Read an Excerpt

The Job Shopper

Balboa Press

Recognizing and Avoiding Negative People.

This chapter has been an area of this manuscript that I really had to motivate myself to write. I do not like to think about these individuals, let alone write about them. However, these people are in our lives every day and most everyone in today's times probably has been one of these types. Thank you for waking up if you made the change or already had it in you.

For several days, my desire and motivation for editing this chapter was low. The thing, as it seems to me, is that the more you pay attention to these people the more you become like them. To avoid people that can cause you moral harm you must be aware of whom they are. No one can read minds but you can get pretty close. Some behavior patterns are hard wired to some emotions. So you can pretty much assure yourself that if someone displays a series of negative emotions, you need to eliminate that person from your life immediately. The longer they stay a part of your life the more damage they will do to your moral fiber or worse. I listed some to get you started. I am sure I missed some, but hey, you have to start somewhere.

Ever been in a conversation and someone just starts to talk over you and interrupt you every chance they get? They seem to get upset the more you try to finish your conversation. People like this don't care what you are thinking, they don't want others to know or hear what you want to say, they may be attempting to outshine you, or some combination of or possibly all of the above.

They don't care what you have to offer, unless they want to steal something from you and take the credit later. The bottom line is they have absolutely no respect for you. Now that you are aware that these people exist and what they are capable of, you must start noticing behavior, body language and actions.

For example; the face never lies, so try this. Start smiling at everyone and notice what happens. Show the person with your smile that you only feel positive things about them. That person is compelled to smile back, if they have no negative feelings for you. If they do feel negative feelings for you, the smile will be forced or they will force themselves to not smile. Also watch them and pay close attention to their eyes. If the eye muscles move upward then it is a positive smile, if the eyes don't this person is possibly deceiving you and possesses a negative disposition about you. This is the quickest way to gauge if a person feels positive or negative emotions for you. Also, once you become good at reading facial expressions you can almost read a person's mind. Continue this ritual to see if there are changes in the person and to constantly monitor how you stand with them. Also keep in mind smiling a lot, keeps you healthy, helps you stay positive and causes people to have positive emotions for you. Also, if you are a rich minority athlete, or celebrity, you seem to earn a lot more income.

Try to always recognize people that tend to speak negatively about other people. The ones that are constantly criticizing for no productive reason. In hip hop we called them the Haters. Keep in mind cracking or jabbing does not make a person a hater unless done with a negative mindset. Some people will target a person because of jealousy and envy and try to make them look bad or possibly embarrass them. It's like the old saying, "They want to dim or even put your light out so theirs can shine brighter".

People that are condescending are usually very insecure and need to be negative or even sadistic to feel relevant. Others tend to lie for negative reasons and are just evil. Inconsiderate, disrespectful and selfish individuals don't consider how one feels and attempt to find a 'mark' or victim and use them. Some people will tell you that, "you can't", or "you won't". I had an aquaintance like this. I don't talk to her anymore. As a matter of fact, I don't deal with most of my relative's or past friends anymore and I owe that to the character of Willie Lynch who in my opinion, if he really existed, would be the King of Haters. It was said that in a speech he gave, that if the slave owners listened to him and did like he instructed, the descendants of NON would perpetually hate each other for 400 years. The Slave owners listened. ... and it worked.

Some people love to see other people that try to succeed, fail and will always volunteer bad advice to hurt someone's efforts. People that use a fake warm smile regularly can never be trusted under any circumstances. I tend to try to not trust anyone, but some people you have to trust at times. Make sure you pick them properly. Don't use your heart, use the concepts in this book. Some people appear to be all that you want in a friend, companion or business acquaintance. They seem to have your back like they can sense your struggle. They seem to know just when to come to your rescue. With anyone, one must pay close attention to what they say and do to determine what is false about them and what is real. I appreciate being a fly on the wall and listening to people speak about me when they don't know I am there. There is no better way of determining if a person is two-faced or what type of agenda they have. Some of these people may display multiple emotions toward you, in a short span of time, when there has been little or no change in your personality. These people are unstable and should be avoided, until they show some emotional stability.

At times in life we do things that we enjoy. When one enjoys something they tend to do it whenever they can. Sometimes these desires for something become uncontrollable. At that point a person falls into one of the negative person categories. Manmade drugs, alcohol, a poor diet, negative sex, gambling etc. are negative devices that can have horrible effects, and may possibly destroy anyone close to them, regardless of if the person that gets hurt, indulges in these negativities or not.

