With the Death of a Son

by Jo Antley

Overview

With the Death of a Son is a sequel, sharing the tragic conclusion to the youngest of the four. This autobiography gives hope, comfort, and guidance to others grieving a life-wrenching loss. The events in this true story take place in the deep South, in the states of Florida, Georgia, and Alabama.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781468592528
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	02/02/2010
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	1
File size:	8 MB

About the Author

Jo Antley, known in the ministry as Sis. Jo, was the author of Alone Outside the Walls, a true account of left alone to raise four children while her husband was in prison. How her children overcame and succeeded in life are featured in that book.

With the Death of a Son is a sequel, sharing the tragic conclusion to the youngest of the four. This autobiography gives hope, comfort, and guidance to others grieving a life-wrenching loss. The events in this true story take place in the deep South, in the states of Florida, Georgia, and Alabama.

Sis. Jo, a single Mom, worked, raised her children in the faith, spent one full year at Indian River Jr. College, and ten part-time years at Bible College. From that, in 19994, she founded Beacon Ministries, Inc., a prison ministry. She counsels, writes Bible studies, devotionals, and verse commentaries on Proverbs. This ministry is faith supported and reaches all 50 states.

Beacon Ministries, Inc.

P.O. Box 363

Sebring, FL. 33871-0363

Read an Excerpt

WITH THE DEATH OF A SON

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By Jo Antley

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Jo Antley
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-8599-2

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Chapter One

"THE STORM RAGES"

"... Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother's house: And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; ... Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped ..." [Job 1:18-20]

The most devastating and unforgettable thing in this life, is the message of death, when and how it comes.

For Job, it was a servant coming to him with the news that all seven of his sons were dead. For me it was a phone call at 12:24, Saturday afternoon, September 16, 2006, from my middle son, Johnny. "Mama", he said, "Davey committed suicide. He is deceased. You need to come." Knowing it would be hard for me to believe, he added, "Here's an officer."

An officer came on the line, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but what your son said is true."

The question is, how are we going to handle this message when it comes?

We can blame God; become angry and take it out on God; become embittered and curse God; turn to the false gods of alcohol and drugs; OR, we can lean on Jesus right now when we need Him most; trust His judgment; turn to His Word for comfort, direction, and strength; and call on our Christian family to pray for us at a time when we are too hurt and confused to pray as we ought.

Job: arose, and mourned in his grief as their custom was in his day - being: he tore his outer garment; and shaved his head. Then he fell down upon the ground, and worshipped. In other words, he fell down prostrate [flat], humbly beseeched and did reverence unto the God of heaven and earth.

Me: stunned, I replied some acknowledgment and hung up.

Something inside of me wanted to scream "NOOOOOOoo!! at the top of my lungs. However, God's still small voice in the back of my mind said, "God's Word has come to pass!"

My mind then went back 9 years earlier to September 1997, before Davey was released from prison that December, when the Lord gave me a prophetic dream that abruptly awoke me, and left me sobbing and horrified.

The dream went: "Davey was living in Georgia near his brother, Johnny. The phone rang and Johnny was on the other end saying, 'Mama, Davey is dead.'" In my sleep, I experienced all the shock, the grief, the horror, and the realization that I would never see Davey again, nor would our family ever be all-together again. Things would never be the same on this earth again!!

The same morning of my dream, I was scheduled to visit Davey at the prison. I was so upset by how utterly real the dream was, that I couldn't drive up there. My middle daughter, Taragayle, drove us up in my car that day, while I sat there distraught; crying and praying, 'Lord, I need a promise!!' This He gave me and I penned the words to the following song:

"I'm Gonna Pick This Body Up Someday".

1. "I've heard so many people say, we're gonna lay this body down. But, praise the Lord, the work's not done with the body in the ground! As Jesus in the tomb that day, with His grave clothes laid away; I'm gonna pick this body up again, and shout 'Glory!' all the way."

Chorus: "I'm gonna pick this body up someday when I hear that trumpet sound. I'm gonna shed this mortal coat of clay for an immortal robe and crown. When the dead in Christ shall rise; and we all meet in the skies; I'm gonna pick this body up someday in the twinkling of an eye."

2. "As children of the day, we should watch and pray, Not sorrow as others do. For we've got a hope in Jesus, that the world just can't see through. As Jesus rose up from the grave, this body, too, will rise. He's gonna shout my name from glory, and I'll leave thru the Eastern skies."

I fought back tears and wiped a few away the whole time we were with Davey that day, and I hugged him as if it was the last time I would ever see him alive. He probably wondered what my problem was. I never told him about that dream.

However, before he even left prison, I tried to find him a job in Florida, to keep him from moving to Georgia in the first place. The Lord closed all doors for him any where else, and widely opened them in Waycross, Georgia.

For nine years after he got there, I tried to get him to move out of Georgia and back into Florida. He wanted to come back to Florida, but something always seemed to stand in his way.

