Read an Excerpt
Thinking on Purpose
Creating the Life of Your Dreams Through Constructive, Disciplined Thinking
By Neil Paton Balboa Press
Copyright © 2014 Neil Paton
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-2390-3
CHAPTER 1
On Your Mark ...
Setting the stage for sustainable success.
"Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction." Brian Tracy
One of the most important factors in predicting success with this program is thinking of it not as a short term, quick fix, but rather as a permanent lifestyle change, while if sustained over a prolonged period, will create new habits that'll squarely place you on the road to outstanding success. It's a marathon, and not a sprint.
Along with this thinking comes the need to prepare in advance for a variety of things that you'll need on your journey.
The first is to schedule time on a daily basis for you to begin to work through the exercises and build some new thinking habits. First thing each morning is recommended, early enough so as to not interfere with other personal or family commitments. I've found that weekdays are generally adequate, and I'd suggest setting aside 20 – 30 minutes a day.
Next, ensure that in order to do that, you have a comfortable spot where you can sit and relax with enough light for reading, in a quiet area so that you'll not interrupt others, or be interrupted. Many parts of the program require you to read out loud so you'll want to make sure that both the time and the area supports this activity.
You should purchase both an alarm clock and a small kitchen timer. The alarm is needed to make sure that you conclude your session in a timely manner. The timer is used to time specific exercises in the meditation section of the program. You'll also need some additional supplies that are listed below that will be used to throughout the program in creating your success scrapbook. Two weeks have been allocated to completing this section so please mark your calendar and get started.
Getting Started Checklist
_________ Schedule 30 minutes of quiet time each weekday AM.
_________ Select a comfortable chair.
_________ Ensure adequate lighting.
_________ Make sure it is a quiet area.
_________ Purchase a basic kitchen timer.
_________ Purchase a small portable alarm clock.
_________ Make the area relaxing and inviting.
_________ Purchase a 3 hole punch, scissors and a glue stick.
_________ Purchase a high quality ½" 3 ring binder.
_________ Purchase 12 dividers and some heavy stock paper.
_________ Purchase plenty of lined paper.
_________ If you don't already have some method of booking meetings and marking checkpoints in a calendar, please add this to the list as well.
Congratulations ...
You've Successfully Completed of Step 1 of 12.
CHAPTER 2
Get Set ...
Using meditation to quiet your mind.
"Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions." Albert Einstein
One of the first things that's important to recognize is that every one of us is at a significantly different level of awareness and understanding in regard to thought management skills.
Some are well on their way, positive, open minded and ready to get started. Others may be struggling, not so optimistic, and not at all ready to begin moving forward with building a new life.
With that in mind, I quickly recognized the need to build a foundation for growth that include some basic thought training through the introduction of some basic meditation.
With just a bit of work with the fundamentals of meditation, I've found that people become much better at learning how to manage their day to day thoughts, recognizing that they do in fact have power over them, can stand up to the destructive ones if needed, and can make room for the development of new and more productive thoughts.
Without this basic understanding of what thoughts are, the impact they can have on our emotions, and the consequences they can ultimately have on our lives, it's extremely difficult to begin to develop and execute the skills associated with building the life of our dreams.
One of the better books on the market that I'd recommend for getting started is "8 Minute Meditation" by Victor Davich.
It's a quick read, but one that gives you some basic meditation techniques for simple 8 minute periods over an 8 week period. As the weeks progress, you'll find a gradual broadening in the exercises which results in slow, steady progress in the development of the fundamentals and gives you an better appreciation for the impact that our thinking can have in our lives.
In reading it, I'd hope you begin to develop an understanding of what thought itself is, the influence it has on shaping your environment, and the impact it ultimately has in creating your future.
With some practice, you'll begin to learn detachment skills that'll allow you to completely walk away from less constructive thinking, on demand, regardless of your environment. Destructive thinking brings nothing good into your life, and it can only be stopped through learning to ruthlessly and systematically take out these negative, destructive thoughts by substituting them with constructive, positive ones. Ones better aligned with helping you create the future you deserve. Think of it as weeding. If you fail to recognize them for what they are – destructive and unrealistic – and don't rip them out by the roots, they'll continue to grow and take over the garden of your mind.
