Table of Contents
A "Quick-Start" Guide ix
Disclaimer xi
Glossary xiii
Introduction xvii
Chapter 1 Arc You Overparenting? 1
How Do You Know whether You Are Overparenting? 4
A Color Code for Parents 7
Parenting Archetypes 9
Hands On/Hands Off 34
Less Protection, More Communication 36
Chapter 2 Why Twenty-First-Century Parenting Seems So Hard 39
What to Expect When Everyone Is Telling You What to Expect 40
How Did Overparenting Begin? 42
A Brief History of Parenting 43
The Psychology of Children 46
Spock Talk 47
Children of the 1960s 47
The Changing Paradigm of Parenting 49
Who's Minding the Store? 53
Raising a Global Child in Today's Society 54
The Big Three Parenting Styles 55
Mindful Parenting 56
Your Child's School as Co-Parent 58
Ban Those Ralls! 61
Whose Education Is This, Anyway? 63
Managing Expectations 65
Overparenting or Just Plain Dumb? 66
The Ethical Road Is Forked 69
Chapter 3 How Does Overparenting Happen? 71
Defining Success 72
In the Beginning 74
Caution: Fragile Contents Inside 75
Testing! Testing! Testing! 77
Parental Aptitude Test 78
Aptitude versus Fortitude 81
From Playdates to Preschool: Too Much Programming 81
To Schedule or to Chill? 82
But What If? 84
Do I Have to Wear a Helmet to Bed? 85
Techno Wars 86
Which Parents Are Most Susceptible to Overparenting? 88
A Warning to Divorcing Parents 94
Communication Gaps May Lead to Overparenting 95
Who Are You Really Helping? 96
Fighting the Odds 97
Chapter 4 The Agony and the Ecstasy of Your Active Child 101
Like It or Not 103
Performance Isn't Everything 105
The Curse of Electronics and the War of the Thumbs 108
Louis C. K. Explains Why He Doesn't Want His Kids to Have Smartphones 110
The Free-Play Challenge 111
Bullying: Defining Our Role as Parents 114
"I Coulda Been a Contenduh" 118
Whatever Happened to Pickup Ball? 119
Friday Night Lights to the Rescue 123
Not Everyone Can Play Quarterback 126
Chapter 5 How Overparenting Affects Your Child-and You 129
Intensive Parenting 130
The Overparenting Equation: Cause and Effect for Your Child and You 132
Overparenting = A Lack of Trust 136
Overparenting = Inadequate Life Skills 137
Overparenting = Fear of Failure 139
Overparenting = Reduced Self-Esteem 141
Overparenting = Feelings of Entitlement 143
Overparenting = Lack of Creativity 144
Overparenting = Irresponsible and Unaccountable Young Adults 147
Overparenting = Bad Role Modeling 148
Overparenting = Inept Children 149
Overparenting = Increased Anxiety 151
Overpareniing = Compromised Resilience 152
Does Overparenting Affect You, Too? 153
Which Child Is Yours? 155
Chapter 6 The Long Arms of Overparenting 161
The Technology Trap 161
East versus West 166
Considering Independent College Counselors 168
When Parents Can't Let Go 172
The Effects of Overparenting on College Graduates 174
How Overparenting Affects You as a Parent 176
Choosing a Different Path 177
Chapter 7 Looking Forward and Letting Go 181
Whose Success Are You Really Seeking? 182
Through the Looking Glass:
A Personal Note from George S. Glass, MD 184
A Prescription for Healthy Parenting 187
A Cautionary Tale from the Tabatsky Files 188
The Trickle-Down Effects of Stay-at-Home Dads 189
What Children Re-ally Want Their Parents to Do with Them 190
The Parenting Paradox 192
Acknowledgments 195
About the Authors 197
Notes 201
