When in Doubt, Make Belief: An OCD-Inspired Approach to Living with Uncertainty
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When in Doubt, Make Belief: An OCD-Inspired Approach to Living with Uncertainty
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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781577319092 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | New World Library |
| Publication date: | 02/09/2011 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 224 |
| File size: | 549 KB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
When in Doubt, Make Belief
An OCD-Inspired Approach to Living With Uncertainty
By Jeff Bell
New World Library
Copyright © 2009 Jeff BellAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-57731-909-2
CHAPTER 1
With or Within Doubt?
Intellect-Based vs. Fear-Based Doubt
Dark and cold is the Shadow of Doubt, with the winds of fear whipping about
I can't recall just when I wrote these words — the start of some unfinished poem that looped in my head for many years — but I do know exactly where I was: deep in the recesses of a frigid blackness I would come to associate with uncertainty — the chronic, crushing variety that those of us with OCD know all too well.
This place, this Shadow of Doubt, is hardly the exclusive territory of OCD sufferers. I know from the many stories I've collected over the years that doubt casts a shadow across all kinds of life challenges, from issues of physical and mental health to those posed by the simple rigors of everyday living. I think it's safe to say that almost everyone has experienced, at some point or another, at least a glimpse of the darkness and a tinge of the chill that uncertainty can prompt.
That said, I also think that those of us who have battled severe OCD have an intimate knowledge of this shadow that few others can appreciate. We who have spent years lost in the darkness of doubt know what it's like to be utterly consumed by uncertainty, stripped of even the most basic human sensibilities that would offer us a way back to the light. This is why I want to introduce you to the OCD world and the view from its darkest corners. With the help of a handful of others who share my challenges, and a number of the world's top experts who make their livings studying and helping people like me, I hope to offer you a guided tour of the Shadow of Doubt, with an insider's perspective and an eye toward the trapdoors and fun-house-like distortions awaiting us at every turn.
But first, let me offer a few words about a key distinction we need to make when talking about doubt and the roles that it plays in our lives.
HEALTHY VS. UNHEALTHY DOUBT
Doubt, as I've come to understand it, can be broken down into two very disparate, well-defined categories: doubt based on intellect and doubt based on fear. Unfortunately, the latter can often disguise itself as the former, making the distinctions between the two important to understand.
Intellect-Based Doubt
Intellect-based doubt is what some might call "healthy doubt." It stems from our innate inquisitiveness and natural inclination to challenge the apparent, and it fuels our human curiosity and caution. It is based on reason, logic, and rational deduction. And it most definitely serves us well.
Consider some of the great scientists — Albert Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus, Charles Darwin; the great philosophers — Socrates, Plato, René Descartes, Saint Augustine; and the great revolutionaries — Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. All employed their intellect-based doubt to challenge the accepted but flawed paradigms of their time, and all changed the world in very positive ways.
And what about the great spiritual believers — those individuals who have shaped our religious and spiritual frameworks? They too, I would argue, were some of the greatest doubters who ever lived. Historian Jennifer Michael Hecht does a masterful job of making sense of this paradox in her bestseller Doubt: A History, tracing a religious and philosophical evolution and showing how each generation's doubt becomes the next generation's certainty.
Most of us are not actively seeking to challenge paradigms or change the world. We are, however, trying to navigate through life; and for that task, we too need to draw on our intellect-based doubt and act with it, again and again.
Fear-Based Doubt
I happen to be sitting in a Starbucks in New York City at this moment, watching a man outside my window contemplating the wisdom of crossing Park Avenue against the flashing "Don't Walk" light, as the woman in front of him has just done. He takes a step off the curb, only to hesitate and return to the sidewalk. Clearly, his intellect-based doubt has left him questioning his ability to cross the four lanes of traffic without getting run over.
