Screwed: A Novel

by Eoin Colfer

Overview

The New York Times–bestselling author’s “comic thriller sends a hard-luck New Jersey club owner tumbling through a mad, mad world of assorted nuts” (Kirkus Reviews).

As a down-on-his-luck Irish bouncer at a seedy New Jersey bar, Daniel McEvoy succeeded in solving a bizarre string of murders—including that of the girl he loved—with the help of a motley crew of unlikely characters. But that wasn’t the end of his troubles. Now, after being politely asked at gunpoint to deliver a package for a local gangster who blames McEvoy for his mother’s death, he’s dodging traps and eluding corrupt cops while also trying to locate a missing aunt with a serious drinking problem. If he doesn’t develop one himself first . . .

“McEvoy’s nicely evoked mix of Irish fatalism, resigned violence, and hilarity would make any story a winner; the cast of witty, quirky supporting characters and the pleasingly twisted story line are a bonus. Recommended for readers who enjoy the gritty crime and humor of Elmore Leonard and Michael Van Rooy.” —Booklist

“Compared with that criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl, Dan McEvoy is a bungling idiot. But that’s essentially the appeal of Eoin Colfer’s first adult protagonist.” —The New York Times Book Review

“Entertaining . . . His terse, muscular prose makes even a car chase seem like a new idea.” —Kirkus Reviews

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781468307597
Publisher:	ABRAMS, Inc.
Publication date:	09/01/2022
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	370
Sales rank:	22,212
File size:	648 KB
Age Range:	18 Years

About the Author

Eoin Colfer is the New York Times bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series. Plugged, his first crime novel for adults, was shortlisted for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize.

Hometown:

Wexford Town, County Wexford, Republic of Ireland

Date of Birth:

May 14, 1965

Place of Birth:

Waterford City, County Waterford, Republic of Ireland

Education:

Bachelor of Education, 1986; Education Diploma, 1987

Website:

http://www.eoincolfer.com

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

" Dominated, driven, and fully animated by a refreshingly original voice . . . Great writing."—Lisa Scottoline, The Washington Post

" Incomparably clever and witty . . . Has a Quentin Tarantino-meets-Carl Hiaasen quality."—Los Angeles Times

" Lots of bloody fun." —The New York Times Book Review

"[The narrator's] nicely evoked mix of Irish fatalism, resigned violence, and hilarity would make any story a winner; the cast of witty, quirky supporting characters and the pleasingly twisted story line are a bonus." —Booklist

"Colfer’s work is entertaining and expertly judged. His terse, muscular prose makes even a car chase seem like a new idea, and his McEvoy is a durable raconteur." —Kirkus Review

"Colfer presents a second glorious episode (after Plugged) in the violent, hilarious, and just plain bizarre life of Irish army vet and Jersey casino owner Dan McEvoy….noir devotees with a twisted sense of humor will eat it up." —Library Journal

"Incredible imagination won’t suffice to solve this spectacular whodunit, a five-star story in the vein of Dave Barry that has more twists and turns than a California cloverleaf. Tell everyone you know to get SCREWED. Better still, buy a copy of it." —Bookreporter.com
 

Editorial Reviews

At one point in bestseller Colfer’s violent, cartoonish sequel to 2011’s Plugged, Dan McEvoy, owner of a sleazy bar in Cloister, N.J., reckons that Irish gangster Mike Madden leaving him alone is “about as likely as a hyena spitting out a hunk of red meat which is then eaten by a supermodel, which is not probable firstly because hyenas don’t ever not eat meat and supermodels hardly ever do, then there’s the obvious hygiene issue and thirdly there’s the geographical factor.” If this sort of rambling, stream-of-consciousness passage amuses you, then you should enjoy this crime novel, which follows McEvoy’s desperate efforts to stay alive. In addition to Madden, who promised to kill McEvoy “just as soon as mother passed away,” he must also survive abduction by some crooked cops who plan to torture him at a voyeur’s behest. Those who prefer their heroes to display realistic emotions and behave plausibly should look elsewhere. Agent: Sophie Hicks, Ed Victor Ltd. (U.K.). (May)

Publishers Weekly

Colfer presents a second glorious episode (after Plugged) in the violent, hilarious, and just plain bizarre life of Irish army vet and Jersey casino owner Dan McEvoy. McEvoy's life takes a turn for the worse one morning when his back-alley plastic surgeon friend Zeb calls with bad news. Their hold over small-time gangster Irish Mike is gone, and now Mike is keeping Zeb captive to force McEvoy to a meeting. Before the day is done, McEvoy is kidnapped by bent cops who threaten to kill him after featuring him in online porn, meets his step-grandmother, gets caught in the middle of an organized-crime power struggle, and discovers that his only partially sane near-girlfriend Sofia has brained his long-lost aunt with a hammer. These events are tied together with the sort of laughs brought on by the ridiculous, and augmented with inventive profanity and a sniper ninja for good measure. VERDICT While this salty novel is not the book to hand fans of Colfer's YA "Artemis Fowl" series, noir devotees with a twisted since of humor will eat it up.—Eric Norton, McMillan Memorial Lib., Wisconsin Rapids

Library Journal

This comic thriller sends a hard-luck New Jersey club owner tumbling through a mad, mad world of assorted nuts. When Dan McEvoy, who debuted in Colfer's Plugged (2011), awakens at the start of this second, often wacky installment, he's cozied up to Sofia Delano, who's on the lam from her abusive husband, Carmine. Bipolar, schizophrenic and heavily medicated, Sofia sometimes thinks Dan is Carmine. But she's beautiful and they've swooned over Amelie, so Dan stays by her side. He leaves her momentarily, though, when he's called to task by Mike Madden, the Irish boss of Cloisters, the New Jersey village where McEvoy runs a dumpy club called Slotz. Madden had assigned Dan and a friend to guard his mother, so when the mother dies after lightning strikes her ski pole on the slopes, they're in big trouble. But Madden says McEvoy can absolve himself by delivering a package of bearer bonds to a guy named Shea in SoHo. En route to Manhattan, McEvoy is detained by two cops, who cuff and then taser him. A resourceful McEvoy shakes them by deftly wielding a large dildo (don't ask). Gathering his wits over French toast at Norma's in Manhattan, McEvoy encounters his grandfather's fourth wife, Edit Vikander Costello, who brings the alarming news that Evelyn Costello, his mother's baby sister, is missing. McEvoy heads to Shea's SoHo lair, convinced he's stepping into a setup. A tricky chase ensues with McEvoy rivaling Bob Hope's speed at rapid-fire wisecracks. McEvoy, however, is not entirely flippant. Among his frequent digressions are biting, unsettling memories of home life, including one trenchant passage in which he is handed a copy of The Fountainhead. At McEvoy's core is a melancholy soul who believes "[t]he Universe cannot suffer happiness for long…." Colfer's work is entertaining and expertly judged. His terse, muscular prose makes even a car chase seem like a new idea, and his McEvoy is a durable raconteur.

Kirkus Reviews