Chart My Journey: A Guest Post by Brigid Delaney
Who do we lean on in times of need? Brigid Delaney, author of Our Monthly Pick Reasons Not to Worry, asks, why not the Stoics? Through calm and chaos, hope and horror, Delaney finds comfort in lessons of the past. Discover the inspiration behind her realizations in her exclusive essay, down below.
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Reasons Not to Worry: How to Be Stoic in Chaotic Times
Reasons Not to Worry: How to Be Stoic in Chaotic Times
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Paperback
$16.99
$18.99
Find comfort in chaos by leaning on the Stoics to solve life’s greatest mysteries.
Find comfort in chaos by leaning on the Stoics to solve life’s greatest mysteries.
Readers of Reasons Not to Worry will be able to chart my journey into Stoic philosophy in real time.
As I was writing the book, I was learning the ancient Greek and Roman philosophy and applying it to situations that were happening in my life.
Didn’t get the pay rise I applied for? What would the Stoics say?
Frustrated about delays to my flight? What’s the Stoic way to avoid frustration?
Angry at a noisy neighbor? How do you avoid a hostile dispute?
A friendship falls into a funk of misunderstanding and conflict? Can you do anything?
A first date fails to materialize into a second? How to stop feeling rejected and disappointed?
And then when Australia entered in what would be a years-long off and on lockdown due to Covid 19 – what would the Stoic advise about my (and the world’s) feelings of fear and loss of control?
Sometimes I thought the Stoics got it wrong. They broadly thought desire could be stopped in its tracks with the application of the philosophy. But could attraction really just be a case of mind over matter?
What about hormones? Or biology? Or the role of the unconscious?
But mostly the Stoics proved to be spot on.
I started getting interested in Stoicism in 2018, when I wrote a column about it for the Guardian. But I was only scratching the surface. Over the following years I read everything Stoic that I could get my hands on.
It was the works of three Roman Stoics – Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius – that survived. Greek work only exists in fragments.
What I found was the philosophy was made for – and in – a time not dissimilar to our own.
They also had chaos, war, plagues, pestilence, corruption, anxiety, overindulgence and fear of a climate apocalypse.
And I found people just like us, longing to find meaning and connection, to feel whole and tranquil, to love and be loved, to have a harmonious family life, fulfilling and meaningful work, intimate and nourishing friendships, a sense of contributing to your community, belonging to something greater than yourself, a wonder at the natural world, and letting it all go – often at a time not of your choosing.
The Ancients, just like us – had to find ways of coping with the inevitable suffering that comes with life.
And the result – Stoicism is a whole philosophy that is cradle to grave. It provided wisdom on everything from the loss of a favorite object, to being ridiculed, to drinking too much, to grief and death.
It has also proved to be remarkably practical. I use it every day. And it has improved my life and my relationships in countless ways.
The most common lesson I apply is the control test.
It’s a simple but incredibly effective strategy I use whenever I start worrying about something. It can be applied not just to the news cycle but absolutely everything in life, from not getting a pay raise to facing death.
The formula, or test, is found in Handbook, or Enchiridion, a book of lectures by the Roman stoic Epictetus. Epictetus – whose handbook was published in 125AD – wrote:
Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.
Essentially, our realm of control consists of our own actions and reactions, our desires, our character and how we treat others.
The rest – including our bodies, the actions of others, our reputations and our fortunes (personal and financial) – are out of our control.
Apart from the thorny question of desire – the control test is remarkably effective at assessing what we should and shouldn’t expect to be able to control in life. This knowledge is liberating.
Photo Credit: Carly Earl