In this case, reason, logic, and rational deduction have served this pedestrian well. But what if my guy on the street corner (I'll call him Fred) decides he should never cross Park Avenue? Maybe he recalls a recent news story about a pedestrian killed in a Manhattan crosswalk and worries that he'll be next. He thinks back on the countless times he has crossed this street. He's never been hit. He's never seen anyone else get hit. But still Fred stands there, frozen by fear. What if he gets crushed by a speeding car? What if he's killed? Who will take care of his family? A knot grows in his stomach. He feels his heart race.
Is this intellect-based doubt that's keeping Fred on the corner?
No. This, I would venture to say, is an "unhealthy" form of doubt we all battle to some degree — namely, fear-based doubt, or uncertainty based not on reason, logic, and rational deduction but rather on emotional, black-and-white, and catastrophic thinking. Fred knows at some intellectual level that the odds of his getting hit crossing Park Avenue with the light are infinitesimal. Yet he is allowing his fear to suggest that because someone has been killed in this fashion, he could — and likely, would — be as well; and that prospect is unacceptable.
Fortunately, as I continue to ponder all this, the "Walk" light turns green for Fred, and he makes his way safely across Park Avenue and out of my view. From here, I imagine, he will continue using his intellect-based doubt to navigate his way across one Manhattan street after another to wherever it is he's going.
The Fuzzy Lines of the Shadow
Fred chose to cross the street, acting with doubt. Had he opted not to, he might have instead crossed a threshold from intellect-to fear-based doubt, from a New York street corner to the Shadow of Doubt. Maybe he would have stayed in the Shadow only for the duration of a traffic-light cycle, coming to his senses quickly and getting on with his life. But maybe he would have remained stuck within doubt, like so many of the people I'll introduce you to in the pages ahead. And maybe Fred would have been none the wiser about why he made the choices he did.
The truth is, there are no gates at the edge of the Shadow, no clear signs to welcome us or let us know when we're leaving. Guide-posts would be very helpful, indeed. But they don't exist. Instead, most of us have to figure out for ourselves when we have slipped into the realm of fear-based doubt, and that's often no easy task. As I warned, the same fear-based doubt that can distort our thinking is also quite adept at masquerading as intellect-based doubt.
So how then do we know when our doubts are healthy and deserve our attention? How do we know when they are fear-based and distorting our thinking? Allow me to take a stab at answering those questions with a series of other questions I've learned to ask.
• Does this doubt evoke far more anxiety than either curiosity or prudent caution?
• Does this doubt pose a series of increasingly distressing "what if" questions?
• Does this doubt stem from logic-defying and/or black-and-white assumptions?
• Does this doubt prompt a strong urge to act — or avoid acting — in a fashion others might perceive as excessive, in order to reduce the anxiety it creates?
And, last but certainly not least:
• Would you be embarrassed or frightened to explain your "what if" questions to a police officer or work supervisor?
If you answer Yes to these five questions, the chances are pretty good that your vantage point is somewhere within the Shadow of Doubt. That, at least, has been my experience, again and again — with one critical caveat, which I'll explain shortly. First, though, let's plop Fred back on the corner as he ponders whether he has enough time to cross the street against the flashing "Don't Walk" light, and see if we can answer my five questions for him.
Q: Does this doubt evoke far more anxiety than either curiosity or prudent caution?
A: Probably not. Fred's reasonable uncertainty may make him somewhat anxious, but probably not more anxious than cautious.
Q: Does this doubt pose a series of increasingly distressing "what if" questions?
A: Not necessarily. Although Fred may be concerned that he might not make it across the street in time, that doesn't mean he necessarily starts pondering his imminent death and its consequences. He may instead wonder if he'll hold up traffic, get stuck on the center divider, or have to dash back to the curb.
Q: Does this doubt stem from logic-defying and/or black-and-white assumptions?
A: No. Fred's reasoning is based on fairly logical assumptions about how long he has to cross the street and whether he might be hit — a serious but not certain possibility.
Q: Does this doubt prompt a strong urge to act — or avoid acting — in a fashion others might see as excessive, in order to reduce the anxiety it creates?
