The Real Freshman Handbook

The Real Freshman Handbook

by Jennifer Hanson
The Real Freshman Handbook

The Real Freshman Handbook

by Jennifer Hanson

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Overview

Geared to equip students for the front lines of the college experience, The College Handbook is a funny and insightful manual on everything a freshman needs to know to make the transition from high school to college, from home life to dorm life. From filling out the dreaded roommate questionnaire and choosing courses to studying for exams, writing papers, doing laundry, and surviving the social scene, Jennifer Hanson covers it all with a sense of humor and an insider's eye toward what really matters and works at college. Full of practical tips and funny anecdotal proof of their value, The College Handbook will quickly become every freshman's bible.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780547561479
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 09/09/1996
Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
Format: eBook
Pages: 256
File size: 2 MB

About the Author

Jennifer Hanson, a proverbial professional student, is a graduate of Harvard University and a second-year law student at the University of Michigan. She has sought the advice and experiences of friends at colleges and universities all over the country to ensure a guide that will speak to all freshmen.

Read an Excerpt

Introduction Welcome to college!!! You're in for the ride of your life—enough '70s parties to wear down the seat of those vinyl camouflage pants your dad gave you for graduation; all-night rap sessions about men, women, and Pat; moonlight kisses on the football field after the lights have been extinguished. If you're especially photogenic, you may even find yourself having an animated conversation with a professor in front of a blazing maple tree and, later, in an admissions brochure.

In the above endeavors you don't need much guidance; just follow your libido and the fashion dictates of Abercrombie & Fitch.
But college isn't all Felicity-style hangin'; as the stacks of forms colleges send incoming freshmen attest, there's a lot of practical stuff to deal with. How do you go about choosing four classes from a catalog of three thousand, let alone how do you survive them? How do you get a vomit stain out of your comforter and the neighborhood cockroaches out of your Tupperware? What should you do if your roommate develops severe stomach pains and is too weak to get to the infirmary? How can you avoid spending more on books than you did on plane fare? How do you build a loft? How can you maintain fullbody fitness without leaving your Barcalounger? And, most important of all, how can you ensure that your nocturnally foraging roommate is out cold, his coonskin cap covering his face, by midnight the evening before your "rocks for jocks" exam?

We know the solutions to these and other pressing problems because we've been there; we've been through freshman year and the memory is still fresh as dog doo. You see, my friend, we're college students just like you, only alittle older (juniors), a little wiser, and a little more obsessed with corn. We know that you could find out everything in this book by yourself if you had to and that many of your less literate classmates will, and more. But there is just so much fun to be had . . . why reinvent the wheel when you could be out burning up the road?

We come originally from Minnesota, where we rose out of the cornfields of our youth to attend high school in the lovely but unfortunately cropfree city of Minneapolis. There we lived in friendship, gossip, and a pizza restaurant called Sydney's; there we parted, each bound for a different part of the country and a different type of collegiate environment. Two years later we came together again, possessed by a mission to spread the lessons we learned from our mistakes and experiences, and the gospel of grain.
The result of our reminiscences, Jolt-fed brainstorming, and piety: the book you now hold in your trembling hand.

From our class, our campuses, and our fields to yours, then, our gift.
Copyright © 1996, 2002 by Jennifer Hanson. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Company.

Table of Contents

Introductionvii
1.Avoiding Ex-cons: How to Make the Rooming Questionnaire Make Your Year1
2.Narrowing the Field: Course Selection9
3.The Ultimate Packing List15
4.Word! Computers25
5.Planes, Trains, & Automobiles: Transportation34
6.Transportation on Campus46
7.Bonding to Blowouts: The Law of Roommates56
8.Urban Sophisticate: Apartment Living68
9.Martha Stewart Meets the Barracks: Room Decorating77
10.Cheapskating Your Way through College: Finances84
11.From Break-ins to Ben & Jerry's Bodyguards: Safety & Security94
12.Don't Count on the Premed: Health & Emergencies105
13.B.S. & Friends: Course Survival127
14.Research & Romance: The Library151
15.Get a Job159
16.The Tide of Love: Laundry172
17.Room or Ruins? Simple Dorm Maintenance180
18.Phys. Ed. 101: Sleep & Exercise186
19.The Glory That Was Greece: Fraternities and Sororities194
20.The Leisure Class: Student Activities198
21.Wild Thing: Sex204
22.Be Your Own Dog: Drinking213
23.Food(?)218
24.Turkey in a Toast-R-Oven & Other Trappings of Celebration: Holidays228
Conclusion: Looking Ahead239
Acknowledgments241
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