The Muppets’ Favorite Books

It’s time to play the music! It’s time to light the (reading) lights! It’s time to meet the Muppets’ bookshelves on this Muppet post tonight!

While Jim Henson’s garrulous band of puppet entertainers brightens the screens of your local cinemas in Muppets Most Wanted, attention turns—as it always does—to the inner workings of these timeless stars. From the outfits Miss Piggy wears on promotional stops, to “waka” after “waka” from Fozzie, we want to know every minute detail about these show business legends’ lives.

Naturally, though, we’re most interested in one thing: what are the Muppets’ favorite books? Below are our somewhat inconclusive findings (Rowlf was too cool to comment, and the Swedish Chef too incomprehensible):

Kermit the Frog: Animal Farm, by George Orwell
Dictatorial pigs are kind of in his wheelhouse, as is organizing a ragtag group of animals (and blue things, and whatever Sweetums is).

Miss Piggy: Lean In, by Sheryl Sandberg
Some chapters this diva-preneur finds particularly applicable: “Seek and Speak Your Truth,” “Make Your Partner a Real Partner,” and “Sit at the Table.” Though maybe in future editions, “So Frog Legs Has Cold Feet Again?” would be a good addition.

Gonzo: The Little Red Hen
Gonzo’s pursuit of Camilla the Chicken is one of the great love stories of our time. And he strikes me as a man (thing?) who likes an authoritative, clucking lady, which both the classic children’s story and Camilla’s rendition of “Forget You” share.

Fozzie Bear: The Pun Also Rises, by John Pollack
In which Fozzie discovered he was not the first to “waka” the fine line of humorous wordplay.

Floyd Pepper: Life, by Keith Richards
Floyd is the glue that holds Electric Mayhem together. Not only does he keep Animal on a tight leash and, like, totally listen to Janice’s nonsense, but from what I can tell he has actually Oedipused his eyeballs so he can continue to work with Dr. Teeth without screaming. Despite his star turn as the Caterpillar in The Muppet Show‘s version of Alice in Wonderland, he probably likes to sit back with this biography of a rock ‘n’ roll life more out of control than his.

Animal: Where the Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak
Pure id meets Sendak’s picture-driven story of a havoc-wreaking little boy and his unruly subjects, which is exactly how Animal sees his life, save for a few additional drum solos.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: The Resurrectionist: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black, by E.B. Hudspeth
Let’s pause for a moment to consider the bevy of disastrous devices the good doctor has invented and then inflicted on Beeker: the electric nose warmer, an untested new element that causes cranial deflation, the germ enlarger, EXPLODING CLOTHES, and so on and on. This is a dark soul, despite his cheery, eyeless, melon-shaped noggin. As such, he’s likely found a new favorite in this part fictional biography, part textbook of Black’s descent into madness and his depraved experiments.

Beaker: The Odyssey, by Homer
Beaker’s life is one continual torment. Here he is having his scalp skyrocket from his head, getting cloned without his consent, being engulfed in flames from Dr. Bunsen Honeydew’s flammable water, and losing his nose after consuming poisonous paper clips. All of which, I believe, are trials Odysseus faces in the extended director’s cut of Homer’s epic.

Statler and Waldorf: A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens
They got way too much pleasure out of playing Marley & Marley in The Muppet Christmas Carol. And why not? It’s the story of how a grumpy old man’s life is changed by excessive heckling.

Rizzo: Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
What Rizzo wants most in life is to 1) Outlive most of his 1,274 brothers and sisters, and 2) Eat while doing it. He’s also got a bit of a soft side beneath that street-savvy exterior.

Pepe the King Prawn: It’s Hard Out Here for a Shrimp, by Pepe the King Prawn
Hey, you got to know where your bread is buttered, okay?

What books does your favorite Muppet like to read?