There is no greater storm in life than for a parent to lose a precious son or daughter. A part of that parent dies with the child, because the child is a part of the parent. My heart especially goes out to those who have lost more than one, especially at the same time.

My heart was wrenched with the loss of my Davey. It was only because of Jesus that I made it through. God help the people who face such a loss without the Lord. They have no comforter, because Jesus is the God of all comfort. [II Corinthians 1:3] They have no hope, because faith in Jesus is the substance of things hoped for. [Hebrews 11:1] They have no peace; for Jesus is the Prince of peace. [Isaiah 9:6]

I know I will see my Davey again and spend all eternity with him where there is no more pain, no more death, and all our tears shall be wiped away. [Revelation 21:4] "... God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me." [Psalm 49:15]

God says in His Word: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." [Psalm 116:15] Who is a saint? In the Hebrew of the Old Testament, it means: "to pronounce clean, purify, sanctify." In the Greek of the New Testament, it means: "blameless, consecrated." Anyone and everyone who has made Jesus the Lord of their lives is a saint of God. All who have repented of their sins, and been born again by the Spirit of the living God, is a saint of God, because we are pronounced clean, sanctified, and consecrated by the precious blood of Jesus. That's us: the redeemed! Not the perfect, but the forgiven.

The view in the valley is different from the view on the mountain top. The Lord sees from a different perspective than we do in the midst of the storm of death. We see the loss. He sees the gain. The Bible declares: "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain ... to be with Christ is far better." [Philippians 1:21, 23] We feel the pain. He feels the joy. We see them as going and gone. Jesus sees them as coming - they're here!

It's just a matter of "PERSPECTIVE", to paraphrase Henry van Dyke's poem:

"I am standing at the seashore. A ship at my side starts across the ocean blue. I stand and watch her until she reaches where the sea and sky meet each other ... And just when one at my side says, "she is gone--!" there are others watching her coming, and shout: "Here she comes!" And that is Dying."

Three days before his death, Davey had decided to move back to Florida; and had gone to Waycross to take care of business and pack a few more things. He called me around 1:00 p.m. on Friday, the day before his death, and said, "Hey, Mama. Everything has been taken care of. I've filled the car with gas and I'm fixin' to leave on my way back down. I was gonna go to Dothan and visit a friend first; but I changed my mind. I'm just headin' straight down."

"I'm just headin' straight down" he said. Those were the last words I ever heard him say, apart from, "I love you, Mama."

When Job received his dreadful news, he did two things: 1. He mourned. 2. He worshipped.

I'm not sure how closely to Job's reaction of worship I came; however, as I sat there in shock and disbelief, I thanked the Lord through my tears for allowing me to see, and hug, and kiss my youngest son one more time before he left this world. I also thanked Him for giving Davey to me for nine whole years after that prophetic dream. Most of all, I thanked the Lord for saving his soul.

Storms never come into our lives to destroy us, but to draw us closer to Jesus; to build our faith into a deeper, more precious faith; to bring us to our knees and remove the dross - the mediocre, the apathy. We may be tossed, tattered, reeling to and fro, and brought to our wits end. However, He doesn't leave us there.

"For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof. They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble. They reel to and fro, and stagger ... and are at their wit's end.

Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still ... so he bringeth them unto their desired haven." [Psalm 107:25-30]

The Lord promises to be near us when we are broken hearted and crushed. "The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite [crushed] spirit." [Psalm 34:18]

Yes, I gave my precious son back to Jesus. I had no choice. He belonged to Jesus first of all. The Lord only entrusted him into my life for a few short years.

The Lord God of heaven and earth, our Abba Father, by His own choice, willingly gave His precious Son, Jesus, to die on an old rugged cross for our sins. He gave us His Son for 33 and a half years, to give us a perfect image of Himself, so that we might know His giving, unselfish, unconditional love.

God knows the pain of having a son die a horrible, painful, bloody death. He watched Jesus be misunderstood, unappreciated, falsely accused, laughed at, lied about, manhandled, beaten, disrobed, and slain in public! He watched Jesus' blood leave His body - that precious blood that would wash away my sins!

He watched as they falsely accused, laughed at, lied about, beat and stabbed my son to death! As Taragayle and I sadly studied him lying on his gurney, she took close-up pictures of his face, and we have since studied them. The indentation on his right temple is obvious, as well as the crook in his nose that had always been straight. The right side of his mouth was bruised as well as his left eye.

Sweet, sinless Jesus, had power to stop His own death. Had He saved His own life, though, He wouldn't have saved ours, and Davey would not have entered into His glorious presence, the moment he expelled his last breath.

Yes, God watched my son's blood violently pump forth and drain from his body, too, while the good-ole-boys declared suicide and ordered the scene cleaned up shortly thereafter. It was absolutely inhuman for them to knock on Johnny's door, tell him in one breath that his younger brother just died - and with the next breath, that he had to go clean up his brother's blood and fat!

