The Katz House

by Betty Jo Baca

Overview

This is a book of short stories about the animals that came with a Florida house that had been vacant of humans for two years.

On our one-third acre, we have at least twenty-eight animals that I have written about. There are a few more, but these have impressed me enough to want to share them with you.

These short stories are written from the wildlifes point of view as they live with me and my family.

I hope you will enjoy the animals as I have watched and learned about them. I hope you may appreciate and understand the Florida wildlife a little better.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781504961011
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	11/13/2015
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	118
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

She enjoys living in Port Charlotte, Florida.

She has been a Girl Scout, a Girl Scout leader of her daughter’s Troops, and the nature advisor for her son’s Boy Scout Troop. She loves all the animals she has observed in their natural environments. Each animal has special characteristics, and she studies them so she can learn about them and how they live.

She is writing this short story book with the acquired knowledge of her sixty-eight years of observations of the animals she has watched.

These stories are how she comprehends they would think about us humans watching them, with some humor and sarcasm that they might feel.

Read an Excerpt

The Katz House

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By Betty Jo Baca

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2015 Betty Jo Baca
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5049-6100-4

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CHAPTER 1

Big Bertha and Precious, the Green Tree Frog and the Cuban Frog

Hello World!

My name is Big Bertha says the female human who turns on the light of her front porch every night and off as she finishes her walk with her dog, named LoLo.

She always says "Hello Big Bertha" when she sees me hanging on the wall above her front door and "Good Night" to me as she passes under me and goes inside the house to turn off the light.

I now live in this fake Tiffany light on their front porch. Thank God! Someone finally bought this house and turned on the lights so now I have a wide smorgasbord of bugs to eat. I do have to watch my figure.

I had been living on the Traveler Palm by the front porch, which was busy during the day when the anoles were awake and at night there wasn't too much for me to eat with no electric light to draw them to it.

My figure had gotten very thin. Not good if you are trying to attract a mate!

The humans also repaired those pool's screens in the lanai and the big pond (pool) is enclosed with no more access to it for us frogs. We had to find a new place to lay our eggs in some kind of water.

The humans cleaned their pool with all kinds of cleaners and chlorine when they moved in. Which we had used for two years and it was a perfect shade of green with the right amount of algae for our baby tadpoles to eat.

Then the humans hauled the old side by side frig stored on the lanai out for the trash man where eight of my friends had lived for the last two years.

When the female human removed the fake flower wreath on the wall by the back door where five of my friends were living. My cousin, the biggest female green tree frog jumped on the humans hand and scared her so much she wet her pants and said a few bad words. But those suction cups on the green frogs' feet held her tightly on to the human's hand. The human had to pick her off her hand to remove my cousin. The next day my cousin worried about getting warts on her feet from the human.

The green tree frog families are now looking for new places to live. Wow, life can be hard for us, wildlife creatures.

The coolest thing that the humans brought with them a water fountain that runs all day and night. It is fun to swim in at night when we skinny dip.

We left them strings of eggs to hatch every month last year and we laughed about that. The humans seem to get very excited to find those strings of tadpole eggs in their water fountain.

I had to share the female human's affections with a frog the human had named Precious. Precious had many flash pictures taken of her because she was such a large frog. She is so big and fat and just sat in that Traveler Palm all day. But why not take some pictures of me, I wondered. I am a much prettier shade of green.

I felt jilted of the female human's affection. But when the humans found out Precious was a Cuban frog and she should put her in a Ziploc bag, frozen and put in the trash. She was an invasive species of frog and would eat all the native Florida frogs according to the State Nature environmental experts. That Internet information was a big break for my kind and me.

Precious heard them talking about what they were going to do with her and she just vanished that night.

Now that she is gone ...

I am free to live here and have as many suitors as I reply to their nightly crocks. I am not a married frog.

Slither, the Black Racer Snake

I know I am not as scary as some of my fellow snakes because that human sees me, she comments "Slither, you are just the width of a #2 yellow pencil and you don't scare me."

"I wonder what I can do to scare her?"

I think, Slither is the name the female human calls me because of how I get out of her way. I slide with the help of my scale like skin on my belly. I can be fast if I want to when I am frightened.

Today I was just lying on the driveway minding my own business and warming up. Thank God, it is spring and the sun is shining again. I always feel cold, I'm a snake. Winters can still be cold in Florida, even though the humans call it the Sunshine State.

When the human female drove up in her shiny red car she almost ran over me. She should watch more closely where and how she parks.

The human got out of the car and I wanted to scare her some so I slowly wiggled my way to behind the big green can. I slid slowly enough to let her see I was a full three feet of shiny blackness.

My favorite hiding place is just beyond the cans in the trash pile next to their white house. They made that pile when they moved in a year ago and we just love to hide in it.

The male human calls our kind the Periscope snakes because of how we lift our heads to see what is going on around us before sliding to where we want to go, when it is safe to continue.

