Read an Excerpt
The Sky Detective
A Memoir
By Azadeh Tabazadeh iUniverse
Copyright © 2015 Azadeh Tabazadeh
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-6060-4
CHAPTER 1
The Science Prize
San Francisco, December 2001
My stomach knots as I glance at an audience of more than seven thousand people gathered in the grand ballroom at the Marriott in San Francisco. This year, I've been selected by the American Geophysical Union to receive a prestigious science medal. Thank God I'm not alone up here on the stage. Men in dark suits or tuxedoes are seated to my left and right, waiting for their turns to speak.
The notes for my speech are crumpled inside a vintage beaded gold purse I purchased at an antique shop last week to match a navy-blue-and-gold St. John suit that I had bought earlier for this occasion. My husband will likely raise an eyebrow when he sees our credit card bill next month, but for now, he appears cheerful, chatting with my parents in the front row—Baba in a dark tailored suit and Mamman in a flowing lavender silk dress that she wore to our wedding eight years earlier.
A few days after my parents learned of this award, they sent me a large bouquet of flowers. Hidden in between the stems and the leaves, I saw a note written in Baba's meticulous handwriting: To our lovely, amazing daughter. You have made us all proud to be Iranian. His words brought tears of pride to my eyes as I remembered my adolescent years when life seemed like a burden unworthy of the wait to become an adult.
Back then, every morning, I reluctantly dressed in a dark cloak and a long headscarf and headed for school, came home, and waited with my family for Iraqi planes to once again bomb Tehran—bombs that kept us all hidden in our dark, damp basement until dawn. Through those dark hours, I often thought, What on earth am I here for?
As I look up from the stage, the glint of Baba's gold Rolex watch catches my eye. He purchased it last year to attend a ceremony at the White House, an occasion he often brags about. I took him along with me as my guest of honor to receive a presidential award, a half-million-dollar grant from President Clinton's office to continue my research on polar stratospheric clouds—a special class of clouds that naturally form over the poles but can interact with chemicals humans release to produce a hole in Earth's ozone layer. This layer, located in the lower stratosphere, absorbs most of the harmful UV radiation that is incident upon our planet. Even minute amounts of ozone degradation within this layer translate into copious amounts of UV radiation reaching Earth's surface, posing a threat to the survival of all living organisms.
Baba, touched by the president's generosity, vowed to vote democratic in the next election, but then he changed his mind. He voted for Bush instead of Gore, and that broke my heart, since Al Gore has always been the most recognized and outspoken advocate for environmental research, my area of specialty. My father, I believe, will never cast a vote for a Democrat, for in his mind, President Carter is the reason Iran became the "Islamic Republic of Iran" in 1979.
The moment I've dreaded is almost here. My heart beats fast as I hear, "It's my great pleasure to introduce Dr. Azadeh Tabazadeh ..." Once again, an honor that I am grateful and humbled to receive comes at a cost of facing my worst fear. I'd rather kiss a snake than take center stage in front of all these people.
Minutes later, I'm standing behind the podium, head down, rummaging through my tiny gold purse to retrieve my crinkly notes inside. The microphone is on, so the audience can hear me scrambling behind the scenes to get ready for my talk. With notes in hand, I take a deep breath, thank a few colleagues, and begin.
Once my daughter, Dionna, asked me, "What do you do at your work?"
"I am a scientist," I told her.
"What's that?"
"I study the clouds, rainbows, and many other interesting things that you often like to paint."
"Well, I also like to paint dinosaurs, and I don't think I want to be a scientist. I want to be a bone collector when I'm all grown up."
Luckily, what she meant was to take all of her friends to a desert to dig for dinosaur bones. She also tried hard to convince me not to worry too much about the clouds, because they are always there in the sky for everyone to see, whereas dinosaur bones are hiding in the sand waiting for "little" people to find them.
At last, I told her, "If you work really hard, someday you will be the most famous grown-up bone collector on Earth."
I pause for a moment to look at the audience: row upon row of faces glowing under crisp chandelier lights. Laughter fills the air as I tell the story of the chemistry kit that my uncle gave me as a present when I was eight—a kit that got me hooked on science early on but also caused my mother to snap at me from time to time.
Before closing, I look directly at my parents' gaze. This may be my last opportunity to thank them in front of such a large crowd.
Nineteen years ago, a few years after the Islamic Revolution in Iran, it was just a dream for a young woman to even think of pursuing a career in science ... It is because of my parents' unselfish sacrifices that I am living today the life of my dreams ...
Drenched in sweat and slightly shaking, I walk back to my seat with my hands wrapped around a small mahogany box presented to me after my talk.
Inside the box, a large silver medal is inscribed with my name, the date, and a citation that reads: For Significant Contributions to the Geophysical Sciences by a Young Scientist of Outstanding Ability.
The words instantly boost my ego and soothe my nerves. I can finally breathe a sigh of relief and even laugh in my head at the sight of my name—Azadeh Tabazadeh—listed on Wikipedia among a sea of Richards, Davids, Johns, and Michaels, the previous recipients of this award. I know it will happen sooner or later; a curious web browser will click on my name, expecting to see a picture of a nerdy-looking guy from a strange country with a name that's either difficult to pronounce or impossible to place on the map. Instead, a photograph of me—an unveiled woman from an estranged but now well-known country—fills the screen. The browser may pause for a moment and puzzle over my appearance.
A short trip to a shopping mall is not the reason that I appear Westernized in that photograph. In 1982, my brother, my cousin, and I, all teenagers at the time, fled Iran by crossing a vast barren desert to reach the borders of Pakistan and beyond. For thousands of miles, the scorching sun burned our faces raw as we traveled by foot, on crowded mopeds, and in the back of rusty pickup trucks, putting our lives in the hands of Pakistani smugglers who were now trafficking people, instead of drugs, out of Iran. My life has changed a great deal since then, but the world, it seems, has remained the same—countries at war or in the midst of bloody revolutions with no political resolution in sight.
A week after the award ceremony, I set out to buy a chemistry kit for my daughter, Dionna, at a Toys "R" Us near my work at NASA in Moffett Field, California, hoping that the gift may entice her to pursue science and stay away from world politics of any kind.
In the store, I find the section where the science kits are stacked, but nothing interesting catches my eye. The professional-looking kit of the 1970s, which I got as a kid, has now become just another cartoonish-looking box lost in the land of Toys "R" Us.
Disappointed, I leave the store empty handed, wondering how many little girls will miss the opportunity I was given at age eight to find myself.
CHAPTER 2
The Chemistry Kit
Tehran, March 1973
I wake up to the sound of loud laughter, grab my robe, and rush down the stairs. At the bottom of the staircase, a medium-sized, black leather suitcase leans against the railing. It resembles the valise that Dr. Vahedian, our family physician, carries during house visits, but this one, I assume, belongs to my uncle Mahmood. He left Iran last year to study abroad and is now back for a short visit to celebrate No Rooz, New Year, with our family on March 21, which is exactly ten days away.
Uncle's thundering voice echoes from the kitchen, "A breakfast is incomplete without a few slices of jambon. Is there a grocery store nearby that sells jambon? I can't wait to butter a piece of fresh lavash and make a fat jambon sandwich."
"La ilaha illallah," Grandma warns him. "Mahmood, God will punish you in hell if you eat jambon. Pigs are filthy animals. They eat their own waste. Muslims don't eat jambon. Don't you know that?"
"La ilaha illallah" is Grandma's favorite phrase. It sounds much better in Arabic than in Farsi—there is no God but Allah—but what does it really mean, anyway? Isn't Allah the same thing as God?
"God. What God?" Uncle asks Grandma. "There is no God. Who said you couldn't eat shit if it tasted good? Your mighty Allah! Tell me, Mother, why is your Allah so incredibly nosy? Why should He care if I eat jambon or not? Aren't there more urgent matters in this world for this Allah of yours to intervene?"
"What's jambon?" my brother, Jahan, asks, rolling his curls around his index finger as I walk into the kitchen.
Grandma sighs and shakes her head as agate prayer beads pass between her fingers. "La ilaha illallah. Son, stop your nonsense. Bite your tongue."
"Well, well, well, salaam, little lady," Uncle says and stands up, giving me a warm hug and a couple of whiskery kisses that tickle my cheeks. "You're up early today. You haven't changed a bit since the last time I saw you."
The ends of Uncle's thick, black mustache are curved steeply upward, and he often twists the tips with his fingers when he listens or talks. Baba calls Uncle Stalin instead of Mahmood, for his face bears a strong resemblance to Joseph Stalin—Uncle's beloved Russian hero—a personality hated by almost all Iranians. Baba looks somewhat like Uncle, but he is a head shorter and a lot skinnier, and his mustache is perfectly trimmed.
"Salaam, Uncle Mahmood," I say, smiling.
"Child, hurry up. Eat your breakfast. We're going out soon to buy jambon for Grandma."
"What's jambon?" I ask again, since no one answered Jahan's question a few minutes earlier.
"La ilaha illallah. That's enough, Mahmood. Don't teach my grandchildren bad habits," Grandma says and turns to look straight into my eyes. "If you eat jambon, you'll burn in hell, and that's all you need to know."
Uncle springs to his feet and scoops Grandma off the chair as she pulls down her baggy floral-print dress to cover her skinny bare legs. "Mother, I'm not putting you down until you tell me what 'la ilaha illallah' means in Farsi."
"La ilaha illallah. Put me down, Mahmood!" Grandma cries out.
Uncle chuckles and sits Grandma back on the chair, her thin hair standing up in disarray.
"Mother, why do you keep uttering phrases in Arabic that you don't understand?" Uncle asks, shaking his head.
"Uncle, is that your suitcase in the hallway?" I interrupt.
"No. That's your suitcase."
"Mine? What's in it?" I ask, looking up with my mouth open.
"Eat your breakfast first, and then you can open your present," Mamman says as she tucks a strand of red color-treated hair behind her ear.
