The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family

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More About This Book

Overview

The true story of a marriage (not really), a lovable and relentless mother, a six-year old who says his parents cannot get married (but wants to go to the reception), a partner who doesn't want to act like a straight person, and the author, who has written a hilarious and poignant memoir about making "The Commitment."

There is no hotter issue than gay marriage in the culture-war debate, and Dan Savage, one of America's most outspoken and beloved columnists, takes it on and makes it personal in this rollicking memoir of coming to terms with the very public act of marriage. What he discovers will make readers--gay or straight, right or left, single or married--howl with laughter as well as rethink their notions of marriage and all that it entails.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
The author of the internationally syndicated column "Savage Love" brings much-needed humor, and a reality check, to the bitter gay-marriage debate with this polemical memoir. As Savage (Skipping Towards Gomorrah) and his boyfriend, Terry, neared their 10th anniversary, Savage's mother put on the pressure for them to get married. But, Savage notes, there were several other points to consider before deciding to tie the knot: among them, the fact that marriage doesn't provide legal protection in Washington State; Terry prefers tattoos as a sign of commitment; and their six-year-old son declared that only men and women can get married. Furthermore, Savage himself worried that the relationship would be jinxed by anything more permanent than a big anniversary bash, though the one they plan quickly assumes the proportions and price of a wedding reception. While documenting the couple's wobble toward a decision, Savage skewers ideologues, both pro- and anti-gay marriage, with his radical pragmatism. Disproving Tolstoy's dictum that "happy families are all alike," he takes a sharp-eyed, compassionate look at matrimony as it is actually practiced by friends, his raucously affectionate family and even medieval Christians. When he explains to his son what marriage is really about, you want to stand up and cheer, and the surprise ending is both hilarious and a tear-jerker. As funny as David Sedaris's essay collections, but bawdier and more thought-provoking, this timely book shows that being pro-family doesn't have to mean being anti-gay. (Sept.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
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From The Critics
Are Savage and his partner commitment-phobic? Or is contemporary America driving them to premixed margaritas and matching tattoos instead of the altar? An advice columnist ("Savage Love"), newspaper editor, and VH1 commentator, Savage grapples with the meaning of marriage, particularly gay marriage, and delivers a book that is part essay, part family memoir to explore the larger cultural issues as well as his own feelings: "It's hard not to see my grandparents' bride and groom figurines as a metaphor not only for their marriage-fragile something lasting, but with a little touch of fascism about it-but for the whole idea of marriage circa 1939. Back then you got married, and you stayed married." There's plenty of humor here as well, but don't expect David Sedaris or even the bite of Savage's sexual advice columns. Though he may sacrifice some artfulness for earnestness and is at times a little heavy with the cute comments from his precocious six-year-old, Savage is fearless at taking on the politics of gay marriage and is also brave enough, as readers will discover, to commit himself eventually to a significant decision with his significant other.-Laurie Sullivan, MLS, Nashville Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780452287631
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 9/26/2006
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 302,961
  • Product dimensions: 5.44 (w) x 8.08 (h) x 0.71 (d)

Meet the Author

Dan Savage
Dan Savage

DAN SAVAGE is the award-winning author of the internationally syndicated sex-advice column “Savage Love” and the editor of The Stranger, Seattle's weekly newspaper. His writing has appeared in the New York Times Magazine, the op-ed pages of the New York Times, Rolling Stone, The Onion, and other publications.

Customer Reviews
Average Rating 4
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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2005

    Against gay marriage? Read this book

    I loved how Savage was able to put a face on gay marriage by showing his readers his family. It becomes so much harder to demonize gay people when we see who is the target of this kind of discrimination. And besides the book itself is extremely funny, witty entertaining and insightful.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 2, 2006

    A SERIOUS GOOD TIME!

    Dan Savage's honest account of trying to marry the 'other father' of his child is funny, frustrating and most importantly filled with lots of love and laughter. It goes beyond the bounds of a gay love story and deals simply with two people attempting to justify their union in the face of a government who wants no part of them and a family who, for the most part, accepts them for what they are. That is, a couple in love with a precocious child who is wise beyond his years. After reading this book my partner of 26 years and I decided to 'make it legal' in Canada as well. Thanks, Dan!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 15, 2005

    A Great Book

    I read 'The Kid,' and loved it so when I was wondering through a DC bookstore and ran across this one I had to get it. It's a fast, funny, and insightful read. Highly recommend it.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 11, 2011

    Some funny parts, but mostly a rant about gay rights

    Dan and Terry have been a gay couple for ten years, they have a son together, and they plan to stay together forever, so why wouldn't they want to get married? Terry doesn't want to act like straight people and Dan is rebelling against his mother's oft expressed desires. They compromise on getting matching "Property of" tattoos and begin planning a 10th anniversary party that soon begins to feel suspiciously like a wedding reception. As the two of the struggle through their feelings about the institution of marriage and why or why not they might want to partake a slightly madcap adventure ensues.

    The Commitment is billed as a hilarious romp through the world of gay marriage. Instead it is mostly an angry rant about the restrictions and prejudices faced by homosexuals today. While I agree with all his points it felt a bit like having someone endlessly trying to convince me of something I already agree with. There were funny parts, many provided by their 6 yr old son DJ, but they just didn't balance out all the bitterness for me. I did enjoy the discussions he had with his siblings about their life choices, they all seem like very interesting and thoughtful people.

    I listened to The Commitment on audio, narrated by Paul Michael Garcia. He had a nice way of emphasizing the dry, sarcastic humor that occasionally comes through.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 3, 2010

    I LOVED "The Kid" - this book, not so much

    I adore Dan Savage, but if I wanted a sermon i'd go to church. This book is just too damned preachy for me. I LOVED his memoir "the kid" and could not put it down. This book, I put down and can't seem to pick back up. There's a good story woven into all of Dan's preaching and the story seems totally cool. I just can't get to it with all of the tantrums.

    Sorry Dan - I LOVE the podcast. I LOVED the other books. This one - not so much.

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