A: No. Fred's doubt prompts him to step back to the curb (and avoid crossing the street), an action unlikely to be seen as excessive by anyone around him.
Q: Would Fred be embarrassed or frightened to explain his "what if" questions to a police officer or work supervisor?
A: I wouldn't think so. I imagine a cop would probably tell him it was wise to consider his timing.
If we look strictly at my screening criteria, then, we can rule out fear-based doubt as the source of Fred's concern and instead credit Fred with using good judgment and acting with doubt. Attaboy, Fred!
But now, how about my hypothetical Fred, the one paralyzed by a fear of getting run over, even crossing with the light, because he's read about someone who was hit? We'll ask the same five questions:
Q: Does this doubt evoke far more anxiety than either curiosity or prudent caution?
A: Yes. Fred feels his heart racing and his gut tightening as he ponders his demise, even before he considers any prudent alternative actions.
Q: Does this doubt pose a series of increasingly distressing "what if" questions?
A: Yes. Fred quickly moves from What if I get hit? to What if I die? to What if I'm not around to take care of my family and they can't get by without me?
Q: Does this doubt stem from logic-defying and/or black-and-white assumptions?
A: Yes. Fred reasons that because someone else died in a freak accident while crossing a New York street legally, he likely will too. His assumptions are both illogical and black-and-white.
Q: Does this doubt prompt a strong urge to act — or avoid acting — in a fashion others might see as excessive, in order to reduce the anxiety it creates?
A: Yes. Fred's doubt prompts a strong urge to avoid crossing the street, not just on the "Don't Walk" light, but ever. Excessive? Yes!
Q: Would Fred be embarrassed or frightened to explain his "what if" questions to a police officer or work supervisor?
A: Yes. I'm fairly certain my imaginary friend would feel pretty silly explaining to a cop that he's afraid he won't ever survive crossing the street, even with the light.
Five for five. Hypothetical Fred, we can safely conclude, is a victim of fear-based doubt; he is indeed trapped within the Shadow of Doubt. Sorry, big guy.
Back now to that little caveat I put on my screening questions and their ability to ferret out fear-based doubt. They work. They really do. I've employed them countless times to help others see the distortions of their unhealthy "what if" questions. But, truth be told, I'm afraid that when attempting to use these questions (or any others) to help me identify my own fear-based doubt, I've often found them, well, worthless.
As Albert Einstein is said to have remarked, "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them," and there's the rub. Trying to recognize the distortions of fear-based doubt while under the control of fear-based doubt is next to impossible. This is the challenge facing those of us who have found ourselves lost in the Shadow of Doubt, where logic and reason are as scarce as shade trees in a desert.
And here's one more twist: fear, whatever its source, generates a real physiological response by which we gauge risk. Whether prompted by the sudden appearance of a man pointing a gun at you or some ridiculous "what if" question in your head, the feeling is identical. So, as bestselling author David Burns likes to point out, "emotional reasoning" can lead to all kinds of confusion and trouble. It works like this: the thought of crossing the street makes me feel very anxious, therefore the risk, I reason, must be very real.
The more I've learned to manage my OCD, the more I've been able to use my screening questions to help me recognize when I'm stuck in Doubt. They have served me well in this sense, and I share them with you as a tool for sorting out what's what in the world of doubt. But the real process of making belief, by necessity, transcends mere logic, a faculty that I think you'll soon understand is often not available to those of us with the doubting disease.
KEY POINTS
• Almost everyone faces two distinct forms of doubt:
* Intellect-based (or healthy) doubt.
* Fear-based (or unhealthy) doubt.
• Intellect-based doubt can be characterized as follows:
* It's based on reason, logic, and rational deduction.
* It tends to prompt curiosity and/or caution.
* It leads us to act with doubt in a constructive way.
• Fear-based doubt can be characterized as follows:
* It's based on illogical and/or black-and-white assumptions.
