7 Signs You’re Suffering From Book Series Withdrawal

It’s amazing how easy it is to fall completely in love with a series of books. Ask me about the time I tripped and fell into a hole called The Mortal Instruments series. I swear I don’t deliberately seek out books that will require a decade-long commitment, and yet, I’ve watched my hair change color while waiting for the next installment in too many series to count. Though mainly that’s because I dye my hair. A lot.

At this point in my life, if I’ve got my eye on a series, I tend to wait it out for the thing to be finished up. That way I won’t finish book two, discover there’s a book three in the works, and spend each day rending my garments and gnashing my teeth. Here are just a few of the only-moderately-disturbing signs that you, or someone you love, is suffering from book series withdrawal:

1. A Vacant Expression

You think they’ve just “zoned out,” but the reality is far more disturbing. A vacant, unblinking expression means that the person you love has left their body and travelled to the magical realm of “what if,” where they’re busy playing out innumerable story lines from their favorite series to see if they hold water. Speaking of water, tossing it at the victim in question is the best way to waken them from this dangerous state.

2. Shredded Books

You used to own an impressive library. Now you own an impressive pile of ripped-up pages. That’s because the series fiend in your life has “double checked” each book in your house to make sure it isn’t a missing part of the series they’re jonesing for. Lock up, your fiction, y’all. This freak can’t be tamed.

3. Inappropriate Volume

The rage they can’t take out on the heel-dragging author of their beloved series, they take out on everything else. Invite them to the movie adaptation of their latest favorite at your peril; odds are high you’ll both be kicked out when they start screaming, “That’s it? THAT’S THE END? WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE!” Soothe them with belly rubs and an assortment of Choose Your Own Adventures.

4. Fun With Food

Unsure if the special someone in your life is suffering from series withdrawal? Look no further than their dinner plate for answers. Have they sculpted an Arya Stark–shaped mound of potatoes? A Hermione Granger-esque pile of couscous? You’ve got your answer, and it is savory affirmative.

5. Sudden Disappearance

An easy way to tell if the book lover in your life is missing their fave series, hard? They will suddenly vanish. You’ll be at dinner, a ballet, a recital, perhaps shopping for potatoes which you’ll later sculpt into some sort of House Lannister sigil. Then suddenly, you realize that your partner in crime is missing. Don’t worry—they’re easily found. Check the aisles of your favorite bookstore, where they’ll be flipping through the pages of Allegiant and weeping uncontrollably.

6. Jealousy

Your bestie’s been singing the praises of the Outlander series for ages. Between her rave reviews and word that an adaptation is headed for the small screen, you decide, “what the heck,” and dig in. You share said news with your bestie, expecting her to be overjoyed that you’re finally heeding her advice. What you get is a reaction more suited to the news that you’re dating her ex-boyfriend. It’s not your fault she can’t start the series over again like it’s new!

7. New Hobbies 

Reading is just too painful for the series addict in recovery. Rather than even TRY another book, they take on other hobbies outside of the book realm in the hopes of distracting themselves. Archery, baby-cuddling, and taxidermy are all things they might try to scratch that itch. Though, thankfully, rarely all at once.

Have you ever been in serious series withdrawal?