15 Scenes from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Ranked in Order of How Emotional They Made Me

I love things that make me cry, whether it’s out of joy or sadness. I don’t know what this says about me. Probably that I have some unresolved issues stemming from that fateful day I did a deep-dive into Bridge to Terabithia. I had no idea what it was about. I was in ruins. It was incredible.
This might be why I loved Harry Potter and the Cursed Child so much. By the fourth act, I was openly weeping on public transportation and loving every minute of it. Here are the 15 scenes that did me in the most, ranked in order of how hard tears poured out of my eye holes.
OBVIOUS WARNING: 100% SPOILERS AHEAD!
#15: The opening scene on Platform 9 3/4.
WELL, FINE. JUST RIGHT OFF THE BAT, THEN. This should have been a warning for what was to come, but it wasn’t. I should have known what I was in for, but I didn’t. I only knew that Harry was telling Albus Severus “best to do it at a run if you’re nervous,” just like Molly Weasley once said to him.
#14: When Albus tells Scorpius, “I didn’t choose, you know? I didn’t choose to be his son.”
He might not know it yet, but Albus Severus has so much more in common with Harry than he thinks. He didn’t choose to have this legacy foisted upon him, any more than Harry chose to be the Chosen One.
#13: “How many people have to die for the Boy Who Lived?”
It’s a sentiment first spoken by Amos Diggory, still grief-stricken over Cedric, but it’s later echoed by Harry and speaks SO MUCH to the survivor’s guilt that still plagues him decades later.
#12: “So you’re telling me that the whole of history rests on…Neville Longbottom?”
OF COURSE IT DOES. NEVILLE COULD HAVE BEEN THE CHOSEN ONE, BUT HE WASN’T, SO HE CAME INTO HIS OWN WITHOUT A PROPHECY TO GUIDE HIM. Ron may be surprised Neville was the key to Harry’s survival and Voldemort’s defeat, BUT I’M SURE NOT.
#11: Hermione is the Minister of Magic!
In retrospect, this seems obvious. Of course Hermione was going to be the Minister of Magic. She’s brilliant, and she’ll lead us to a brighter tomorrow.
#10: When Harry tries to give his old baby blanket to Albus.
Albus doesn’t appreciate it, but I swear whenever I read this part I can hear the grand orchestral swell of “Hedwig’s Theme” in my head.
#9: When Professor (and Headmistress) McGonagall uses the Marauder’s Map.
Harry may have been wholly misguided in asking her to spy on Albus with it, but there was something about seeing Minerva McGonagall (who had to endure two generations of Hogwarts troublemakers wielding this thing) saying things like, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” and “Mischief managed!” that brings on the old eye water.
#8: WHEN SNAPE APPEARS.
Not only did I miss his characteristic dry humor, but also GUYS, THE BAND IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER. And when he’s told how he dies, his only response is, “How very irritating.” That’s just classic Snape.
#7: When Dumbledore’s portrait tells Harry that suffering is human, and Harry replies, “You said that to me once before.”
We were all remembering Sirius, were we not? And gross sobbing about it?
#6: WHEN RON AND HERMIONE FALL IN LOVE AGAIN IN THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AND HAVE THEIR SOULS SUCKED OUT VIA DEMENTOR’S KISS.
I DID NOT KNOW THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT COULD HAPPEN. I DID NOT KNOW THIS WAS EVEN REMOTELY WITHIN THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY. I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AFRAID OF THIS. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, J.K. ROWLING? WHAT EVEN WAS THIS?
#5: When Albus tells Cedric he has to finish the maze, even though he knows he’s sending him to his death.
Albus knows what it feels like to be the spare, but now he knows Cedric was always going to die. He has to die. It still isn’t fair, but it’s the way it has to be.
#4: When Scorpius reads the date on the timetable—30th of October, 1981.
AND WE ALL REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING EVEN BEFORE HE DID.
#3: When Harry refuses to kill Delphi.
Remember when he refused to let Sirius and Remus murder Peter Pettigrew? Remember when he disarmed Stan Shunpike instead of killing him, and thereafter Expelliarmus became his “thing”? Refusing to let the Dark side claim him, refusing to become a murderer for the sake of his enemies—this is something that remains at the core of Harry’s character. AND IT’S A LESSON HE’S PASSING ON TO HIS SON. HOLD ME.
#2: When Harry has to watch his parents die.
He watched his parents die once before—when he was trapped in Voldemort’s mind and his memories, back in Deathly Hallows. But this time, he’s in a position to change their fate, and he knows he can’t. Can you even IMAGINE the kind of conviction that must have taken? Because I can’t. This is like 50 times worse than Bridge to Terabithia.
#1: When Hagrid appears.
First you make me relive James and Lily dying, and then you hit me with THIS? Hagrid, telling them their sacrifice won’t be forgotten? Hagrid taking Harry away and telling him, “I’m Rubeus Hagrid. And I’m gonna be yer friend whether yeh like it or not”? Thanks, J.K. Rowling. Thanks a bunch. Please excuse me while I weep profusely and never, ever stop.