I Only Roast the Ones I Love: Busting Balls Without Burning Bridges

by Jeffrey Ross

Overview

Jeffrey Ross is one of the world’s most foremost practitioners of insult comedy. Having escaped from his family’s kosher catering business, he spent years in the comedy circuit and mastered his craft of delivering hilarious and often offensive insults. Mixing silliness and sincerity, Ross explains the overall history of the roast and explains the art of delivering a stream of “festive abuse” while eliciting laughs. Taking readers on an entertaining journey through his own career, he shares roasts straight from the Friar’s Club and the ever popular Comedy Central television events and provides a narrative of his favorite roasts of friends and family, including:

Flava Flav: “You really are the ugliest man in America. I mean, how do you roast charcoal?” William Shatner: “Man, you have really let yourself boldly go. If Scotty tried to beam you up now you’ d break the f*n’ transporter.” Courtney Love: “Courtney Love, you’re like the girl next door…if you happen to live next to a Methadone clinic.”

Featuring tips on timing, what’s going too far, and dealing with hecklers, Ross shows readers how to channel their inner roastmaster—and emphasizes the all-important Friars’ Club motto: We only roast the ones we love.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781439164204
Publisher:	Gallery Books
Publication date:	09/15/2009
Sold by:	SIMON & SCHUSTER
Format:	eBook
Pages:	304
File size:	6 MB

About the Author

Jeffrey Ross is the current New York Friars’ Club Roastmaster General and was a roaster for Comedy Central’s Roast of Pamela Anderson in 2005. Ross has appeared on television shows, such as The Late Show with David Letterman, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and many others. He’s also a regular on The Opie and Anthony Show and has also appeared on HBO’s Six Feet Under and Showtime’s Weeds. In film, he has appeared in Stuck on You and The Aristocrats. His first hour-long Comedy Central special No Offense: Life from New Jersey aired August 2008. Jeffrey Ross, the meanest man in comedy and “one man verbal assault unit” (MTV), offers anecdotes and deconstructs the makings of a great roast—based on his own career as the Friars’ Club Roastmaster General. 21
JEFFREY ROSS is feared and revered for his appearances at celebrity roasts. In fact, making fun of people is a way of life for Jeffrey Ross. Called “an heir apparent to such old-school masters as Buddy Hackett and Rodney Dangerfield” by the New York Times, Ross has memorably and uproariously roasted many of America’s favorite stars. His first book, I Only Roast The Ones I Love: Busting Balls Without Burning Bridges will be released in September by Simon Spotlight Entertainment, a division of Simon & Schuster.
          Jeff also stars in a popular Comedy Central stand-up DVD  and CD, “Jeffrey Ross: No Offense – Live From New Jersey”, as well as an award-winning documentary he directed about his experience entertaining U.S. troops in Iraq titled, “Patriot Act: A Jeffrey Ross Home Movie.” Jeff divides his time between New York City, Los Angeles, and the road.

Read an Excerpt

We All Have an Inner Roastmaster

Our world is full of Roastmasters. Some of them are well known. But most of them are completely unknown. They live amongst us. They live inside of us. They are the part of us that occasionally says out loud what most people only dare think to themselves. The part of us that isn't afraid of severe consequences. The part of us that isn't afraid to die for a laugh. The part of us willing to take a punch from Courtney Love, if necessary.

It is the Roastmaster's belief that gracing someone you admire with unfiltered honesty is the highest form of respect you can pay them — especially when it's delivered in the form of a well-crafted joke.

Of course, not everyone has the guts to channel their inner Roastmaster. In fact, most people have the good sense NOT to insult people to their faces. Instead, they talk behind people's backs after they leave. They gossip. They whisper. They say mean things. They laugh at the weaknesses of others. This is just human nature. But a Roastmaster defies human nature. A Roastmaster goes for it. A Roastmaster tells it like it is. A Roastmaster says, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." A Roastmaster kills. Copyright © 2009 by Jeffrey Ross