The 14 Most Brazen Barbarians in Fantasy

Well, that’s not true. Down through history, civilized people haven’t been that fond of them, because of how they often attacked without warning and pillaged without mercy. The Ancient Greeks came up with the pejorative “barbarian” to denigrate foreigners and, later, anyone they didn’t like—at first, mostly the Turks, but eventually, even other Greeks who got on their bad side.
When the Romans started using the word, they applied it to the Goths, Vandals, Saxons, Gepids, Huns, Avars and the Picts, to name a few. Everybody applied the term to the Vikings (probably even the Vikings).
So, I guess what I should have opened with, “Barbarians! Everybody hates them.” But Epic Fantasy Barbarians (EFB), I love them. If you like them too, here’s a list of 14 brazen, brutal barbarians in epic fantasy stories.
(Note: Because I am focused on fictional barbarians you can read about, I am leaving out some truly epic barbarians from other media—and history. No Erik the Red or Thundarr the Barbarian here. Sorry.)

Conan the Barbarian
Any list of EFBs has to start with Robert E. Howard’s Conan, the quintessential EFB. “The Barbarian” is even part of his name. Born on a battlefield and an accomplished warrior by the age of 15, Conan wandered the kingdoms of the Hyborian Age (between the fall of Atlantis and the rise of the ancient civilizations of recorded history) fighting, thieving, pirating, and bedding (that latter usually done to sultry princesses and slave girls he rescued from various fates worse than death). The star of a handful of original stories (the first published in 1932) and countless comics, graphic novels, books and movies, Conan famously defined happiness as “to crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.” Nice guy.

Cohen the Barbarian
I have to follow up Conan with Cohen, who defined happiness as “hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper.” Ghenghiz Cohen is the creation of Terry Pratchett and appears in his Discworld By the time we first meet him, the character is already somewhere between 87 and 95 years old (barbarians don’t waste their time keeping track of things like birthdays), but he’s still the Discworld’s mightiest warrior. Unlike the hulking Conan, Cohen is a skinny old man with an eye patch and a long white beard, but that doesn’t stop him taking over kingdoms and trampling the bodies of his enemies beneath his boots. He is also famous for having cheated Fate by rolling a 7 on a 6-sided die (he cut the die in half in the air so that the 6 and the 1 both landed facing up). Oh, and his dentures are made of diamond.

Fafrhd
Fafhrd is up next. I would have started with him instead of Conan, if that was legal, because he is my favorite barbarian warrior. Author Fritz Leiber (with help from Harry Otto Fischer) created the character (and his partner in adventure the Gray Mouser) specifically to be more realistic and closer to human nature than Conan (and Tarzan), which is part of why I am so fond of the Lankhmar I also love the dark sense of humor—something mostly missing in Conan and Tarzan. Fafhrd is a massively strong, seven foot tall barbarian from the frozen northern wastes of the world of Nehwon (‘no when’ backwards). He wields his two-handed sword, Graywand, one-handed, he’s a romantic poet and a firm realist.

Tarzan
I wasn’t really sure whether to include Tarzan here, as he’s not really an EFB. Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Lord Greystoke, King of the Apes, is really more of an ARB (adventure/romance barbarian) or maybe a PFB (pulp fiction barbarian) or even a RNS (romantic noble savage), but since I mentioned him in the previous entry, I thought I should probably give him his own entry. While a lot of people love Tarzan, he tends to get on my nerves just a touch as he’s so generally perfect and flawless. He is tall, handsome, endlessly athletic and suntanned, with smoldering gray eyes and long, luxurious black hair. You probably already know that he is the son of a British lord and lady who died in the jungles of Africa and left him to be adopted by a tribe of fearsome apes, whom he eventually came to rule.

John Carter
What, you may ask, is John Carter doing on this list? He’s not a barbarian, you say? Oh, but he is! Remember when I mentioned that “barbarian” was just a word for “foreigner”? Well, John Carter is the ultimate foreigner. He’s an Earthman (a Virginian, to be precise), mystically transported to Mars (Barsoom), where he stands out like a sore thumb because of his white skin, his steel-gray eyes and his ability to jump 30 feet vertically and 100 feet horizontally. And, just like Conan, he eventually becomes king of the “civilized” people (Barsoomians). Well, a lot of them, anyway. OK, I won’t include any other “non-traditional” barbarians on the list, but I had to include John Carter because I like him so much better than Tarzan and because he’s supposed to be a distant relative of H.P. Lovecraft’s character Randolph Carter. For serious.

