The Naked Earl

( 208 )

Overview

He Took Her By Surprise

When a naked earl climbs through the window into her bedchamber, Lady Elizabeth Runyon does the proper thing: She screams. Loudly. And then…well, Lizzie has had enough of being proper. She wishes to be bold. Wanton, even. She won’t be commanded to put on her nightgown. Just this once, she will be absolutely daring...

She Returned The Favor

Robert Hamilton, Earl of Westbrooke, has no ...

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Overview

He Took Her By Surprise

When a naked earl climbs through the window into her bedchamber, Lady Elizabeth Runyon does the proper thing: She screams. Loudly. And then…well, Lizzie has had enough of being proper. She wishes to be bold. Wanton, even. She won’t be commanded to put on her nightgown. Just this once, she will be absolutely daring...

She Returned The Favor

Robert Hamilton, Earl of Westbrooke, has no intention of being tricked into marriage by a detestable female, and if he has to flee naked across a rooftop, he will. Jolly good there’s an open window waiting--as well as an undressed, slightly drunk, and alluringly beautiful Lady Elizabeth. Oh dear. If they are caught together, he might have to marry her. The idea is delicious -- and the temptation is irresistible...

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

MacKenzie continues her spicy Naked series (following last year's Naked Marquis) with another ribald Regency, this time centering on a country house party full of the punch-drunk loveless. When voluptuous, overbearing Lady Felicity Brookton wakes Robert Hamilton from a sound sleep, he knows his bachelorhood is in danger. In no time, he's up and out the window—without a stitch of clothes—and ducking into the quarters of Lady Elizabeth Runyon—also, coincidentally enough, entirely in the nude. Robert knows Elizabeth as the little sister of his best friend, and therefore off limits, but he doesn't yet know about Elizabeth's long-simmering infatuation with him. As Robert seeks to avoid temptation, as well as the further advances of Felicity, other romantic entanglements wind through the crowd. Desperate to produce a male heir before her elderly husband dies, the duchess of Hartford seeks the services of handsome young Lord Peter, arousing jealousy in party host Baron Tynweith. Further complications arise when Felicity and one of Elizabeth's rejected suitors join forces; will Robert be able to protect Felicity and redeem himself, despite his guilt, doubt and mortifying erectile dysfunction? Providing plenty of heat and hilarity, MacKenzie has great fun shepherding this boisterous party toward its happy ending; readers will be glad they RSVPed. (Apr.)

Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781420114102
  • Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corporation
  • Publication date: 6/1/2010
  • Format: Mass Market Paperback
  • Pages: 352
  • Sales rank: 1,013,875
  • Product dimensions: 4.10 (w) x 6.70 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Read an Excerpt

The Naked Earl


By Sally MacKenzie

ZEBRA BOOKS

Copyright © 2007 Sally MacKenzie
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780821780756


Chapter One

Robert Hamilton, Earl of Westbrooke, was a light sleeper. His eyes opened the moment his mattress shifted. He turned to see what had caused the disturbance.

Two very large, very naked breasts dangled in front of his nose. Damn! He looked up to see to whom they belonged. Lady Felicity Brookton. She gave him an arch look as she drew in her breath to scream.

Bloody hell.

He bolted from the bed and leapt for the window. There was no time for such niceties as breeches or shoes. Once Lady Felicity started her caterwauling, the entire house party would be banging on his door. He'd be securely caught in parson's mousetrap, condemned to face Lady Felicity at the breakfast table every morning for the rest of his life.

Could there be a more succinct description of hell?

He swung his leg over the sill and dropped down onto the roof of the portico as she emitted her first screech. The sharp surface cut into his bare feet, but the pain was nothing to the panic raging in his chest.

He had to get away.

Thank God he had scrutinized the view from his window when he'd arrived at Tynweith's house party. He'd made a habit of looking for escape routes since the ladies of the ton had gotten so persistent. If they only knew.... Well, if he was forced to flee naked from his bed perhaps it was time to do something. A discreet rumor judiciously planted should deter most marriage-minded maidens. He glanced back at his window. Or perhaps they would be happy to have his money and title without having to pay for them in his bed.

He shivered as an early spring breeze rushed over the portico. He couldn't stand here like a nodcock. At any moment one of Tynweith's guests would respond to Felicity's screams, look out the window, and wonder what the Earl of Westbrooke was doing standing naked in the night. He snorted. Hell, all of Tynweith's guests would assume they knew exactly what he had been doing, and he'd be as securely caught as if he'd stayed between his sheets.

It was much too long a distance to the ground to consider jumping. He had not quite reached that point of desperation.

Felicity screeched again. Someone shouted. He scanned the other windows that faced the portico. There, at the end-flickering candlelight showed an open window. He sprinted for it, hoping the room's occupant was male.

Lady Elizabeth Runyon stood naked in front of her mirror, hands on hips, and frowned at her breasts. She tilted her head, squinting at them through her right eye and then her left. Bah! They were small, puny little lemons next to Lady Felicity's lush, ripe melons. No corset in England could make them more impressive.

