Where Are They Now?: The Supporting Characters of Harry Potter

If you’re anything like me, you’re constantly plagued by the idea that we have no clue what’s going on in the wizarding world in our current book-less state. Is Hagrid still the groundskeeper at Hogwarts? Do Muggle-borns go into internet withdrawal during the school year? Did Harry see Star Wars: The Force Awakens? What did he think?
Fortunately, the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child script book—referred to by Pottermore as the eighth installment in the Harry Potter saga—comes out on July 30. This is great news for anyone who doesn’t live in London (and doesn’t own a Portkey) and so won’t be attending the theatrical production, but still wants the answers to these questions and more. (Spoiler alert: Harry saw Star Wars, and he loved it.) But since the two-part play will focus largely on Harry & Co., we thought we’d give J.K. Rowling a hand and let you know what some of the secondary characters and unsung heroes of the Potterverse have been up to since last we saw them:
Professor Flitwick: Started the first ever Hogwarts a cappella group, Witch Perfect, a group of diverse and lovable misfits who went to defeat Durmstrang’s group, Tone Down For What, in the wizarding world’s cutthroat a cappella competition.
Sir Cadogan: Had an on-again, off-again thing with the Fat Lady before she finally proposed.
Lee Jordan: Became a Vine star in the Muggle world. No one can figure out how he’s managing those stunts, and he’s not telling.
Neville’s grandmother: Still alive. Local children are beginning to wonder if she’s immortal. She lives in a large mansion on a hill that houses a terrible secret.
Mundungus Fletcher: Became a criminal informant for the wizard cops. This is confidential information, though, so be cool.
Dedalus Diggle: Once the war was over and he was free to come out of hiding with the Dursley family, he went on a road trip to find himself.
Professor Grubbly-Plank: Continues her duties as a substitute teacher. Also joined a Weird Sisters tribute band.
The Weird Sisters: Remained a popular musical group until 2004, when their bassist was tragically lost at sea.
Ludo Bagman: Faded from the public eye for a little while before resurfacing and opening a wizarding bakery. I know. He was pretty surprised, too.
Reg Cattermole: Lost everything in the recession. You probably thought wizards were immune to the subprime mortgage crisis of 2008, didn’t you?
Lavender Brown: Very much alive, no matter what the movies may have implied. Became a happily married cat lady, not mutually exclusive terms.
Stan Shunpike: Became the first wizard in space. Remember that chat-up line he used on the Veela about inventing a broomstick that would make it to Jupiter? Doesn’t sound so stupid now, does it?
Fleur Delacour: Unassuming Gringotts banker by day. Crime-fighting, justice-seeking vigilante by night.
Cornelius Fudge: Became a weary bartender in his old age. Occasionally hosts trivia nights for teams with names like “The Fizzing Quiz-bees” and “You’re a Quizzard, Harry.”