In a state of shock, Johnny was burdened to perform such a horrible task; a task that would leave lifelong emotional scars! How could anybody be that cruel and insensitive to do that to him? Imagine the nightmares he has endured!

They think they got away with murder! Many unsolved murder perpetrators think they got away with murder. The righteous Judge says, "... Vengeance is mine; I will repay ..." [Romans 12:19 and again in Hebrews 10:30] That's a promise! - a double promise! I claim that promise! Jesus has their number and He knows where to find them!

For that reason, I will, along with the Psalmist David, claim: "The LORD is my rock; and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; ...

... I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. The sorrows of death compassed me, ... In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears." [Psalm 18:2-6]

"... Thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance ..." [Ps. 32:7]

Since Davey and Johnny both lived about three hundred miles away from me, it was often months between times of being together. It was a God-thing that brought Davey to me just before he died.

It had been Memorial Day weekend back in May, since I had seen either of them. Both younger sons and their families had made the trip down from Georgia. Davey brought me a clothes dryer and rewired my home while he was here. That was to keep my main breaker from tripping at the drop of a hat. It hasn't tripped since. I don't think Davey ever understood how much that meant to me. Nor the dryer. Shelly-jo had given me a washer. Now I had both and no longer had to lug clothes to a Laundromat.

Johnny replaced the floor in my kitchen while Davey worked on the wiring. Jeffie helped Johnny move the refrigerator and place the heavy pieces of plywood on the floor.

My other four children live here in the local area: Shelly-jo, oldest daughter; Jeffie, oldest son; Taragayle, middle daughter; and Jodi, youngest daughter. Davey, my youngest son, was born between Johnny and Taragayle.

We came together that weekend for a cookout, swimming, fellowship, and of course, the work that was being done on my home. I planned to video tape us having fun. Somehow, that never happened with all the "busy-ness." If I had only known then, that this would be the last time we would all be together as a complete family, the camera would have been priority.

The next time we all came together, we were minus one, and we were there for his funeral.

Conclusion:

"Oh, that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest ... I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest." [Psalm 55:6,8]

WITH THE DEATH OF A SON, COMES PARALYZING SHOCK:

As I hung up the phone on that fateful Saturday afternoon, my mind kept spinning around the events of Davey's visit earlier that week. He had arrived Monday evening and we talked. I asked if he was hungry. He said, "No," that he hadn't eaten in three days and hadn't slept in two. He was distraught over the collapse of his marriage. We exchanged Bible Scriptures and tried to apply them to his situation. He said he needed to go for a walk. I explained that his bed was ready when he was, but Jodi had school and I had a doctor appointment in the morning. We hugged him goodnight and went to bed.

He was asleep when I left for the doctor the next morning. I returned around 9:30 and figured he would still be asleep, since he went to bed late. As I walked towards the door, I heard, "Mornin', Mama!" I looked up and was pleased and surprised to see him sitting on the patio. We talked and tried to devise a plan to get his life back on track while we took the dogs for their morning walk. He then went by himself to think and sort things out.

Around 12:30 p.m., we left for lunch. I told him I wanted to treat him to a nice steak dinner. He had had some sleep, and now I wanted to get him eating again. Davey loved his steak as much as I love mine. He could grill a steak as good as any restaurant I've ever dined in. On this visit, though, his mind was too cluttered to grill. So, I took him to where we could get one of the best. We each ordered a 12 oz. New York strip. While we waited, I ordered us a "bloomin' onion." He said, "I've never had a bloomin' onion before. How'd you get onto something like this? This is pretty good!"

"Your sister, Shelly-jo, introduced me several years ago and I got hooked!" I explained.

Our steak came. We ate little and talked much. Finally, we left. On our way to the car, he asked, "Is the hospital still there where I was born?"

"Yes," I answered, "but it's been sold. I don't know what they're gonna do with it."

"Well," he went on to explain, "My wife wanted to get pictures of it when we were here Memorial Day, but we didn't. I don't have a camera with me now."

"Well, let's just drive up and look at it anyway while you're here." I said. "They may be planning to tear it down; I really don't know."

We drove up to the old Walker Memorial Hospital. I parked under a shade tree. Still healing from hip surgery, I stayed behind. The weeds were tall beside the path he followed behind the building that held so many memories. I listened to the birds and watched the ripples on the lake.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from WITH THE DEATH OF A SON by Jo Antley Copyright © 2010 by Jo Antley. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

A. Comes Paralyzing Shock:....................7
B. Comes Functional Shock:....................13
C. Comes The Funeral:....................17
A. Come Regrets And Guilt....................21
B. Come Doubts....................25
C. Come Unusual Thoughts....................29
D. Come Memories....................33
E. Time Moves On While The Mind Stands Still....................35
F. Come Setbacks....................43
A. The Rainbow Appears And Healing Does Come....................47
B. A Memorial To My Precious Son....................53