I am thankful they have not chased me with a broom or rake like she did my brother when he just happened to be sunning himself in the lanai-blue pond area. That human just wanted him outside where he belonged, as she put it. She forgets, we were here first.

She forgets there are bugs and spiders to eat by the big pond in all her plants. He was just helping her keep the population controlled by living in there with them.

When the male human came home that night, I heard her tell him he had to fix the screen doors so they would close and latch. There was one of those black snakes out there today sunning itself.

But that is not how we get in. Surprise! There is a small tear in their screen by the tiled floor behind one of her plants. The opening is just big enough for us thin snakes to slide through. That opening says, Come on in, to us!

There are four of us living in the wild grape vines under the pine trees on my side of their house and two more like us live on the other side of their house in the wild potato vines growing up and down in the old oak tree. Our sister, Slinky like one of them. I've seen her slide off in the night to go see him. I hope dad doesn't catch her.

We do a fine job of eating the pests that the humans would have to deal with if we weren't around.

We pride ourselves on eating as many bugs, crickets, small tree frogs, spiders and other small insects as we can.

We just want to live here in peace and harmony with them. Trying not to bother or scare the humans. Isn't that a reasonable expectation? I think so.

Hairy, the Hairy Woodpecker

I clear my throat to project my lovely song. My special call is so distinctive that all the other birds know it's me.

I let go of the pine tree I had been pecking on. There aren't any bugs in this one. I glide in the air till I have to flap my wings, flap one, flap two- now glide. Yes, I know where I am going! To that fully stocked feeder station the humans have put in by the vine covered fence.

Thank God, the humans that moved in to the vacant house have installed a bird feeder. We now have free food that we don't have to work for.

Now if they would only put out a birdbath! We birds would really love that.

Only problem for a woodpecker is I have to hang on to the perch, not sit on the perch like every other bird. I am used to spreading my toes to grasp on to the tree bark. So on a perch I kind of swing back and forth, and I feel unbalanced while pecking at the seeds in the feeder.

I wish I could tell the humans I liked the last batch of seeds better than this sunflower, corn and tiny seed mixture. The only one who really loves this feed is the squirrel.

He jumps from the vine-covered fence to the feeder, hangs by his back feet to see through the dome, and use his front feet to grab the corn nuggets and sunflower seeds. He loves the big chunks of corn the most.

Yesterday, I heard the female human say, "Hello Hairy!'

I gather that she is referring to me, since I'm the only one at the feeder. I wonder why she calls me Hairy? I'm covered with feathers; nothing fluffy or fuzzy just sleek feathers.

As I feed, my beak slings the seeds everywhere, looking for my favorites. Swish with my beak to the right; then swish to the left. I am scattering seeds all over the place.

The doves will have lots to eat now. I think that as I continue to show my dislike for this new batch of seeds.

I hear the female human say, "Hairy don't you like the feed?" She is softly speaking from inside the pond area.

Swish, swish and I fly away only to return later in the day if I can't find any bugs in any of my favorite trees that I bang on with my jackhammer of a beak.

I glide to the old pine and begin to peck 300 strokes a min. making small holes in the bark to find treats to eat. The sound echoes through the trees. I hop up a bit and begin to punch holes there still hoping to find some bugs. I'm not having much luck today. So I will hit the feeder station again later.

It is spring and time to find a mate. I hope I find a lady with an existing nesting cavity. I'm not lazy but these old trees have many vacancies. Now I just need a lady hairy woodpecker to make my life complete.

I clear my throat and begin to sing my most romantic love call. "Anyone out there?"

Hilda, the Housekeeper Spider

When the humans were moving their things into the house that had been closed up for two years, I managed to run in the open door so fast they didn't see me. Inside there were so many stacked brown things to hide behind or inside them when they were opened. I find that is a prime time to eat all the unseen hopefully delicious, bugs they bring into a new dwelling.

Humans usually are scared or frightened of my big four-inch hairy black body. But if they thought of all the bugs I eat, that would also frighten them. They should love having me keep house for them instead of trying to kill me or placing me outside the house. While I am on duty you won't see any roaches, other spiders, silverfish or ants.

You humans should be grateful to me because I save you money on pest sprays or expensive exterminator bills. I'm free, and keep the house free of other pests. Please don't think of me as a pest. I am your friend when you get past how I look. Besides I usually come out at night when the humans are asleep so I don't scare them.

I like the dryness of a house. I don't have to find a place to hide from the rain and other things that want to harm me. I am usually the biggest thing in a house that I take care of.

One night the house was fully lit up, and there were so many humans inside the house, I just had to come out to see what was going on. I quickly got to my favorite place to survey the kitchen area high on the wall above the refrigerator. I could see everything from there, and hopefully be unseen in the corner of the white wall.

I could see the big table I like to hide under was filled with their kinds of foods and glasses of things they drink. You humans can make so much noise! I think they call it a party, but all I know is I could not sleep for all the racket you are making.

