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Daly City, California, 1970
In the beginning, life was fun, life was exciting, and life was good. As a five-year-old, I was tender in age and yet I was cruel and mean. I was happy to watch my brother as he was beaten or forced to perform some disgusting punishment. It was exciting to watch. It is horrifying to remember.
I WANTED TO BELIEVE that we were a middle-class family in a middle-class San Francisco Bay Area suburb. The house was modest, as were all the houses on Crestline Avenue. There were four or five different styles of houses on the street. Each one was painted differently, and yet there was a pattern on the street that reminds me of the famous pastel houses of San Francisco's Rainbow Row. Our house was bright pink. The outside trim was pink; even the concrete steps were pink. Next door had a slightly different layout and was painted in two tones of brown. As you walked down the street, the colors of the houses would eventually repeat themselves to form a pattern. Every family on the street had pride in their yards and their houses.
There were two dozen kids on the street, and most of them were within a few years of me in age. The boys all had bicycles and who knows what the girls had. Who cared? They were girls. They didn'tplay football, basketball, or dodgeball; they were just girls. The boys would often ride bikes around the street in packs. Mostly to show off the new seats or handlebars they just got.
I recall particular early memories about Mom but very few about Dad. He just was seldom there. He was almost invisible. I remember Dad occasionally being in the house, but always in the background. I don't know if he had already moved out or if he was just never there anymore. It's almost as if he was a tenant, not participating in the lives of his kids. I'm not sure if it was always that way. Perhaps before I came along things were different. Maybe Dad and Mom were happy then. Maybe they were a real family then. I don't know. I don't have many other memories about my father. I simply didn't know him.
Mom made a show of nurturing "tradition" and "family." She worked very hard at making elaborate dinners and setting the table with Hawaiian tablecloths or Chinese dishes, stemware, and tableware, depending on what she created for dinner. I used to love sitting at the table with my own Chinese teapot and decorative dishes that only I used. Each of us had a set, and each one was a different pattern and color from the rest. Those table settings always made each of us feel special. From Hawaiian to Chinese to German themes and cuisine, Mom made dinner a special event. The table was usually set better than in most restaurants in San Francisco. Candles, linen napkins, and silver always made the dining table sparkle.
One of my best memories was constantly fighting with my younger brother, Keith, over a certain table setting. Whenever dinner was just plain baked ham, sweet potatoes, bread, corn, and applesauce, the table was set with the everyday dishes. There was one particular plate that had a chip out of the flower pattern and one fork that had a line near the top of the handle, as if something had melted a mark across the handle. Over the years Keith and I would fight over who would set the table. The rivalry over whose seat was set with the broken plate and fork was never-ending. Always in fun, but completely serious, we would swap knives and plates ten times behind each other's backs-even after the table was set. We mocked each other in defeat as dinner eventually started. The victor (whichever one of us ended up with the "broken fork" or "broken plate") shamelessly repeated:
"I got the broken fork. I got the broken fork."
Drive-in movies were always special events. One of the first movies I recall seeing was Disney's Bambi at the drive-in, and I was happy with the togetherness we shared as brothers. But camping was even more fun. We camped as a family-Mom, Ross, Scott, Keith, and me. Dad never camped with us, and I recall David on a camping trip only once. Nonetheless, their absence didn't change the fact that "the family" was camping. The five of us were "the family."
Mom had a habit of spontaneously announcing that we were going. Within two hours of the announcement, Mom and the boys had the car loaded and were off to one of the local campgrounds. Ross, Scott, Keith, and I would be sitting in the car waiting for Mom in high anticipation. It was always fun to be spontaneous; so many of my camping memories are vibrant and so real that they seem as if they occurred only yesterday. But sometimes, when I think back to those times, I can't recall the color of our sleeping bags or the color of the tent.
