The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

by Drew Hayes


View All Available Formats & Editions
Choose Expedited Shipping at checkout for guaranteed delivery by Tuesday, July 2


Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.

One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive." Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780989649995
Publisher: REUTS Publications
Publication date: 08/12/2014
Pages: 300
Sales rank: 743,118
Product dimensions: 5.25(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.67(d)

About the Author

Drew Hayes graduated from Texas Tech with a degree in English. He is the author of many books, including NPCs and The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant. Drew lives in Texas. Visit him at

Kirby Heyborne is an accomplished actor, musician, and comedian who has received a number of AudioFile Earphones Awards for his audiobook narrations. He has had starring roles in over a dozen features and many short films. Kirby is also a cofounder and director of the Los Angeles-based improv comedy group The Society.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I highly recommend taking a walk on the lighter side of death with Fred. This book - basically a collection of short stories - is a real treat even for your more serious dark fantasy nerds, with attention to cryptozoological details and all the necessary elements - powers, romance, a mysterious Agent, magic... but all with twists to make it feel refreshing and new. And under it, there’s a heart-warming thread of the story of a person who’s always been an outsider finding out who they are, and that they can be themselves and still not be alone. I enjoy the vampire/supernatural genre, but so often it is so dark and emotionally savaging. I highly suggest Fred as the antidote.
LilyElementBookReviews More than 1 year ago
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant is book one in the Fred, the Vampire Accountant series. I grabbed this one after seeing a review by Melanie at HotListens. Fred is such a different take on vampires that I'm used to. He's not a vicious killer or a swoon-worthy hero with fangs. He's exactly what you'd picture if you asked yourself what a vampire accountant looked like. He wears a sweater vest, and glasses and really doesn't like confrontation. This novel is full of short stories about Fred, and I enjoyed each story more than I expected, mainly due to the humor mixed in. We get a good dose of other paranormal beings throughout the stories from werewolves to necromancers. We even see Fred get a girlfriend which fit the story well. Fred, the Vampire Accountant was a really different take on vampires and I appreciated the originality and the humor. If you're a fan of vampires or want to try something different from the norm you should pick this book up! The Narrator: This was my first audiobook narrated by Kirby Heyborne and I thought he did a wonderful job. I found he suited Fred's character really well and it was easy to get sucked into the story.
dhaupt More than 1 year ago
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred the Vampire Accountant. By Drew Hayes Hayes’ first in his fantastic UF Fred the Vampire stories is sort of a group of undead coming of age tales told through a collection of short story, journal type stories with the irrepressible Fred at the dialogue wheel. His storyline is amazingly unique in a culture where UF is becoming the norm and his characters, main and bit parts alike rock the read. But It’s definitely his imaginative content and his storytelling ability that makes this a keeper shelf, bring it out often for a re-read, read! The narration by Kirby Heyborne is FANTASTIC! He nails every character, spooky, ordinary or mild-mannered to a tee. His inflections and ability to go flawlessly from mousey to deep voice is incredible. The audible version is definitely the way to enjoy the 360º total enjoyment of this incredible book. Frederick Frankford Fletcher is just as uninteresting now as a newly turned vampire as he was while living. With no friends and a seemingly long lonely future ahead of him and with only his acumen as an accountant going for him he decides to open his own accounting firm because he needs something to do with all those long boring hours in the night and blood isn’t free to a vampire who can’t stomach latching on his own canines to a victim. Then he decides to attend his high school reunion where he reconnects with Crystal Jenkins, a former, fellow misfit who’s blossomed into a beautiful woman. When a band of werewolves take his former classmates hostage he’s surprised to learn that Crystal is an operative in a secret government agency that deals with paranormal crimes and is prepared to kick some were-butt. And thus begins the uninteresting and unadventurous tales of Fred the Vampire Accountant.
Drewano More than 1 year ago
A fun tale about Fred the boring vampire accountant is anything but. Mild mannered Fred finds himself caught up in adventure after adventure which he and his friends escape allowing himself to learn more about himself, his friends and his own undead condition. The characters are great and his is a fun read sure to make even the coldest of undead hearts feel a bit warmer.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
SWier More than 1 year ago
Oh Fred, Fred, Fred. This book was just downright awesome. Having read Drew's work before, I was eager to enjoy more of his smart wit and clever tales. And Fred doesn't disappoint! This story is a fresh take on vampire lore, proving that not everyone who get bitten turns into a sexy, irresistible, handsome, powerful, successful...oh, you get the picture. Fred the vampire is not even close to any of those things, and yet still manages to find a little excitement amidst an otherwise ho-hum existence. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and eagerly await the sequel! Content: Some strong language and casual drug use.