When Harry Potter picks up The Daily Prophet, we know he turns right to his wife’s Quidditch reports. Hermione reads the latest ministry news first (then pulls up the Wall Street Journal on the iPad her fascinated father-in-law keeps accidentally breaking, because she knows she’ll need to run interference with the muggle world when she becomes Minister of Magic). But what does Ron read first when he opens up the wizarding world’s premiere source of non-crumple-horned snorkack-related news? The listicles, of course. Yes, in a wizarding world where there are owls instead of email and “buzz feed” is a sound your wand makes plus the thing you do for your toad, Trevor, listicles run in print. Here are 13 Ron might read over his morning pumpkin juice.
23 Thoughts Hufflepuffs Have When Talking to a Gryffindor Prefect
11 Hogwarts Headmasters Who Look Exactly Like Kneazles
35 Things You Should Never Say to a Centaur
These 13 Deadly Curses Basically Describe Your Love Life
14 Lines from Rita Skeeter’s Latest Tell-All, as Quoted by Baby Dragons Who Just Can’t Stay Awake
24 Pygmy Puffs That Just Can’t Even Right Now
29 Bat Bogey Hexes You Need to See Before You Die
Accio Clean Hair: 21 Spells Incredibly Lazy Wizards Wish Existed
49 Times Gilderoy Lockhart Should’ve Taken One More Thing Off Before He Left the House
39 Times Albus Dumbledore Said What We All Were Thinking
Here Are 26 Things That Would Happen if Veelas Were Allowed to Run for Office
21 Super-Sad Letters from Hogwarts First-Years that Basically Sum Up Your Feelings About Life
16 Things Only Muggle-borns Understand