Stoick the Vast
I think it’s fitting to go from gentleman-barbarian, John Carter, to barbarian barbarian, Stoick the Vast (oh here his name and tremble, ugh ugh). If you’ve only seen the movies, you may be pleased to discover that there are a whole series of 12 How to Train your Dragon books by writer Cressida Cowell and that they are all quite funny and very different from the movies. The storyline is considerably more complex, and so is Stoick the Vast. That’s not intended to imply that he’s cunning or intelligent, because he’s certainly not. He’s a big, hulking brute who believes books are a bad influence and that the best way to solve any problem is through swift physical violence.

Red Sonja
Time for a female barbarian, I think, and Red Sonja is the first that comes to mind. While she’s appeared with Conan a number of times in comics and even movies, the original character (Red Sonya of Rogatino, actually) created by Robert E. Howard, was a character from the late Renaissance—way too late to have ever met Conan. But then a comic book guy named Roy Thomas rewrote the Robert E. Howard story (The Shadow of the Vulture) as a Conan story for Marvel Comics, turning her into the quintessential scantily clad female barbarian warrior we all know today. Like many comic book characters, she’s had numerous reboots and re-workings, to the degree that pinning down her origin story is a matter of personal taste. If you like it dark, there’s the version where she was a humble village girl in Western Hyrkania until her family was slaughtered by murderous mercenaries and she was raped and left for dead and then saved by the “red goddess Scáthach,” who gave her magically awesome fighting skills. If you like it lighter, there’s the version where she was a humble village girl in Western Hyrkania until her family was slaughtered by murderous bandits but she escaped, only to lure the bandits into the woods in order to kill them, one by one. She learned to fight later, when she was a slave, forced to fight as a gladiator. Or, if you like it super light, there’s the version where she’s a noblewoman of Hyrkania and her husband, Lord Daniel, gets slaughtered by murderous pirates and she learns to fight from a swordsman, who recognizes that she is the reincarnation of the original Red Sonja. Take your pick

Scáthach
I guess it would probably be good to cover Scáthach now, given that I just mentioned her in regards to Red Sonja. So first, Scáthach is not really, “the red goddess.” She is, in fact, “The Shadowy One,” a legendary Scottish warrior woman and martial arts teacher who trained the mighty berserker Cú Chulainn. (Why isn’t he covered on this list? I don’t know. He should have been.) The Irish myth goes that she lived in an impregnable castle on the Isle of Skye and she was such an awesome baddass that anybody who was anybody (in the ancient Celtic world) got sent to train with her in the arts of combat, which included pole vaulting, underwater fighting and the use of a particularly nasty barbed harpoon that she invented. If you’ve never read any of the old Ulster myth cycle, I highly recommend it. You might pick up The Táin, translated by Thomas Kinsella

Éowyn
Well, now I’m on a female barbarian roll, so I’d better get to Éowyn, the Shieldmaiden of Rohan. Of course, you’ll remember her as the niece of King Théoden of Rohan from The Lord of the Rings (otherwise, what are you doing reading this list? I mean, really). She’s the lady who got stuck caring for her sick uncle while he was being poisoned by Gríma Wormtounge, even though what she really wanted to do was be a warrior and go kick some evil butt. So, what did she do? Stay at home and make soup like Aragorn told her to? No way. She disguised herself as a man and wound up fighting the Witch King of Angmar to try to save Théoden. I’m not going to tell you how the fight comes out—you already know.

Asterix
Asterix is the hero of a series of French comics written by René Goscinny and illustrated by Albert Uderzo. Asterix is a Gaul, fighting against the incursion of civilized Romans (see, we’re back to that). The Romans have basically conquered all of Gaul, except Asterix’s village, which has managed to hold out because their local druid can brew up a potion that gives the drinker superhuman strength. Asterix is a small, skinny little guy, but he’s so clever and shrewd that he’s the “go to guy” for the villagers whenever anything important has to get done. He also benefits from the help of his stupid but hulking friend, Obelix, who fell into a cauldron of the magic druid potion when he was a baby so that he’s got permanent superhuman strength. There are tons of these comics and they are very funny.