Another type of person one should avoid is a person that walks away from you in the middle of your conversation with them and is not angry. They obviously don't care what you have to say. They find no intellectual value from your conversation. They consider you inferior. This is something I experience to this day. Very recently a supervisor had done this to me and he actually asked a question and then walked off before I could answer him fully. Some people aren't evil but we must put them in this category because they can hinder someone's growth, depending on the subordinate's weaknesses.

Some haters are not bad haters if that is actually possible. Some of them can just be closed minded. They won't believe the truth if it smacked them in the face. This is extremely important, because this one weakness in one person can destroy a whole team. A person or a group of people has to have the ability to evolve and improve. If as many as one of them is stuck on stupid, they will sink the whole ship or cause it to never make progress. This will give any wise person a good excuse to leave or quit. Keep this in mind; if someone can have negative emotions for someone else, they are capable of having those same emotions for you. One of the most dangerous negative people, has no idea that they are even causing you harm. Here is a list of some negative individuals.

• The Drama Lover

• The Never Happy

• D. Bully

• False Faces (Two Face and Many Faces

The Drama Lover ...

Off the top of my head there are four types of Drama Lovers ...

• The first of the four is the Insta Gator. This individual enjoys getting other people to do negative things. They are like a negative cheer leader or coach, because some will even demonstrate what they want to happen. Watch out for these individuals. They may hide behind someone else. Even get someone else to speak or front for them. The one thing you can count on is they will definitely leave someone else holding the bag.

• The Perpitraitor is the culprit that actually does the negative actions. He or she is the most dangerous of all. Sometimes these individuals are gullible. Sometimes they have been harboring a need to do something negative and an Insta Gator be friends them and it's on!

• The Spec Tator aka Agitator, will cheer and incite. They seem to get more courage as their numbers grow. Some can evolve into the previous two characters in the ideal circumstance. These individuals watching or witnessing an event give the previous two characters an audience in which to perform for.

• And I can't forget the Self Hater. This is an individual that wallows in self-pity. Their life is completely based off what other's tell them. They lack self-confidence and self-worth. They are easily swayed to a new opinion. Often suicidal and have no problem sacrificing themselves for an Insta Gator's cause.

It seemed obvious to call the next group of negative individuals The Never Happy.

Why, because, they are never happy. Here are three people that seem to never be satisfied no matter how much you try to help them or how much is done for them.....

• The first is the Spoiled brat. This is a childlike person. They need and want you to do, what they want to do, when they want you to. Or just like a child, you are likely to witness them throw a fit or tantrum.

• Next is the User. The User can be a truly sinister person that understands and has empathy for others, but uses it to see weakness in their prey. They usually have no compassion or respect for their target.

• One negative type, I am sure you have known is the Complainer. The Complainer can only see negative. They seem to be blind to the bright side. Even if there is something that is obviously good to say, they find it very hard to not say something negative.

D. Bully– There are many types of bullies. Most recently, Cyber Bullies have emerged as a heavily spoken about topic of conversation. I thought I would delve a little deeper and examine some personality types. Here are four that came to mind for me.

• The Reluctant Bully. This type of bully is someone that would not be a bully normally. They need a reason to walk this course of negative dominance. The Insta Gator loves this type of Bully to get a plan into motion.

• The Power Driven Bully. This is someone that doesn't care about any person that happens to get in their way. They will get rid of that person any way they see fit.

• The Insecure Bully has fears, phobias and secrets to protect. If anyone gets near the object or secret, it will unleash The Insecure Bully's anger and rage.

• The last type of bully I came up with is, the Controlling Bully. They always feel the need to be in charge. It doesn't matter if they are the best for the job or not. They could be the worst for it, but still feel the need to control anything, or anyone, within their grasp.

Sometimes people feel the need to deceive and put on False Faces in order to accomplish things they need in life. Because of their need I had a need to write these next two sections.

The first is Two Face —

Two Face is usually a double agent but only for their own causes. They often pretend to be someone's friend only to use their trust to get information they can use any way they deem fit. They will also say one thing to you and say another thing away from you.

