feeling I would feel when they were around me still remains today as a way for me to recognize when divine presence is around me.
It is a solid feeling and a complete knowing that you are loved beyond the reaches of the Human mind and that you are cherished above and beyond the realms of what exists here in the physical world.
To this day, I can still recall that as a baby I just seemed to come alive with their presence, I would just light up when I would see and feel "them".
They would come in all colors of the rainbow and seemed transparent at times; however, I do also remember times when I would see them in solid form in shapes like circles, oblong circles, star-like shapes, and even from time to time I would see them in what seemed to be like a Humanoid form.
I know most people talk about seeing angels and they talk about the wings they see the angels come with.
Although I do not completely disagree with this, because I know and have personally witnessed the wings that they speak of.
However, my physical eyes perceived it more like a sideways figure eight which would move and shift and transform as they moved around the room.
I very distinctly remember one of "them" in particular that I would look forward to seeing every time it would get dark. This one was very bright yellow and would have what appeared to be a ring of orange around the outside.
When that one would show up, I would feel as though I was supposed to close my eyes and rest. I t was kind of like an every day alarm clock that would tell my little human being when I needed to replenish and restore.
No matter what, though, I would see them daily. I would lay there giggling in my crib as sometimes if they got close enough to me, I could feel what I can now explain as a sort of wind that would gently blow at my face and tickle my cheeks. It would sometimes tickle my entire body and I can still feel it as I sit here writing this in this very moment.
As I got a bit older; around 2, as I started to learn how to talk and walk, I would talk about "Them".
Although no one else seemed to understand what I was saying, when someone would ask me who I was talking about, I would simply say "Them".
If someone would ask me who I was talking about, I would say "Them".
To me, they were Them". It was my way of describing all of them!
At 3 years old, my bed was surrounded by "Them" every night. Back then I had a strong knowing that they were my friends and I felt very safe with them by my side.
I know it has been said that we come into this world with spirit guides and angels that watch over us and keep us safe; I can honestly say that since the moment I came here to this planet, I have known that I was highly guarded and truly protected.
I can honestly say that I have very fond memories of the love and care I felt around my bed when the lights would go out at night. I now know for certain that "Them" were my heavenly helpers that there were always many of them surrounding me when I was a baby and young toddler.
Every night when my Mother would tuck me in and then leave the room it was like fireworks watching lights dance around the room. I would giggle and feel completely jolly as they would light up my room and seem to light up my whole being with their presence.
Somehow even though I was that young, I still can picture all of them circling around my bed and as long as they were around, I would drift off into a deep sleep and never felt scared at all.
Besides what I have already shared with you, I guess the best way I can describe in a bit more detail what I saw and felt was kind of what you see when you watch the Tinker Bell movies and you see the small dots of light which then spread out into bigger circles of light and then beside them are what appear to be pretty large orbs of light.
I would know as soon as I saw a light blinking or the moment, I would see the room seem to illuminate with the undying presence of peace, love, Heaven on Earth; that I was supposed to just close my eyes and rest. I still do not know how I knew ... I just did.
That was what I was lucky enough to have around me at all times at night in the dark as a toddler.
Sometimes they were colored and then other times just white; but none the less I knew as soon as they arrived each night that it was time for me to drift off to sleep.
Sometimes I would see "them" in public or in the car when I went out with my family back then. I was never fearful of them at all; I always felt so much comfort and love and peace when they were around me.
There was one specific night when I saw "Them" in what seemed to be angelic form.
My brothers and I were spending the night at my Grandma and Grandpa's house on my Mother's side; as we often did. For some reason I was terrified of my Grandma's bedroom and I was placed in her bed to go to sleep and she shut the door after tucking me in.
Her bed felt so cold and lonely to a little girl who was used to sleeping amongst friends and having her Mommy there and I cried for my Grandma to come get me out of there.
She came in and was frustrated with me and sternly told me to "go to sleep!"
She walked back out of the room for the 2nd time and I fussed and cried loudly again because I did not feel safe in the room.
I waited for my Grandma to come in one more time and although I knew she would be mad; at the time it seemed better than laying in that big scary bed in the dark all alone.
As I waited a few more minutes and watched for the door to open and let in a little bit of light; I was instead embraced by the hugs and kisses and warm inviting light swirls on the ceiling.
At first, I watched as one was blinking and then another came in; followed by a few more and before I knew it the whole room was engulfed with "Them" and for the first time (that I can remember) I watched an angel appear in form from out of nowhere.
I saw the bright shining light that radiated throughout all of its being and it appeared to have shooting lights and energy bouncing out from the center.
This angel was pink and orange and as tall as the room; at the time I had no clue what it was, but all I knew was that it was a good thing and somehow, I knew it had come to my rescue.
I laid there as I could feel it sending some sort of essence towards me and as soon as it hit my physical body, I felt immediately calm and safe. I know this may seem silly to some, but it felt a lot like my own mother's energy; it reminded me of my mommy and then suddenly I didn't miss her anymore in that moment.
I still to this day cannot explain the true glory and honor that probably happened in that room in a small town in Wisconsin that evening in 1978.