Oh no, one of the men saw me and pointed me out to the other humans. The females began to scream loudly and hop up on the chairs, still screaming. Now that is the funniest thing I have seen humans do. I am high up on a wall and they jump up into a chair.

The male human began planning how to catch me while the females were letting out deafening screams.

I am like lightning when I run, and I ran for the space beside the refrigerator where they can't get to me. I think I am safe but I hear them talking about bug spray. I'm out of here.

I emerge from behind the cabinet to watch them again. They are still at the refrigerator with a spray can. I'm not there humans.

Whoops! One female spotted me. Where to now? I froze in place because I didn't see any where to hide from here. What was I thinking?

The male human has something I can see through in his hand and a piece of paper in the other hand. He climbs on a chair to get closer to me. Something has imprisoned me, and I can see them but I can't get through this, whatever it is. I feel paper slide under my eight legs. He lifts me up and I am now looking at the male human's two eyes with my eight eyes. "You humans are so ugly!"

Now what?

I am passed around the room to calm the ladies down. One female human says as she peers at me, "That's a housekeeper spider. We should name her Hilda after the maid I had as a child."

"Out you go, Hilda" says the male human as he walks me out of the house to the porch. He sets the container down and lifts it off me.

I see freedom in front of me. I make a mad dash for the nearest place to hide till he goes away.

I watch him enter the house, closing the door after him, and she thinks to herself, "You think you got rid of me just know, I'ILL BE BACK!

Rascal, the Grey Squirrel

I am the best wire walker in the neighborhood. I amaze my wife and children with my jumping from trees to the wires I love to run on. Not too many things can get me up here.

The bobcats, housecats and dogs don't walk on the high wires like I do. Only problems I know of are the hawks and eagles. They can swoop down and grab me in their claws. There is no escaping from those strong hooks. I am always looking for their shadow as they fly over me, and I get to a safe place quickly.

There is a new food source in the woods now. Human have moved into the house that was empty for so long and they put out a bird feeder. "It is not only for birds," I told my wife. It has some great things for us too. Besides those tiny seeds it has corn chunks and sunflower seeds in the shells.

I can jump from the vine-covered fence to the feeder pole where I climb to the top. Then the hard part, sliding over the dome to get to the feeders roof where I can hang by my back legs and slide down the container of food to the tray where the food is ready for picking. I stuff my cheeks full with chunky corn and the sunflower seeds. Being the man of the nest I have to feed my family, and this is the easiest way to do that.

To exit, I have to get up on the roof again. From there I can jump back onto the vines of the fence or slide down the pole to the ground. On the ground I might find more food if the doves leave me anything from where that woodpecker's rejects. He has no manners and is just plain wasteful, if you ask me.

The female human sees me in the feeder and is coming out into that screened in area again. She usually doesn't bother me. But today she began to talk to me. At least I think that is what she is doing.

"Hey, you in the bird feeder! That's right ... it's a bird feeder not a squirrel feeder." She was much louder than when she talks to the other animals. "You are quite the rascal, you know, stealing their food like you do. Guess that is what I will call you, Rascal, the bird food thief. Now scat! You stole enough to feed your family."

From her tone I know I had worn out my welcome. I jumped to the vines and made my way through the tangled mass to escape with my full jaws. "Hey female human, the feeder needs filling!"

Dabber, the Dirt Dauber

I was flying all around the area looking for a place to start building a new dwelling.

Humans had moved into the abandoned house and they had installed a fountain on the front porch. I now had a water source to build my muddy dirt-based houses.

The female daubers are always looking for a fast efficient building male dirt dauber. I must say my adobes are sturdy and stay stuck on the walls or ceilings of human houses.

I had started building a new adobe dwelling in the front window, and the female human began to watch me, first from inside their house, and then she came outside to get closer look.

"Hey, Dabber, you are a quality craftsman." The female human said, as I was almost finished with the first compartment.

Did she call me Dabber? What's up with that? I am a male Dirt Dauber! Shouldn't she call me Mr. Dauber!

"How many chambers do you build in each house?" She asked as if I could talk back to her.

I flew closely by her head making her duck as my answer.

"Everyone knows no two are alike." I thought as I flew past her to make more wet mud, that female human is so nosey. You would think she was going to steal my designs by the way she studied my building techniques.

I fly to the fountain and get some water and off to the secret location of my favorite dirt pile. I load up and fly back to start another room on my current adobe.

I look around before I leave the fountain this time. I don't want any other daubers to know where I get my dirt. It is the best dirt I have ever worked with. It mixes well with the water and is so strong when it dries. I am the expert builder in the area.

Almost finished and now I need a lady dauber to lay her eggs in it. I will put the vacant sign up in the morning and wait to see who shows up.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from The Katz House by Betty Jo Baca. Copyright © 2015 Betty Jo Baca. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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