Is Your Boyfriend a Werewolf? 5 Signs to Watch Out For

Readers of paranormal romance novels know that werewolves make the best boyfriends: they’re loyal, sexy, protective, and ridiculously ripped. Unfortunately, werewolves in all their hot toothy glory can also be notoriously secretive. While this is perfectly reasonable (you would probably be a little hesitant to tell people your deep dark hairy secret, what with phrases like “unholy abomination” and “shoot ’em!” thrown around whenever the word “lycanthropy” is mentioned), it’s imperative that you determine whether your man is in fact moon-cursed.
After all, while werewolf boyfriends are wonderful, they’re also, you know, cursed with a disease that turns them into a half-man, half-wolf hybrid that sprouts fur, howls at the moon, sports razor-sharp claws, and has a penchant for biting people. So it’s best to be emotionally prepared for this big reveal. Which is why, if your moon-called beloved is not willing to tell you his secret just yet, you need to watch for these five helpful signs your man is a werewolf. Remember: Forewarned is forearmed.

1. He’s got a weird relationship with pets
You’ve noticed all the neighborhood dogs hate him. Whenever you two take a walk through the local park, there’s a lot of growling and bared teeth. He always brushes off the doggy dislike by making a joke about canines hating his scent. Well, you used to think he was joking…but now you’re not so sure. And his relationships with your cat? Well, Chairman Meow still hasn’t forgiven him for chasing him up that tree the first time he stayed over at your place.

2. He calls you his “mate” a lot
Like all the time. I mean incessantly, like he won’t shut up about it. And not in the way British people call their friends “mate,” either. It’s starting t make your eye twitch.
3. He’s strangely terrified of your garden
One of the most delightful things about your man is that he loves to cook for you. When he discovered you keep an herb garden, he was just so adorably excited. But it all changed after your beloved stumbled upon the decorative wolfsbane growing in the back of the garden. Now, he won’t go near any of your plants, which is a real bummer, because this reticence has really affected the quality of his spaghetti sauce.
4. He has an extensive record of public nudity
Like all smart modern woman, shortly after you met your tall, hairy hunk, you did a little googling. You didn’t really expect to find out anything nefarious about your man, but better safe than sorry, right? It was a relief that you didn’t find anything horrific, but what you did discover was…strange. Numerous arrests for public nudity. All occurring early in the morning and all around the same time of the month. And always on the outskirts of the local woods. Hmm.
5. He disappears once a month. During the full moon
This might be your biggest clue. Girl, you are in danger…of falling for a wolf-man.
Could your partner be a werewolf?