There are a variety of different ways to practice the skill of letting go of thoughts on demand.
One is to imagine your thoughts simply as being clouds in the sky and as they come into your consciousness, simply observe them as they make their way across the sky without giving them any emotional attention whatsoever. Just let them go and watch them float over you eventually drifting out of sight.
Another is to think of your thoughts as a series of different parachutes filling with air behind you and holding you back from living the life you deserve. By simply pulling on the quick release pin of an imaginary cable connecting you to each one of the thoughts, you release yourself completely and can feel yourself shoot forward. Relax and enjoy the feeling of empowerment as you choose detachment over attachment and observe the chutes simply falling to the ground behind you, one after the other.
You may also want to think about deep breathing throughout the meditation exercises so that you not only benefit from clearing your mind, but at the same time benefit from relieving some of the tension in your body which will put you in a better position to make room for some of the positive, constructive thought programming outlined in the steps ahead.
Please set aside adequate time and stick to the full recommended eight weeks when working through the exercises as it will serve you well in laying a solid foundation for all of the modules ahead. A full eight weeks have been allocated to completing this section. Please mark your calendar appropriately, and get started.
Meditation Checklist
_________ Buy the 8 Minute Meditation by Victor Davich.
_________ Read a chapter each week and as you work through each chapter, record your observations in the notes section at the end of the chapter. Resist the desire to read on until you have purchased and read through each of the eight chapters of this powerful little book.
1 ___________________________________________________________
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2 ___________________________________________________________
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3 ___________________________________________________________
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4 ___________________________________________________________
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5 ___________________________________________________________
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6 ___________________________________________________________
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7 ___________________________________________________________
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8 ___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
Congratulations ...
You've Successfully Completed of Step 2 of 12.
CHAPTER 3
Go ...
Identify the "Themes", or areas of life, in order to help you define specifically what's important to you.
"I have learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." Henry David Thoreau
Now that you've set the stage and learned a bit about basic thought management skills through some basic meditation techniques, the next important step is to determine your Values, or in other words, what's important and meaningful to you personally.
Think of your values as a framework of spheres in which you interact with simultaneously as you live your life and interact with others. Some simple theme examples might include your family, your health, your fitness, your career, your community, your spirituality, and your friendships. Choosing ones that are important to you is a critical step in order to ensure that your life is full and balanced.
Once these have been established, they will serve as the foundation on which you build on through further definition in the exercises ahead.
It's probably worth stopping here for a minute to talk about the word success, and discuss what it means in general terms, and more importantly what it might mean to each of us.
One of the best definitions of that I've ever heard was provided by the late Earl Nightingale. He said that "Success is the Progressive Realization of a Worthy ideal". Let's take that apart for a minute. "Progressive" is a gradual progress in a defined direction and "Realization of a worthy ideal" is the achievement of goals that are considered to be worthy, which can only be determined through defining what's important to you. It's not a stretch to therefore conclude that success is as individual as each one of us and is something that requires us determining worthy ideals in which to strive toward.
As human beings, in order to achieve an appropriate, healthy balance in life, it's important to avoid being too heavily weighted in any one area or theme, at the expense of another. An example of that might be an individual who is solely focused on his or her career with little thought or regard to family. Or an individual who's focused solely on fitness with little thought or regard to friendships or a career. Neither example illustrates the healthy balance that we should be striving toward, which is fundamental in helping people to reach their ultimate potential in every aspect of their lives.
At this point, some further reading to help you on this journey can be found in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. I would especially direct your attention to Habit 2 – Begin with the end in mind thinking.
It is suggested that you consider establishing a half a dozen or so themes in order to have a balanced, well rounded framework to build your success upon.
Two weeks have been allocated to completing this section so please mark your calendar appropriately, and get started.
Sample Visualization Themes
Family
Friends
Career
Nutrition
Fitness
Community
Spirit
Theme Template
Theme ___________________________________________
Theme ___________________________________________
Theme ___________________________________________
Theme ___________________________________________
Theme ___________________________________________
Theme ___________________________________________
Theme ___________________________________________
Congratulations ...
You've Successfully Completed of Step 3 of 12.
CHAPTER 4
What Does Success Mean To You ...
Establish the "Values" within each of your themes by using "begin with the end in mind" thinking.
