My Love Interest Doesn’t Read, Are We Doomed?

Ask Ginni, our resident Literary Lady, anything you want to know about reading and relationships! She’ll comb the books and wrack her brains to help you out with your page-turning problems, your wordy woes, and your novel nuisances. Fire away, Bookworms!
Dear Literary Lady,
I’m dating someone I really like, but they say they don’t read and I recently went to their place and there were NO books there. Should I still give them a chance, or is my relationship doomed?
–Alex, Brooklyn NY.
Dear Alex,
Fear not! Your relationship isn’t doomed! And you should absolutely give them a chance if you really like them.
You see, I date a nonreader—I can relate! I stared aghast (and twitterpated) at someone I liked, saying he doesn’t read. My heart plummeted when I witnessed the dearth of books in his apartment, and my inner voice hollered at me to make a run for it.
But I didn’t make a run for it, despite his dislike of reading, and, equally importantly, he didn’t make a run for it, despite knowing I would babble endlessly about something he didn’t care about. Two people will always find differences in their likes and dislikes. What matters is if you like each other.
Reading might be immensely important to you as an individual, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a foundational requirement of your relationships. We sometimes concoct elaborate prerequisites for our romantic partners because we’re so busy defining ourselves by our hobbies and passions. We think, “I am a Reader, therefore I must keep company with well-read friends and only date literary types.” The hope is that by surrounding ourselves with like-minded people, we will be comfortable around them, secure with who we are, and therefore happy.
But what if someone can make you comfortable around them, secure, and happy without being like-minded? Dating someone with other interests and passions is much more adventurous than dating someone who does what you already do quite well all by yourself (read books). You might have to step out of your comfort zone a bit, find new pastimes, pick up a new hobby and put in a little more effort than usual, but I promise it won’t be boring.
Being with someone who doesn’t read doesn’t detract at all from your own reading life, and may even enhance it. The poet Ezra Pound once said, “Men do not understand books until they have a certain amount of life.” Dating someone who doesn’t read might just give you that certain amount of life. It’s worth a shot.
Love and paperbacks,
Literary Lady