* It tends to spike our anxiety.
* It leads to increasingly distressing "what if" questions.
* It compels us to act — or avoid acting — in a fashion others might find excessive in order to reduce the anxiety it creates.
* It ultimately leaves us stuck within doubt.
• Recognizing fear-based doubt can be difficult because:
* It often masks itself as intellect-based doubt.
* Emotional reasoning gives us false evidence that the anxiety stemming from our fear-based doubts is warranted: "I feel anxious, therefore the source of my anxiety must be a legitimate concern."
CHAPTER 2Octopuses Chewing Doubt-nuts
An Introduction to OCD
Many years ago, when I was writing my first book and my daughters were still too young to understand the nature of Daddy's challenges, they came up with their own definition for the "OCD" acronym they'd seen on the pages scattered across my desk: "Octopuses Chewing Doughnuts."
Little did they know what a precious gift they'd given me with their fertile imaginations. Little did I know how much I would draw on that particular image to understand the mechanics of OCD and the nature of those tricky creatures who troll the Shadow of Doubt. Although somewhere along the way doughnuts morphed into doubtnuts, my daughters' original OCD definition remains my favorite to this day. Of course, to fully understand the "octopuses," the "doubtnuts," and the "chewing" process, we may need some slightly more scientific definitions.
OCD BASICS
Numerous terrific books have been written about this disorder known as the "doubting disease," many of which I will point you toward in the pages ahead. Because the intent of this book is to explore only those aspects of OCD that offer insight into the mechanics and impacts of fear-based doubt, I will limit my overview of OCD here to a quick one and encourage you to focus on those themes common to both OCD and everyday, fear-based doubt — namely, emotion-driven, black-and-white, often catastrophic thinking rooted in the past and future and accompanied by compelling urges to alleviate discomfort.
Clinically speaking, obsessive compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder marked by intrusive, unwanted thoughts and repeated actions or rituals aimed at dislodging these thoughts. It is believed to affect at least one in every one hundred adults, and men and women in roughly equal measure. The disorder can set in at any point from preschool to adulthood, and far too often it goes unrecognized. In fact, studies suggest it takes people with OCD an average of fourteen to seventeen years (from the time their OCD begins) to get the treatment they need. Although OCD can be both chronic and debilitating, it is also highly treatable.
Most scientists believe the roots of OCD are biochemical and involve communication problems between distinct parts of the brain, specifically the orbital cortex and the basal ganglia. Studies also suggest that the neurotransmitter serotonin plays a key role in the communication breakdown. Beyond that, honestly, I get lost in all the mumbo jumbo of unpronounceable neurological terms and complex physiological explanations. I do know that the experts all agree on one thing: the OCD brain is different from the non-OCD brain, both structurally and functionally. And, thanks to recent advances in brain imaging, they can now effectively prove that theory.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from When in Doubt, Make Belief by Jeff Bell. Copyright © 2009 Jeff Bell. Excerpted by permission of New World Library.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Contents
Foreword by Michael A. Jenike, MD,Introduction,
PART ONE: IN (THE SHADOW OF) DOUBT,
1 With or Within Doubt?: Intellect-Based vs. Fear-Based Doubt,
2 Octopuses Chewing Doubt-nuts: An Introduction to OCD,
3 Trapdoors: False Exits When Stuck in Doubt,
PART TWO: MAKING BELIEF (TEN STEPS OUT WHEN STUCK IN DOUBT),
4 Reverence: First Principle of Making Belief,
5 Resolve: Second Principle of Making Belief,
6 Investment: Third Principle of Making Belief,
7 Surrender: Fourth Principle of Making Belief,
PART THREE: CHOSSING GREATER GOOD,
8 Better Than "Good": The Greater Good Perspective Shift,
9 Believers: Profiles of Belief in Action,
Afterword,
The Ten Steps Out When Stuck in Doubt,
Acknowledgments,
Notes,
Index,
About the Author,