Read an Excerpt
It’s the morning of my first triathlon.
The pre race buzz was starting to electrify in the early hours, as the competitors arrived, mingled, checked in and got their bikes ready for transition. For me, sleep hadn’t bothered to visit me the night before.
Once I park the car, I immediately switch my iPod on. Anything to get me focused. High tempo. Rock. Loud. I was about to enter the ring and face my fear. I was focused and confident.
This was my first real competitive swim. My first fifty-meter pool swim. My first swim in deep water. A morning of firsts. Three months of swim training in an eighteen-meter pool with no deep end had increased this non-swimmers confidence in actually swimming and doing it well. I was pumped, but well outside “comfortable”.
So it was important this fear was surpassed so I could get on with my long awaited triathlon career. My stomach was churning since early the day before, that unsettled feeling when we are about to push ourselves out of our comfort zones. I hate comfort zones, no idea where or why this started, but I’ve always pushed myself, trying to break my limits. I hate failure. But when I fail, it’s always spectacular and always burns me for a while.
The fifty-meter pool had daunted me the week before in practice, enough to make me stop half way and panic. I had worked hard all week on being mentally focused on the task at hand. Rhythm, focus, you want this, I kept repeating to myself all week.
I felt focused and assured I was here to get a job done. 700M swim. Not that far for anyone who has swam all their lives, and probably some would laugh at the thought of being this intimidated by a “small swim in a pool.”
This was the day, I was going to put to sleep all those experiences and build the confidence to be a good swimmer. I wanted to be capable of swimming a decent distance. This fear wasn’t going to get the better of me. I am stronger than that.
The bike and the run are my strengths. I had no worries about those two events. But the swim—that was another story.
I sat at the side of the pool before my wave started. Staring at the water. I could feel the anxiety build and I was actively trying to manage it. This was big for me. 700 meters I thought- I’ve done this in training. Let’s do it!
Water could hurt me--it had nearly killed me! You see years ago I had three instances of nearly drowning that really scared me.
Never learning to swim till I was in my 30’s.
So here I was about to face my biggest fear. Water. Drowning. The psychological scars of the past were about to be tackled. It was time to shift gears.