Looking back now, it was one night where I sure wish I would have been old enough to understand and share my experience; but somehow back then I just knew to keep it to myself.
I will never forget the way it made me feel when the radiance seemed to send waves of peace right through my entire little being.
I would lay my weary little head down and listening to the sounds the angel made until I fell asleep.
I could never perfectly explain the sound, other than it was almost like someone was singing in a high-pitched tone. Although it was high pitched, it was comforting and as if it was singing me a lullaby.
Although not a word was spoken there was a Universal language that was not only heard but felt throughout the whole room that evening that still to this day I have never stopped seeing and feeling in my mind.
Just the overwhelming feeling of being cradled in the hands of "God" and being loved so much that you have no other choice other than to just become still and silent. That was the very best rock-a- bye I have ever experienced.
CHAPTER 2My Security Blanket
SHORTLY AFTER THAT, my Mother met "Him"; the man who would take on the responsibility of raising me the rest of my life; Bill.
For the sake of this book, going forward I will refer to "Bill" as my dad, because he is the only one, I would end up truly knowing in that role.
For the sake of you understanding "Him" let me just say that at that age I called my dad "Him".
When my Mother would ask me questions or be speaking about Bill, I would not say Bill or dad at that age; just "him".
When he would try to bond with me, I would cry to my mother and say, "Him is looking out me!"
I never liked him to look at me apparently and if I would catch him, I would throw myself into a hysterical tantrum and say, "stop looking out me!"
My Mother to this day lovingly recalls the amazing love that Bill had for me back then. She says that she always felt sorry for him because he would try so hard to get me to like him and I was just not having it.
I am sure it most likely came from spending the first 3 years of my life with just my Mom and my 2 older brothers.
It wasn't that I didn't want a dad; but back then I had no clue there was such a thing and so I highly preferred not having one "looking out me"!
It was a matter of time before we moved into his farm house with him and I stopped seeing "them" (my magical angelic friends) after that: at least for a while.
After we were all settled in and living life on the Farm with our new dad, my brother accidentally burned our house down; with me in it. You see my mother had put my brother and I down for naps that day; my brother was 18 months older than me, so he would have been around 4 and I was 3.
After us two kids fell asleep, my mother decided to sneak in a little cat nap herself and so she laid down in her bedroom and fell asleep. My brother must have awoken before anyone else and he found my mother's cigarette lighter laying in the living room on the table.
Back then people smoked cigarette's everywhere; in the grocery stores, in the hospitals, and in the house! So, it wasn't any sort of unusual activity for her to leave her pack of cigarettes and lighter lay on the coffee table in the living room when we went to bed.
Anyway, my brother picked up the lighter and from what I was told flicked it a few times and the curtains in the living room became engulfed in flames.
Back then it was common to have the long heavy burlap curtains that would drape down all the way to the floor. Although they were quite popular back then, little did anyone realize how very dangerous they were in terms of being a fire hazard. So as the living room went up in flames, my mother awoke and called for help.
As the flames started to move throughout the first level of the house, I was sound asleep, directly above the room that was burning fast and furious; as I woke up to people screaming and a man throwing me over his shoulder like you see in the movies; I saw flashing lights all around him and myself.
There should have been no reason on God's green Earth that my savior that day and myself should have gotten out of that fire alive. As I sit here thinking about what I saw, it makes my skin crawl. I watched as he carried me down the steep steps of the farmhouse and pushed his way past the flames that had absolutely taken over the hallway and the rooms on the first level. I could hardly breathe, and it felt like my lungs were getting smaller and smaller with every gasp and every scream my little being would let out. I watched as the flames were completely surrounding him and I and looking back, it was truly a miracle that we got out. I saw with my own eyes how when the flames would try to take over and trap us suddenly there was a shower of golden light that would seem to shield us from being burned alive.
In those horrific and terrifying moments I was so happy that they showed up. Oh, how I had missed them. Where had they been?
But in those moments while my hero, who was the next-door neighbor who had seen the house in flames and ran down the street to help. A true and real good Samaritan who saved my life that day more than he will ever realize.
I screamed, "My silkie!!"; which was my favorite blanket with silk around the edges (AKA my security blanket) that I absolutely had to have in order to sleep for comfort at that age.
I watched as he set me down safely outside and ran back into the house to rescue my silkie. I still do not know how he did it other than the knowing that he did not act alone that day. He was very much assisted by higher forces of the Universe. I watched as he handed me my favorite blanket and turned around and went in the house one more time to rescue a cat we had at the time. I heard my brother screaming "please, help our cat! She is in there!". And just like in the movies where you see someone get out just in time before the building collapses; that is exactly what I saw that day. Perfect timing! Everyone was out and safe and happy.
I do not remember a whole lot after that; other then I still recall the feeling I had inside when I knew that we were all safe. The next thing I knew, we were standing outside watching the firemen spraying water everywhere and while they did, I saw "Them" all around me, all around the house, all around my Mother and my big brother.
I realize just now as I type this that ... on that day going through that extreme situation was the day when I first started feeling like the bottom was going to fall out from underneath me.... that was the day when trauma started to become the way of my life.