Some weekends, Mom would take us on day trips to the beach. The drive to Thornton Beach on the Pacific Ocean was short; it was only about twenty minutes from our house. The anticipation was too much for any five-year-old, and was overwhelming for me at that age. The beach was one of the few places we went as a family in public and were allowed to exercise the normal relationships shared among most brothers. Tossing a football from brother to brother was always part of the beach experience for us, and deliberately skipping one brother's turn just to start a fight was inevitable. Ross was about eleven, Scott was about eight, and Keith was a newborn.
When I think back to when all of us were living together, it is not clear if there were five boys or four. It was normal for Ross, Scott, and myself to be involved in some sport or game or brotherly challenge. David was rarely there. He was never allowed to play or speak to us. He was expected to be silent and only watch as the other boys played and shared with one another. Sometimes I remember David being there, and other times I don't. So many times he was left behind in the house, just not part of our daily lives. He was part of the background-something that you know is there but isn't important.
It has been difficult for me to force myself to remember David because I have buried those memories for so many years. As an adult, I am shocked to remember what was being done in that house. I am deeply ashamed of my own childhood participation in the horrific events. From my earliest memories, unspeakable acts of violence were happening in our family that I couldn't understand at the time. As a child, I didn't know that these acts never should have happened or been allowed to happen. The violence was a part of daily life before I can even remember.
The harsh truth is, my childhood was a lie. Beneath the surface our family was anything but normal. There were horrible secrets in the backs of each of our minds. We all knew what they were and yet never talked about them. We were afraid to.
Excerpted from A Brother's Journey by Richard B. Pelzer Copyright © 2005 by Richard Pelzer. Excerpted by permission.
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Posted May 18, 2009
i think that though it is a very touching book. this guy only wanted some of the "spotlight". his book is amazingly similar to dave's and he waited a long time before he had his published. if anything he simply re-wrote dave's story to fit him. i think its not very truthful and someone just wanted some attention.
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Posted October 26, 2008
Richard waited about 30 years after his brother's book to write this. Many of the things aren't true according to David's stories and despite the fact that there is a quote from David on the front, I don't believe it because David said he never talked to any of his brothers after the death of his mother and she died in the late 80s, early 90s and this book was published in 2005.<BR/><BR/>Although it is heart wrenching and sad, it resembles David's story all too much and I don't think that he should have waited this long if it were real.<BR/><BR/>David's books triumph this book any day and I believe Richard made the whole thing up for money.
3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 17, 2009
Posted January 22, 2006
although this has potential to be an interesting story, it is very poorly written. the guy is obviously not a professional writer. he also contradicts himself a lot, several times quite obvious mistakes that you would think one of the editors would've caught.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted March 18, 2012
I have mixed feelings about this book.
First off, it's a very sad story in itself. No child deserves to go through any type of abuse, EVER. He had to endure years of physical and mental abuse.
I can't imagine how he must have felt, and I know it's wrong to compare his abuse to his brother's abuse, because any abuse is bad. However, I feel like his perspective on his abuse is off (but who am I to judge?)
He says over and over in his book that he was just like his older brother David, his replacement, and this sort of ticks me off. He has a warm bed to sleep in. He gets fed. He's allowed to bathe and to play outside. He's got it good compared to what his brother went through. I know his life still sucked and that it was WRONG of his mother to treat him this way, but still...I don't think he was David's replacement. If he was, he would have gotten it way worse.
I do sort of feel as if he is trying to piggyback off his brother's success a little bit, by making his story seem to be a continuation of his brother's, when it is entirely different. The way he writes his story just confuses me...his words MAKE me compare him to his brother, because he keeps saying he's his replacement, but there really is no comparison because they are way different. He changes his story a bit here and there too, and it's real frustrating to read.
I'm glad he got out alive though, just like his brother..
I kind of think I would have liked this book more if it talked about David a little bit more and some of the things he and his brother saw/heard.