"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want." Ben Stein
In order to complete this exercise, you'll need to dedicate a substantial amount of time to take a journey down the road on each of the themes you've identified in the previous section.
At the end of the chapter, you will find journal pages that should help in capturing your key thoughts as you work through this process.
Start by selecting one of the themes from the prior section and begin the exercise by fast forwarding in your mind through towards the end of your life. Next, ask yourself to visualize some particular individuals that you either know or could imagine delivering eulogies at your funeral ... remembering in detail the many ways in which you would want to have been remembered.
Start with your immediate family as it's probably one of the ones closest to you and therefore easy to get you started. Choose first a spouse or partner, if you have one, and once you have captured all of the ways in which you would have wanted them to remember you, move on to do the same with any children you may have. Next, extend the exercise to your parents and siblings. From here, feel free to extend your thoughts to any additional family members.
Depending on the depth of the relationship that you enjoy with members of your extended family, continue the process until you have heard from, and captured on paper, all of the family relationships that are important to you.
This is your opportunity to create your destiny through the feedback of those you select, building a framework for the life that you choose to begin living. You have a clean slate on which to create the "ideal" impact that you "had" on those around you.
Be patient with this exercise, as it's important to create the environment on the screen of your mind in as much detail as possible. Listen to what's being said, how it's being said, and capture in point form all of the key messages from your speakers. This is the raw material for the development of your mission statement which will be outlined in the steps ahead.
It's not a quick exercise, but one that's worth the effort. What you're likely to hear is the impact you had on others, the importance of the role you played in these relationships, how some of the little things made a big difference, and how important it was to others to know that you were always there. Take your time. Have some fun with it. Just keep filling pages with notes as your mind fully engages in the visualization exercises and vividly plays them out on the screen of your mind.
If you're working with family as your theme, and your daughter as the person you're visualizing, some examples might include the ways in which you were always there for, and supported her, how you consistently expressed your unconditional love, and how through that support and love, your relationship flourished and stood the test of time.
If you are working with career as your theme, and a close long time business associate is the person that you're thinking about, some examples might include your consistent positive outlook, your always giving more than expected, or your remarkable ability to make people around you feel special and appreciated.
Once you've completed your first theme, move on to each of the others, and repeat the exercise.
Don't limit your thinking to just environments as they exist today. Remember, this exercise is about creating environments that are meaningful to you through a lifetime perspective, well beyond your current frame of reference.
For example don't limit your career thoughts to opportunities within your current employer, but rather define the kind of work environment you enjoy, and imagine many others speaking about how you made a difference in their lives through the great contributions that you made throughout your working career.
Your ideal life may certainly have many more people in it than you know today. So feel free to draw on new characters based on the character traits that you admire, and listen to what they have to say. All of this collective feedback from people in all aspects of your past, present, and future will help you to identify what's truly meaningful and important, which is the foundation of defining meaningful values.
And it's the message that is delivered, in most cases, that is as important as the person delivering it.
When you're done, you should have notes from each theme, outlining the feedback you heard from each of the speakers that spoke about how they remembered you.
Once this has been done, summarize the key points into a page or two for each theme. Take whatever time you need in this section as it represents the cornerstone of the entire program. It's not unusual to require a number of months to complete this section in light of the amount of dedicated time that is required for all the themes and people that you've identified.
A word of caution is also probably appropriate at this point in that many of you may, in making your way through this portion of the program, uncover some very strong emotions as you visualize each of the speakers. This is to be expected, and should be recognized as a positive indication that you're on the right track. Through identifying and connecting with things that are clearly meaningful and important to you, you begin to recognize things that are critical to include in building the life of your dreams.
And keep in mind, that regardless of the personal struggles and challenges that you may have experienced up to this point in your life, this program is all about creating opportunities for a fresh start, moving forward, and defining a new life, your new life, specifically built to order ...
As this is one of the more significant sections of the program, twelve weeks have been allocated to complete the exercises. Feel free to allocate the weeks according to the number of themes that you have identified. For example, with 6 themes, that gives you two weeks per theme to complete the visualization exercises. Please mark your calendar appropriately and get started.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Thinking on Purpose by Neil Paton. Copyright © 2014 Neil Paton. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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