It would last for many years going forward. That was the first time in this lifetime that I had my security (and my security blanket) taken away from me unexpectedly; it was the first of many traumatic experiences, which would lead me to a life of trying to find Heaven again amongst all that hell on Earth for the first 30 some years of my life.
So as a metaphor I am going to say this; even though I had my home and everything I owned and knew taken from me in an instant. ... I still got to keep my "Security blanket". I see it now, but then ... not so much. I was always blessed and watched over and protected. Life is like that for everyone if we just look at the bigger picture!
After the fire, my family was lucky enough to have a home to temporarily move into; because my dad's family had a family member that had passed away and his home was empty and for sale at the time. (Imagine that ... Divine Timing).
CHAPTER 3Friend or Foe
ONCE WE MOVED into that temporary home for a while, I started to see my angelic friends (AKA Them) around my bed at night again. My room would light up with joy and love when the lights went out. I was absolutely surrounded. ... And this is the first time I have ever spoke of this!
One night, after I was tucked in, I was encircled with the flashing lights and angelic friends and fell asleep. I was awakened by a noise I couldn't feel good about. I looked over the side of my bed and there was a pig in my bedroom. I screamed for my mom, as the pig starred at me. I do not think I had ever been so scared in my entire life at that point.
My mother came in and carried me to her bedroom ... I pleaded with her to "Get the pig out of here!"; but she simply told me I was imagining it and that there was not a pig in the house. ...
Although she couldn't see it, I know for sure I did not imagine that! I know what I saw, I will never forget it!
As she carried me down the hallway towards her bedroom; I watched behind her as it followed us. I screamed and cried and begged my mom to hurry up and run so it didn't bite her. She continued to tell me it was just a dream and that we were ok; there was no pig in the house.
As we reached the doorway of her bedroom it looked up at me and I saw its eyes shine bright red and then fade to black and then suddenly it just dissipated as we entered my parent's room.
My Mother laid me in the bed where my dad lay sleeping. At that point I knew that as long as I was not laying on the outside of the bed, I would be safe for the night tucked away between my mom and dad and therefore no harm could come to me.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "The Calling of My Soul"
by .
Copyright © 2019 The Wholeistic Healer.
Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Preface, xi,
Introduction, xvii,
Section 1 My Magical Childhood 0-10,
Chapter 1 Me and "Them", 1,
Chapter 2 My Security Blanket, 7,
Chapter 3 Friend or Foe, 11,
Chapter 4 Making Medicine and Maggots, 13,
Chapter 5 The Beautiful Stranger, 15,
Chapter 6 The Man with the White Beard, 19,
Chapter 7 An Unknown Soldier, 23,
Section 2 The Dramas and Traumas that a Light Worker Faces (Age 11-20),
Chapter 8 Whose dad is it anyways, 31,
Chapter 9 What was that?, 35,
Chapter 10 I heard it through the grapevine, 43,
Chapter 11 The bridge over troubled waters, 49,
Chapter 12 The Confirmation, 55,
Chapter 13 Bad Girls Club, 65,
Chapter 14 The Darkness continues, 71,
Chapter 15 A second chance at love, 73,
Chapter 16 Is it just my imagination?, 79,
Chapter 17 The Journey, 83,
Chapter 18 White Buffalo, 89,
Chapter 19 The Magna Carta, 95,
Chapter 20 Life's Little Surprises, 101,
Chapter 21 Secrets of an upstairs apt, 107,
Chapter 22 My Miracle Baby, 111,
Chapter 23 The Last Rites, 117,
Section 3 How can I be loved if I do not love myself? (Age 21-30),
Chapter 24 The Struggle was real, 125,
Chapter 25 Bleeding Love, 131,
Chapter 26 The Sinking Ship, 139,
Chapter 27 Dancing with the Devil, 143,
Chapter 28 My deadly mistake, 149,
Chapter 29 Playing with Fire, 161,
Chapter 30 Desperado come to your senses, 167,
Chapter 31 My Ultimate Rock Bottom, 173,
Chapter 32 Hey Soul Sister, 183,
Section 4 Waking up from the Illusion (Age 31-40),
Chapter 33 Turning the page, 193,
Chapter 34 Another devastating blow, 199,
Chapter 35 New Family Unit, 205,
Chapter 36 Health Scares, 211,
Chapter 37 A New Level of Existence, 215,
Section 5 The Ultimate Becoming of The Wholeistic Healer (Age 31 and 43),
Chapter 38 The Awakening, 223,
Chapter 39 The Medium, 235,
Chapter 40 The Blue Butterfly, 241,
Chapter 41 Preparing for Dark Night of the Soul, 245,
Chapter 42 The Twin Flame, 251,
Chapter 43 The Re-Awakening, 261,
Chapter 44 The Level Up, 267,
Chapter 45 The Crossroad, 271,
Chapter 46 The final strikes, 277,
Chapter 47 The Darkest Night of the Soul, 281,
Chapter 48 Finally Healing the Healer, 287,
Epilogue (in conclusion), 291,
Guidance from my Journey to yours, 305,
Becoming A Butterfly, 307,
About the Author, 309,