Mamman and Grandma are both short and slender, but they look nothing alike. Mamman's eyes are large and hazel and are set inside a pair of arched brows, whereas Grandma's are dark and piercing and sit right under a patch of short and thin brows. People say I have Mamman's eyes and brows, Baba's pointy nose and curly hair, and my aunt Akram's full lips. I also think I have Grandma's square chin, though no one has ever told me so.
"But I'm not hungry at all," I say, twisting the end of my frizzy ponytail. "I'll wait for lunch. Can I open it now, please?"
"That's fine," Mamman agrees.
I dash out, eager to find out what can possibly be inside that suitcase for me. In the hallway, I sit down next to the suitcase, unlatch the two locks on the top, and pull the two compartments apart. On one side, there is a folded piece of white fabric, a pair of funny-looking glasses, a pair of gloves, a magazine, glass beakers, a wooden clamp, and a small glass alcohol lamp that looks like a perfume bottle topped with a braided cotton wick protruding through an aluminum cap. Intrigued, I rub it a few times, wishing for a genie to pop out like the one that smokes out of a brass lamp in Aladdin and the Magic Lamp.
The opposite side of the suitcase resembles a miniature bookshelf with four separate shelves, each housing brown sealed bottles filled with colorful powders.
"What kind of a toy is this?" I ask, holding my breath.
"It's a chemistry kit," Uncle says, standing over me.
"What's chemistry?"
"Chemistry is a field in sciences ..."
I can already tell this is a one-of-a-kind toy that no other kid in Iran has ever seen before. "How do I play with this toy?"
"You follow the instructions in the manual to make colorful, shiny crystals. It says right there," Uncle says, pointing to the foreign alphabet on the cover.
I sigh. "But, Uncle, I can't read German."
With one brow raised, Uncle fiddles with his mustache and mumbles, "Um, let's think. Gosh, I guess I've got to translate all this into Farsi for you."
"Great! Can we start now? Please?"
"Sure. Why not? Go on, child—hurry. Grab a notebook and pencil."
I run to my bedroom and return in record time with a notebook in one hand and a sharp pencil in the other. Cuddling next to Uncle on the sofa, I write down "Experiment I: Growing Blue Crystals." After a good fifteen minutes, the description of the first experiment is translated word for word into Farsi.
"Well, why don't you go on up to your room and start the experiment?" Uncle says as he clasps his hands above his head and lets out a heavy sigh.
I latch the suitcase and drag it up the stairs to my bedroom, eager to see which vial contains copper sulfate, the salt called for in Experiment I to make blue crystals. The manual slips out as I unlatch the suitcase. On its cover a young boy is dressed in a white coat, goggles, and gloves. I follow along and put on the full costume, grab a glass beaker, and run to the bathroom.
While glancing at my notes, I place the beaker containing twenty-five milliliters of hot water on my desk. My eyes move back and forth across the suitcase shelves looking for the vial labeled copper sulfate. As I twist its top open, my nostrils fill with that awful scent of rotten eggs. With my nose plugged, I reach to scoop out a tablespoon of what's inside. A grayish-looking powder emerges, making it harder to escape its overwhelming smell. I dump the powder inside the beaker and stir, waiting for the solution to become cloudy.
Hours pass as I sit in my room and watch the gradual growth of a deep-blue crystal on a thick piece of roughened string, ignoring Mamman's calls for lunch and Uncle's shouts to go out and buy jambon for Grandma.
Halfway through the experiment, my cheerful three-year-old sister, Afshan, opens the door and pops in, rambling, "Do you want to play with my new German doll? She's really big. She's very pretty. Her name is Mummy. She also talks. See?" She approaches my desk as her doll speaks.
When I turn my goggled face, she turns and runs away, her screams and the doll's foreign voice ringing in the background.
Hours later, I carefully empty the solution into the bathroom sink to retrieve the crystal. Thank God it doesn't stink nearly as bad as the smelly powder used to make it.
I place the crystal in my hand, close my fingers, and rush down the stairs. No one except for Uncle seems to care much about the blue shiny crystal sparkling in the palm of my hand.
"Excellent, child, excellent. Did you record all your observations as I told you?"
"Yes, Uncle. I wrote down everything I saw!" I exclaim.
"Are you ready for the next experiment?"
"Yes, I'm ready," I say and rush back to my room to fetch the manual, notebook, and pencil.
"Experiment II: Glowing Crystals," Uncle dictates, and I write it down.
As soon as the translation is done, I run back to my room—this time to grow a crystal that supposedly glows in the dark. The procedure for Experiment II is identical to Experiment I, except that I need to use alum instead of copper sulfate, plus ten drops of neon fluorescent ink.
I pour a few spoons of alum salt into a warm mixture of water and fluorescent ink. Instantly, a colorless, ice-like crystal appears and grows quickly. Curious, I turn off the light. Wow, what's in this thing that makes it glow like a night-light?
By the time I finish Experiment II, everyone in the house is fast asleep. I crawl into bed exhausted but inspired. I now have an answer if someone asks me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I'll be a chemist," I'll tell them. A sense of accomplishment falls over me as I watch my newly constructed crystal glow in the dark just like a bright, shining star.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from The Sky Detective by Azadeh Tabazadeh. Copyright © 2015 Azadeh Tabazadeh. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse.
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