I Joined a Book Club—In First Grade.

When I was in first grade, my mother signed me up for “Donuts And Books,” a community book club for children run by our local library.
This book club made no sense for multiple reasons. First of all, I thought the name “Bagels And Books,” would have sounded nicer, but what kind of idiot would point that out (I didn’t want anyone taking away my Boston cremes)? Secondly, it wasn’t really a book club, since we all read different books and then presented reports on what we’d read. And when you have a donut in your mouth, it’s hard to care about someone’s report on a book you’ve never even heard of. I secretly suspected that the librarians were using us to learn about the books they didn’t want to actually read. Finally, and back to the donuts, it’s hard to give a presentation about books when you’re covered in powdered sugar, your lips caked with jelly.
My mother loved the idea of a book club for kids, but this wasn’t technically a book club–it was more of a donut meet-up. So she started a book club at my house, for my friends. There were no donuts, but every week we ate snacks based on the book we read, and did a craft or played a game. We made our own bookmarks, and basically spent one afternoon a month reveling in our geekdom. Unfortunately, my mom let us name our book club, and to this day, our unoriginality annoys me. (We were The Book Worms.)
Below, a list of the books we read, and how my mom made them super fun to read together.
Peppermints In The Parlor: If you’ve read the book, you know that there’s a tin of peppermints in the parlor of the mansion in this book, but nobody is allowed to eat the peppermints. We played an indoor version of “Kick The Can” when we met to discuss this novel, but instead of the can, you tried to steal peppermints from your opponent’s tin.
The Phantom Tollbooth: We had a scavenger hunt based on maps my mom made that included the Sea Of Knowledge, Mountains Of Ignorance, etc.
The Poof Point: My mom gave us all blank comic books, and we wrote and drew the adventures of our parents as they regressed toward “The Poof Point.”
Half Magic: We just ate popsicles and played SPUD in the back yard. It was a really nice day.
Fog Magic: Every book club has its own Fog Magic—the book so horrible that it single-handedly kills the book club. After my mom selected Fog Magic, nobody ever came back.
It’s too bad the book club had to die, and if I weren’t almost thirty, I’d ask my mom to start another one for me and my friends. Mom, if you’re reading this, don’t feel too bad about the demise of The Book Worms. We were foolish to pooh-pooh Fog Magic. I mean, it won a Newbery.