Yule Ball Proposals, Ranked in Order of Awkwardness

You wouldn’t think wizards would be relatable: they do spells in class, their frogs are made of chocolate, and they never have to go to the dentist. But when it comes to school dances, they’re just like the rest of us: completely awkward. And as we learned from the Yule Ball in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, there’s a right and a wrong way to ask someone. Here’s each and every Yule Ball proposal, ranked from least to most embarrassing.
#5. Fred Weasley asking Angelina Johnson
Of all the Yule Ball proposals on this list, this is the only one I can stand to think about without wanting to fling myself into the sun. Let’s be honest: this should not have worked, but it DID. His exact words, yelled from across the Gryffindor common room: “Oi, Angelina! Want to come to the ball with me?” He throws it out there all casual-like, and she says yes. Suddenly I, too, want someone to ask me to a dance with such suave indifference it almost feels like an afterthought. Flawless execution. 10/10.
#4. Ron Weasley asking Hermione Granger
It’s every girl’s dream to be asked out as a last resort. Double points if you ask her after you’ve already sort of implied she can’t get a date on their own. This entire scene was a yikes and a half. Ron was like, “Oh, hey, you’re a girl. I guess we should just go together,” and Hermione was like, “NOPE, I’M GOING WITH SOMEONE ELSE. NOT NAMING NAMES, BUT HE’S A HOT BULGARIAN QUIDDITCH PLAYER, AND HE RHYMES WITH ‘STRICTER PLUM’.” Oh, Ronald. It’s not your fault you’re a juggernaut of human incompetence, but then again, well, it kind of is.
#3. Harry Potter asking Parvati Patil
Look, asking someone to a dance is terrible. I know this because I tried it once, and they said, “No, thanks,” and I then I didn’t speak to another human being for at least three years. So basically, I’m just impressed Harry even asked her, albeit without any real feeling or fanfare. He just said, “Hey. Go with me?” and she said, “Sure.” Now, the only reason this is a better-than-average Yule Ball proposal is because it directly followed the thing that happened with Cho Chang. Speaking of which…
#2. Harry Potter asking Cho Chang
When I read this part for the first time, I cringed so hard I think I left my body for a moment. Harry had this little meet-cute with his longtime crush, Cho, at the Owlery, and he followed it up with what can only be described as a catastrophe of language. He WORD VOMITED the proposal at her. He had to REPEAT HIMSELF. I felt “Wangoballwime?” echoing in my very soul. Honestly, I still can’t believe I had to watch this go down. It was a crime against humanity, and Harry made every single one of us an accessory.
#1. Ron Weasley asking Fleur Delacour
There’s not a lot of literature available on how to properly ask someone to a dance without flubbing it, but what we DO know for sure is you should never 1) barf the words out at random, or 2) flee immediately afterward. Ron is a maverick; he did both of those things. Fleur was using the full effect of her Veela charm on Cedric Diggory and Ron simply got caught in the crossfire, but STILL. She later became his sister-in-law. I’m pretty sure if this happened to me, I would just leave the country and start a new life, but he had to see her all the time. Did they talk about this? Did it ever come up again? Forget “Why didn’t everyone just use owls to find Voldemort?”—THESE are the questions that need to be asked.