2024-02-02
A playwright’s emotionally charged debut book about understanding life in the wake of her mother’s death.
When Kingston was 3, her mother was diagnosed with “an aggressive form of breast cancer” that, over the course of a few years, spread to her brain, ultimately killing her. During those intervening years, the author’s mother curated a collection of gifts and messages to mark the birthdays and milestones that would come after her death. Kingston’s memoir is the story of her childhood—one defined by the ever-present expectation of and planning for death—and time’s insistent march through her adolescence and young adulthood, punctuated with disappointments, depressions, and tragedies. It is also the story of her mother, a narrative that includes revelations, some startling, about her own childhood, accomplishments, and marriage and insights into how she apportioned availability, presence, and guidance to her daughter posthumously. As these threads intertwine, otherwise minor memories, such as a childhood sleepover, become saturated with significance, and the emotional sensations of a child are overlaid with the wisdom and reflection of someone much older. For readers, this striation proves both enriching and disorienting, mirroring a touch-and-go intermittency of illness and the inevitability of her mother’s death. Instead of an adult’s analysis of the impact of spending her formative years under the yoke of a parent’s impending death, the author yearns for the past, situating many of the text’s most profound insights with her child self. Thus, Kingston’s story captures the distinct way that a child experiences grief, even anticipatory grief, and the struggle of a child’s mind to envision a future without a parent. As the shape of her grief changes with age, Kingston teaches us something essential about how to collect, hold, and savor memories of loved ones over a lifetime.
A heart-tugging memoir about the many faces of loss.
An unforgettable memoir about the power of love.”
—Good Morning America
"This debut memoir tells a daughter’s story of grief and a mother’s devotion... Two decades after her mother’s passing, Kingston is left with three remaining boxes—engagement, marriage, and first baby—and a lifetime of memories to unpack." —Oprah Daily, 'Most Anticipated Books of 2024'
“Gwen Kingston’s dying mother left her gifts that would carry her through age 30. In so doing, Gwen could mete out doses of her late mother throughout her young adulthood, clinging to her mother’s memory and voice, and feeling her love, all of which she chronicles in this wonderful memoir." —Katie Couric Media, '26 Books for Every Mom on Your List'
"In this memoir, Genevieve Kingston shares the story of losing her mother at the tender age of eleven. What she gained was a treasure chest... Admit it, you're already as moved and intrigued as I am.” —Parade, 'The Best New Book Releases This Week'
“[Did I Ever Tell You?] offers solace and an empathetic voice for readers who have contended with their own experiences of grief and loss. It is a powerful testament to a mother’s legacy and the importance of living a full and meaningful life, however long it may last.” —BookReporter
“Both a beautiful tribute to [Kingston’s] mother and a portrait of unconditional love, providing catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a loved one.” —Real Simple
“Kingston's beautifully written debut memoir is both heartrending and hard to put down. Her mother's gifts and words of love reached into Kingston's future life like ‘a trail of breadcrumbs,’ providing direction, affirmation, and affection and proving that a mother’s love is ‘stronger than death.’ Kingston’s generous telling of her youth and loss is unforgettable and profound.” —Booklist (starred)
“[A] wrenching memoir.” —Kim Hubbard, The New York Times Book Review
“As the shape of her grief changes with age, Kingston teaches us something essential about how to collect, hold, and savor memories of loved ones over a lifetime. A heart-tugging memoir about the many faces of loss.” —Kirkus
“In her debut memoir, UC Berkeley alum Genevieve Kingston expands on her Modern Love essay about a series of gifts that her late mother left behind in anticipation of birthdays and milestones that she’d never witness.” —San Francisco Chronicle
“Did I Ever Tell You? is compelling and heartbreaking, and reminded me how beautiful humans can be when life breaks them open. Gwen's mother, during her own most difficult time, executes an act of miraculous love for her children that has a scope and power that will take your breath away. Don't miss this gorgeous memoir.”
—Ann Napolitano, New York Times bestselling author of Hello Beautiful and Dear Edward
"I could not love this book more. Did I Ever Tell You? grabbed my heart from the very first pages and took me on a journey that has changed forever the way I think about the legacies we leave—on purpose and by accident—to those we love. In bracing, vivid, generous prose and with crystalline candor, Kingston shares a page-turning and wholly unexpected story about the extraordinary gifts her mother left her, including the most powerful one of all: the tools Kingston needed to carry on without her mom. This book is so full of hard-won wisdom and surprising insight into the challenges and joys of living every day that I want to press it into the hands of everyone I know and say, simply, “You must, must read this."
—Will Schwalbe, New York Times bestselling author of The End of Your Life Book Club
"An extraordinary testament to the power of love over death, this book is healing, moving, and ultimately, instructive. The example of one mother's incredible unconditional love for her daughter, and this daughter’s resilient search to live well in the face of devastating loss, will make readers cry, and also help them through their grief. Though I read this book quickly because I could not put it down, it will nurture me for a long time to come. What a beautiful gift from a mother to a daughter, and for a daughter to her readers."
—Sarah Ruhl, Pulitzer Prize finalist and author of Smile
"In this gorgeous memoir, Genevieve Kingston packages up the stories of her motherless coming-of-age with as much tenderness and care as her mom took in selecting and wrapping the gifts and letters she left behind for her. At times devastating, at other times funny, Kingston is never treacly or manipulative—she's clear-eyed, reflective, and expansive throughout, making hers a story that so many of us can relate to. This book will give you a long, cathartic cry." —Elise Loehnen, New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior
