Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing

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More About This Book

Overview

Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.

DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061863264
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 1/19/2010
  • Pages: 315
  • Sales rank: 68,447
  • Product dimensions: 6.10 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Richard A. Warshak is a clinical professor of psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas. An international authority and consultant to parents and attorneys on divorce and parental alienation, Dr. Warshak has spoken at the White House, and his work has been featured in a PBS documentary and in media including The Early Show, Today, CNN, CTV, the New York Times, USA Today, Macleans, the London Sunday Telegraph, the Toronto Star, and Time.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xiii

A Note to the Reader xv

Introduction: Stealing The Soul xxvii

1 The Delicate Balance 1

The United Front

When Silence Is Not Golden

How to Distinguish Between Helpful and Harmful Criticism

2 Bad-Mouthing, Bashing, And Brainwashing 18

Bad-mouthing

Bashing

Brainwashing

Parental Alienation Syndrome

Children Who Resist Divorce Poison

3 Alienated Children 34

The Hate Campaign

Trivial Explanations for the Hatred

False Abuse Accusations

Polarizing Parents: Saints and Sinners

Parroting Adults

Declaration of Independence

Hatred by Association

Alienation Without Divorce Poison

Justified Alienation

Child-Driven Alienation

Understanding the Roots of Alienation

Is It Alienation or Not?

False Accusations of Parental Alienation

4 Malignant Motives 79

Poor Boundaries

Revenge

Narcissism

Guilt

Insecurity

Seeking Validation

Holding On with Hate

Paranoia

Reenactments

Hostility Toward the Children

Custody Litigation

Preventing Alienation During Custody Litigation

Remarriage

5 The Alienating Environment 124

Isolation

Relocation

Kidnapping

Stripping

Fear

6 The Corruption of Reality 142

The Name Game

Repetition

Selective Attention

Judging Behavior out of Context

Exaggeration

Lies

Concealing Contrary Facts

Revisionist History

The Total Change Theory

Suggestions and Innuendos

Exploitation

Projection

Rationalization

Holier Than Thou

With God on Our Side

"The Truth"

Overindulgence

Encroachment

Cloak and Dagger

Cognitive Dissonance

Conspiracy

Tamper-Resistant Packaging

7 Poison Control 199

Empathy

The Power of Indirect Communication

Fly onthe Wall

Two Steps Removed

Using Third Parties

Strike While the Iron Is Cold

Creating Bridges

Healing Experiences

Memorializing the Positive

The Way We Were

Sowing Seeds in the Psyche

Vacations

Divide and Conquer: The Value of Separating Siblings

Contagion Control: Helping Children Stay Neutral

With God on Our Side-Revisited

Agree to Disagree

No One's Perfect

Think for Yourself

Brainwashing 101

Films and Television

Become a Better Parent

Avoid Common Errors

Damage Control

Ann Landers's Reconciliation Day

8 Getting Professional Help 242

When To Call the Therapist

How Therapy Can Help

How You Can Help Your Therapist

Selecting Therapists

Conditions of Treatment

Child Custody Evaluations

Options for Healing Damaged Parent-Child Relationships

Hiring an Attorney

9 Letting Go 282

When To Let Go

How To Let Go

Staying in Touch after Letting Go

New Bridges

Alienated Children as Adults

Reconnecting with Adult Alienated Children

Coping with the Loss

Hope for the Future

Afterword: Restoring Lost Identities and Lost Relationships 298

Index 309

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 11 )

Rating Distribution

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(7)

4 Star

(3)

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2 Star

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Sort by: Showing 1 – 12 of 11 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2008

    Don't think this can't happen to you!

    This is a fabulous book. I have lived this for the last 3 years. It can and DOES happen. I believe all judges dealing with custody cases need to read this as they must be informed about parental bashing and brainwashing.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted August 7, 2002

    definantly worth a read, for parents or kids

    This book was excelent, it helped me get through a lot of probs i was having with my parents, specialy my dad. All in all i think i have become a better person since reading it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted October 10, 2011

    A Target Mother's Review - This book can heal heartache

    "Thank you so much for your book. I feel like I owe you so much more than the little I paid for your book. I am confident that by using the tools you present in your book, I will be able to rebuild my relationship with my little girl. It never ever made sense to me why my little girl would be so upset and terrified at the thought of coming with me, yet my other children have very good relationships with me, as does every other child I have in my life. Now, thanks to you, my heart will not be broken into pieces when she expresses fear and hatred towards me. I will understand what is happening, and I will have the tools to counteract it."

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2011

    Awesome read

    This book has given me more insight and understanding about what my ex has done and is still doing w our teenage son. The advice is helpful and has given me back some hope re a healthy relationship w our son. I highly recomend this book for anyone going thru a divorce w children.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted May 7, 2010

    A Must For Anyone going through divorce that has children

    I was turned on to this book after being divorced for 11 yrs and I wish I really would have known about it at the time. It is a great book and I think anything that can give you insight as to how to take care of your children in a responsible way is good. If you by this book you will not regret it. I am not even a third of the way through it and I have learned alot...

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2008

    Eye Opening About an Ugly Reality

    Parental Alienation has happened to me too, and NO I was not an abusive father, but a hard-working, supportive, loving, caring and pro-feminism father. This book opened my eyes as to what was happening with my children after divorce. I learned why any effort to keep in touch with my children was seen as threatening intrussion by their mother, and why the relationship with my children was destroyed. Many will attack this book because of political reasons, without realizing that both men and women are now victims to this tragedy. If you are a parent who has lost contact with your children, this book is a MUST READ. It will let you know what is happening and how to cope with it. Once you have bought it, and I hope for the sake of your own sanity you do, WRITE A REVIEW for others to know that this ugly truth DOES HAPPEN, to MEN and WOMEN.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2002

    Moms, this can happen to you too.

    If I had this book seven years ago, I would have been able to save my relationship with my daughter. This book is a very real picture of what happens to children when an ex decides to manipulate children for his own selfish motives, with absolutely no regard for what will happen to the children after the alienation is complete.An absolute must read for parents who are divorcing,or have divorced.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

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    Posted January 24, 2010

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    Posted February 4, 2009

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    Posted January 28, 2011

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