The second I called Many Faces —

Many Faces could be a positive or negative individual. They seem to have multiple personalities. Sometimes they may even seem crazy. Some are very stable and use planned mood swings to accomplish a goal, while others may actually be a degree of schizophrenia. These are the people that you meet with sometimes and you have no idea what mood they might be in when they arrive.

This next category is truly a devastating thing for any human to be a victim of. The one thing that is given to us that can never be taken away is our ability to think and make rational choices in life. However, some very evil men created ways that people can involuntarily give up this power over ourselves and surrender it to a devastating and life threatening type of habit. I called this victim, D. Addict.

D Addict truly worships a higher power. I will dig deeper into this subject matter later in the chapter on Man Made Drugs. D. Addict lives by the motto, misery loves company and has no problem offering their habit to you. Here are five examples of D. Addict —

• The Manmade Zombie is anyone that has developed an addiction for a manmade drug or chemical. From your standard Methamphetamine users, the different cocaine users, the heroin addicts to the alleged bath salt junkie that the South Florida Police shot and killed for eating another man alive. These people have become victim to a population control trap.....Imagine a small bug in a sink of water that is being drained

• Al Key Hawlic is anyone that allows their drinking habit to cause extreme negative problems in their life in one or more of these five areas; health, family, professional, financial and legal

• Dee Blunt is a person that feels they can't smoke marijuana without it being rolled in a cigar. The reason for this is cigars are very addictive in a similar manner as cigarettes. They also cause one to smoke 4-5 times more marijuana than a person normally would. The biggest problem with this is cigars cause heart failure.

• New Porter-A New Porter is a menthol cigarette smoker. Menthol is an ingredient that stimulates receptors in the throat and gives one a fresh breath taste similar to peppermint. People that smoke menthol cigarettes, tend to inhale larger amounts of smoke with each puff due to this taste. Cigarette smoke contains over 4,000 chemicals, including 43 that are known to cause cancer and 400 other toxins. They contain nicotine, tar, and carbon monoxide, formaldehyde, ammonia, hydrogen cyanide, arsenic, and DDT.

Nicotine is very addictive. So the New Porter is at a higher risk of cancer than a non -menthol smoker. An ex=girlfriend of mine was a cigarette smoker since she was a teenager. She passed away due to complications from lung cancer, caused by menthol cigarette smoking in her mid-forty's.

• Kay Seeno is the person that is addicted to gambling. Another topic I will discuss in detail in a later chapter

• Nie Eve N. Clueless......The Nie Eve N. Clueless are people that are ignorant and unaware of the negative they do. Some of these types have a pure and very strong element of compassion. It is so strong that it blinds them of the ability to empathize with the individual they are dealing with and they may often disrespect them. It is the old cliché' too much of a good thing can be bad'. Some of these individuals can be helped, while others are so far gone you need to just let them be, period

• Crab Enda Barrel-Jealousy and envy are emotions that can consume a person's desire and motivation. In the Bible it is called Coveting. Crab Enda Barrel is an individual that can't stand to see someone else do well. I came up with three types —

• Talk Yadown-Talk Yadown is the negative motivator. Always coming up with reasons to hold you back or derail your efforts through conversation

• Pull Yadown-This person will stand in your way, sabotage you or actually pull you down

• Beat Yadown-Well this is obvious, this person will go as far as kill you to stop you from doing better than them

• Rob Ya Blind- is a high ranking official of the anti-Two Way Street principal movement. ... Here are three.....

• That Mutha Fucka......is a lover or spouse that takes a lot more than they give and sometimes deserts their lover and leaves them with nothing of value

• Yo Potna......is a business associate or a friend that is willing to destroy a friendship or business venture for non-logical or selfish reasons

• Yo Gubna, also known as the Shepherd or The People Programmers. They are the Organizations and Groups in command and have dominion over human society. ...

I gave them funny names, so it would become a labor of love for you, to recognize these people, and in some cases get a few laughs out of doing what's best for you. Please do this with an open minded, non-judgmental approach. Otherwise I will have to create another negative description, for your newly created category. Some of these negative types can be helped, although if you decide you want to help them you must proceed with wisdom and caution. Some are hopeless and you should avoid them as if they have the plague. In some cases they do, literally to the death. There are other negative people, but these are very common ones and as I said previously, this is a good place to start.

---

Excerpted from The Job Shopper by D. Byron Wiley. Copyright © 2016 D. Byron Wiley. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

---