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Posted April 29, 2013
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Posted January 20, 2013
Posted October 18, 2012
I think this was a beautiful addition to his brother's book. I think Richard Pelzer did a wonderful job on this memior and was very careful not to try to step on his brother David's toes. He was looking for a way to have closure in his life too. The mother was evil and most people would wonder about David's siblings and what happened to them. This book also helped me understand how sick their mother really was. I would recommend this book to everyone. This book was hard to put down. Would love to one day find out what happened to the rest of the Pelzer children!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 12, 2012
"A Bother's Journey Surviving a Childhood of Abuse" is a sad story of a boy named Richard suffering a childhood of abuse. After David from "A Child Called It" left Richard replaced him and was tortured for several years bu his mother. Before David was taken away Richard acted like mother's "little Nazi." When David left Richard was terrified he was going to take his place but deep down inside he knew it was going to happen and he couldn't do anything about it. Richard spent most of his time avoiding his mother's beating while studying her every move from afar. Richard wanted an upper hand. He came to the conclusion that his mother suffered from a mental disorder and the drinking just made it worst. Mother always found a way to discourage Richard's hope and it worked. Richard felt alone in the world without anyone to help him. Richard's father, David and his older brother Ross had abandon him. He slowly began to loss hope and hated everyone. Everyone knew what was happening to him but no one did anything to help. Soon after Richard discovered that he was never going to win this war between his mother he committed suicide. All he ever wanted was for his mother to live him but that was never going to happen.
Posted January 17, 2012
As I read Dave Pelzer's books, I often wondered what his brothers were up to and whether they were also abused by their mother. Richard Pelzer's book is honest and emotional. He does not hold back and shares with the reader his most shameful thoughts.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 3, 2011
The abuse that Richard went through wasn't even a quarter to what his brother David went through, he deserved it for participating. He has some nerve to use his brother's story and try to make it look like his was equal! He was a part of the abuse. I ONLY feel bad for David. As far as I'm concerned, the money from this book should ALL go to David. Richard deserves nothing. Also, I hope that every single person who participated in the abuse or knew about David's abuse but ignored it, including the dad and brothers, should all be beaten and sent to hell.
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Posted September 15, 2011
I loved the story. It is so sad and breaks your heart but is so well written. I have read all his brothers books "A child called it" and so on. Its really nice to get another look at thier lives from another point of view. A must read if you have ever read A child called it. 4 thumbs up!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 30, 2011
Posted May 5, 2010
This book was amazing. The courage that it took to write a book like this and to relive all the horrid moments in his life is a feat in itself. So in depth you could almost picture what he went through. Hard to put this book down. I applaud Richard for the courage and strength that it took to write this book but moreso the courage and strength it took for what he lived. I cried for all that he endured.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 1, 2009
Posted July 4, 2009
This book was written from the brother of the author David Pelzer "Child Called it" and the book carries on from where things were left when David was taken away from the house. Davids brothers is the next to get "mothers" wrath. It is almost unbelieveable what these boys went through and barely survived. Very good series of books!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 8, 2009
I Also Recommend:
This book was a really good book. I found that it was better then ALL of Dave Pelzers books. This had a better point-of-view and more details. I found that it was crude what the mother did to her child but I bet it made him feel to good to give his side of the story.
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Posted July 16, 2008
I've read Dave Pelzer's memoirs so I was avid to read the memoirs of his younger brother. I read an editorial review that said that the story was horrific like a Stephen King novel. I don't know if I would go that far with the abusive accounts. If anything was horrific it was the abuse Dave Pelzer recieved by his mother. Besides that trivial point, they story was heart-wretching. Reading how Richard was beaten until he was unconscious was hard to read. I work in the social service field and I like reading memoirs like these because they give insight into the feelings and thought processes of the victims experiencing the abuse. Richard's memoir was very insightful into the mind of an abused child and I appreciate him taking the courage to write it down.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 12, 2008
Richard is an inspiring person and I find it very brave for both brother's to face their demons head on and share their story with the world. This book is a little different than the first....this brother fights back, deals with feelings of guilt. I can relate more with him. I recommend it.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.