Khal Drogo
No list of epic fantasy barbarians would be complete without one of the genre’s more recent arrivals, the hulking and darkly handsome Khal Drogo. Drogo is a sun-bronzed Dothraki warlord (Khal) from George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, and the Dothraki are basically…barbarians. They spend most of their time thundering around on horses, fighting incessantly, pillaging, raping and being the scourge of the civilized people’s of Essos (that continent to the east of Westeros). Even amongst the fierce savages of the Dothraki, Drogo is a legend, known for his massive strength, mad fighting skills and the fact that he’s never been defeated in battle. That last point is the reason he has such long, luxurious locks—apparently, when a Dothraki warrior is defeated, his opponent gets to humiliate him by cutting off his ponytail. Khal Drogo’s has never been cut. An interesting note, the guy who plays Drogo in the TV series A Game of Thrones looks so quintessentially barbarian that he next played Conan in the kind of crappy 2011 remake of Conan the Barbarian.

He-Man
Why on earth am I allowing He-Man if I won’t cover Thundarr? What kind of shoddy logic am I following? Well, let me explain. If He-Man had only been a line of toys and a cartoon—like Thundarr—I wouldn’t include him. But unlike Thundarr, there was also a movie (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe—1987—watch it!) and, most importantly, a comic book (even if it was included only with a toy purchase). The first thing to get out of the way is that He-Man is pretty much a barbarian in name only. When the concept was presented to management at Mattel, there were three prototypes—He-Man the Barbarian, He-Man the Soldier, and He-Man the Spaceman. They chose the barbarian version (and were promptly sued by the Conan people). Despite the barbarian name, He-Man is actually the alter ego of Prince Adam of Eternia—a totally civilized guy whose parents rule his home planet. He transforms himself into He-Man by raising his Power Sword and shouting “By the Power of Grayskull! I have the power!” He also transforms his cowardly green tiger, Cringer, into the mighty Battle Cat. So that’s cool.

Grignr
If you’ve never read The Eye of Argon, by Jim Theis, stop reading and order a copy right now. It is one of the most charmingly awkward bits of writing you will ever read, and Grignr is its insanely manly barbarian hero. Grignr comes from the land of Ecordia, which makes him—I kid you not—an Ecordian. Say it out loud. You know, I can’t really do Grignr justice. I’ll just let the book (and Grignr) speak for themselves,
“Down on your knees, lout, and pay proper homage to your sovereign!” commanded the pudgy noble of Grignr.
“By the surly beard of Mrifk, Grignr kneels to no man!” scowled the massive barbarian.
“You dare to deal this blasphemous act to me! You are indeed brave stranger, yet your valor smacks of foolishness.”
“I find you to be the only fool, sitting upon your pompous throne, enhancing the rolling flabs of your belly in the midst of your elaborate luxury…”
That’s right, even Mrifk’s beard is surly. And it just goes on like that, line after line, page after page. It’s actually not a bad story, and it is so hilariously written, you owe it to yourself to become better acquainted with Grignr.

Honorable mention: Thundarr the Barbarian
Yes, I have explicitly stated, twice now, that I am not including Thundarr on this list, and yet, here he is! What am I thinking? Well, this is a list of barbarians—and barbarians are rule breakers, so… And you gotta love Thundarr, especially if you happened to have been an impressionable teenager watching cartoons in the early ‘80s. Much like Conan, “the Barbarian,” is literally part of Thundarr’s name! But more importantly, Thundarr wears an animal skin onesie, has his own line of action figures, wields a laser blade called the “Sunsword,” and lives in the year 3994 AD. Thundarr is a post-apocalyptic barbarian, our Earth having been devastated in 1994 when another planet passed between it and the moon (which broke in two, making for some really cool visuals). Thundarr is a muscle-bound warrior who travels around with a princess and a fuzzy, bear/monster/man named Ookla the Mok, battling evil wizards who combine magic spells and remnants of 1994 technology. Along the way, he also fights werewolves and cosmic vampires, fire-shooting whales and mutant rabbits. That’s right, he fights mutant rabbits. If for no other reason than that, he belongs on this list.
J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison is the author of Fish Wielder, an epic fantasy adventure that’s kind of like what you’d get if The Lord of the Rings was set in Narnia and written by the guys who made Monty Python and the Holy Grail while they were listening to the music of They Might Be Giants.