The Game of Thrones Awards, Season 5, Episode 1: Welcome Back, Smallfolk!
Greetings, and welcome! My name is Ben, you have stumbled upon the ONLY Game of Thrones recaps on the entire internet. Week to week, I will break down each episode of season 5, giving out highly prestigious awards and wrapping everything up in a tidy bow with a haiku. Unlike last season, I will be unable to count how many times a certain character says his own name, as that storyline will not be revisited until season 6. If that’s is an issue, please say “Hodor” amongst yourselves until the urge passes.
Season 5, Episode 1: “The Wars to Come”
A Dance with Dragons (A Song of Ice and Fire #5) (HBO Tie-in Edition)
Paperback $18.00
A Dance with Dragons (A Song of Ice and Fire #5) (HBO Tie-in Edition)
Paperback $18.00
Game of Thrones has never hung its hat on season premieres, and in fairness, it doesn’t really have to. After going without the show for 10 months, rabid fans would likely settle for an hour-long loop of Joffrey being slapped (rest his soul).
I wasn’t particularly impressed by The Wars to Come, but that doesn’t really concern me. Unlike most shows that feel compelled to make a splash at the start of each season, the Thrones showrunners are rarely in a hurry. They know that if we have watched this far, we aren’t going to throw a fit if nothing crazy happens in any given episode. Even in the most uneventful ones, there is always enough character development and memorable dialogue to hold me over. All of that being said, the episode nicely sets up the pieces for chess match that will stretch all season long.
The premiere opens with a flashback scene, which is not something the show had attempted before. Young Cersei, who is 100 percent the brat you’d imagine, is given some good news and some bad news by a cackling fortune teller: she knows she will one day be queen, but also learns her reign will be short-lived, brought to an end by someone younger and more beautiful. I like this moment for the perspective it lends to her character. She has lived most of her life with this knowledge, but has marched dutifully forward into a terrible future anyway—perhaps with a belief that she could change the outcome, and perhaps because there is nothing else she can do. Perhaps if her father had died sooner, it all could have been different.
Speaking of Tywin, whose presence I already miss, his passing has left a power vacuum. The Lannisters are terrified that the rest of Westeros will seize the moment and kick them out of the Red Keep. This idea has likely already occurred to Margaery Tyrell, whose love of power and family seems eerily familiar by now.
Perhaps no one will benefit from Tywin’s death more than Stannis Baratheon, whose upcoming war with Lannnister lackey Roose Bolton will likely now be significantly easier. Stannis is a unique character in the sense that he’s a hard man to hate, and equally hard to love. Sure, he’s dedicated to fairness and justice…but he’s also a religious fanatic who burns people alive (RIP Mance). He looks even more complicated when he shares screen time with the show’s blandest hero, Jon Snow.
No one had to tell Tyrion and Varys the big news, as they were right there when it happened. The Imp sailed across the narrow sea in a crate, the latest in a lifetime of indignities. The highlight of the episode for me was the news that they would be visiting Daenerys soon. This is a big step, as she has yet to come into contact with any of the show’s major players. I’m glad that she will have something to do besides fret about how her dragons are not teddy bears, and are in fact GIANT FLYING KILLING MACHINES. Someone probably should have told her that sooner.
Quoteable Quotes
“Can I drink myself to death on the way to Meereen?” – Tyrion
“I wish you good fortune in the wars to come” – Mance Rayder, seconds before being burned at the stake
Awards
- The “Things I never want to see standing over me when I wake up” award goes to the masked assassin who takes out one of the Unsullied at the brothel. It was a masterfully shot and chilling scene. The downside is I now need therapy.
- Season 5’s first “We Missed You” award goes to Arya Stark. Season 4 ends with the image of her sailing to Bravos, and leaving her out of the first episode is cruel.
- The “Total Extreme Makeover: Westeros Edition” award goes to Sansa Stark, who has changed more than any other character from the start of the last season to this one. Her hair is now dark, and her soul might be getting there too.
- The “Most Likely to Die in a Sword Fight” award goes to Robin Arryn. No one is going to confuse him for Ned Stark any time soon.
And now, a Haiku
Dany takes a stance
Says no to the fighting pits
Yes to Dario
I will be back at it next week. Until then, I hope no one puts any creepy stones on your eyes!
Game of Thrones has never hung its hat on season premieres, and in fairness, it doesn’t really have to. After going without the show for 10 months, rabid fans would likely settle for an hour-long loop of Joffrey being slapped (rest his soul).
I wasn’t particularly impressed by The Wars to Come, but that doesn’t really concern me. Unlike most shows that feel compelled to make a splash at the start of each season, the Thrones showrunners are rarely in a hurry. They know that if we have watched this far, we aren’t going to throw a fit if nothing crazy happens in any given episode. Even in the most uneventful ones, there is always enough character development and memorable dialogue to hold me over. All of that being said, the episode nicely sets up the pieces for chess match that will stretch all season long.
The premiere opens with a flashback scene, which is not something the show had attempted before. Young Cersei, who is 100 percent the brat you’d imagine, is given some good news and some bad news by a cackling fortune teller: she knows she will one day be queen, but also learns her reign will be short-lived, brought to an end by someone younger and more beautiful. I like this moment for the perspective it lends to her character. She has lived most of her life with this knowledge, but has marched dutifully forward into a terrible future anyway—perhaps with a belief that she could change the outcome, and perhaps because there is nothing else she can do. Perhaps if her father had died sooner, it all could have been different.
Speaking of Tywin, whose presence I already miss, his passing has left a power vacuum. The Lannisters are terrified that the rest of Westeros will seize the moment and kick them out of the Red Keep. This idea has likely already occurred to Margaery Tyrell, whose love of power and family seems eerily familiar by now.
Perhaps no one will benefit from Tywin’s death more than Stannis Baratheon, whose upcoming war with Lannnister lackey Roose Bolton will likely now be significantly easier. Stannis is a unique character in the sense that he’s a hard man to hate, and equally hard to love. Sure, he’s dedicated to fairness and justice…but he’s also a religious fanatic who burns people alive (RIP Mance). He looks even more complicated when he shares screen time with the show’s blandest hero, Jon Snow.
No one had to tell Tyrion and Varys the big news, as they were right there when it happened. The Imp sailed across the narrow sea in a crate, the latest in a lifetime of indignities. The highlight of the episode for me was the news that they would be visiting Daenerys soon. This is a big step, as she has yet to come into contact with any of the show’s major players. I’m glad that she will have something to do besides fret about how her dragons are not teddy bears, and are in fact GIANT FLYING KILLING MACHINES. Someone probably should have told her that sooner.
Quoteable Quotes
“Can I drink myself to death on the way to Meereen?” – Tyrion
“I wish you good fortune in the wars to come” – Mance Rayder, seconds before being burned at the stake
Awards
- The “Things I never want to see standing over me when I wake up” award goes to the masked assassin who takes out one of the Unsullied at the brothel. It was a masterfully shot and chilling scene. The downside is I now need therapy.
- Season 5’s first “We Missed You” award goes to Arya Stark. Season 4 ends with the image of her sailing to Bravos, and leaving her out of the first episode is cruel.
- The “Total Extreme Makeover: Westeros Edition” award goes to Sansa Stark, who has changed more than any other character from the start of the last season to this one. Her hair is now dark, and her soul might be getting there too.
- The “Most Likely to Die in a Sword Fight” award goes to Robin Arryn. No one is going to confuse him for Ned Stark any time soon.
And now, a Haiku
Dany takes a stance
Says no to the fighting pits
Yes to Dario
I will be back at it next week. Until then, I hope no one puts any creepy stones on your eyes!