She turned sideways, grabbing the bedpost to steady herself. Perhaps this angle was more complimentary?

No.

A gust of cool air blew in from her open window, sliding over her skin, causing her nipples to tighten. She covered them with her hands, trying to push them back into place.

She had an odd tingly feeling, as if a vibrating harp string ran from her breasts to her ... her ...

She took her hands off her body as if burned. She should put her nightgown back on and climb into bed. Pull the covers up to her chin, close her eyes, and go to sleep. She would if the room didn't swirl so unpleasantly when she did so. She grabbed for the bedpost again.

That last glass of ratafia had definitely been a mistake. She wouldn't have taken it if she hadn't been so bored. If she had to listen to Mr. Dodsworth drone on about his stables one more time ... It was drink or scream. The man hadn't had an original thought-or any thought that did not involve prime bits of blood-since her come out three years ago.

She leaned against the bedpost. How was she going to survive another Season? Seeing the same people, hearing the same conversation, tittering over the same gossip. It had been exciting when she was seventeen, but now ...

Was it possible to die of ennui?

And Meg was no help. Lud! She'd finally persuaded her friend to leave the weeds of Kent for the wonders of London, and Meg turned out to be as big a bore as Dodsworth. Her topic of verbal torture was horticulture. Shrubbery. Damn shrubbery. If Meg had her way, she'd spend every moment in the shrubbery-and not with a gentleman bent on seduction.

Lizzie scowled at the bedpost. She should have poured that last glass of ratafia over Robbie's head. That would have livened things up. Ha! She pictured the looks of horror that would have adorned the assembled ton if Lady Elizabeth Runyon, sister of the Duke of Alvord, pattern card of respectability, had caused such a scene.

At least she would have gotten Robbie's attention. She'd wager next quarter's pin money on that.

She looked at her mirror again. It was very daring standing here naked. She straightened, letting go of the bedpost. Perhaps she should be daring this Season. Wanton, even. Playing by the rules hadn't gotten her what she wanted-whom she wanted-so she'd break them.

She put her hands back on her breasts. She sighed. The poor little things barely filled her palms-they would be lost in Robbie's larger hands.

Mmm. She half-closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip. Robbie's hands. His long fingers, his broad palms. On her skin.

She felt very daring indeed. More than daring-hot. She rubbed her thumbs over her nipples. The harp string started vibrating again. She licked her lips, arching her hips, spreading her legs slightly so the breeze might find and cool her where she most needed cooling.

What would it feel like if Robbie touched her there?

Her hand slid down her body.

"My God!"

A male voice, hoarse and strained. She screamed as her eyes flew open. Robbie's reflection was staring at her in the mirror. Robbie's very naked reflection.

She spun to face him, grabbing the bedpost to keep from falling. The room shifted unpleasantly, then righted. She blinked. Yes, Robbie was still there, still naked, standing just inside her window.

She had never seen a naked man before, except in paintings or statues. She stared.

Art did not do reality justice. Not at all.

Then again, perhaps no artist had ever had a model quite as splendid as Robbie.

He looked so different from the civilized London lord she had left downstairs. He was larger. Well, obviously, he could not have grown simply by shedding his clothes, but it certainly seemed as if he had. His neck, freed from yards of muffling cravat and concealing collar, was a study in angles and shadows. And his shoulders ... How had they fit into his coat?

She never would have guessed he had hair sprinkled across his chest. Golden red hair dusting down to his flat stomach, then spreading out below his navel around ...

Oh, my.

She'd never seen that in any artwork. The ... appendage was long and thick and stuck straight out.

How did he hide it in his pantaloons?

Lizzie looked back at Robbie's face. It was far redder than his hair. Could he be injured? The blacksmith's thumb had swollen to twice its size when he'd hit it with his hammer. Had Robbie bumped this part of his anatomy climbing in the window?

"Are you in pain?" She glanced at her bed. "Lie down. I'll get a wet compress."

He made a short noise that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a moan and jerked around to slam her window shut, pulling the curtains tight.

"No, I'm not in pain. Where's your nightgown?"

"Are you certain?" His back was almost as beautiful as his front. She studied his tight buttocks. She would love to touch them. "You sound like you are in pain."

"Just tell me where your blood-blasted nightgown is." He turned back to her, jaw clenched, eyes focused on her face. "Better yet, just put it on. Now."

Lizzie did not care for the note of command in his voice.

"No. I don't want to. I'm hot." She flushed. "Very hot." Uncomfortably hot. And damp. Wet, really. She moved her hand down to be certain she wasn't dripping.

"God, no." He caught her before she reached her stomach. His fingers-thick, warm-encircled her wrist. She needed them somewhere else. Her breasts ached; her nipples had tightened into hard pebbles.

He shook her arm slightly. "Put on your nightgown."

He sounded a bit desperate.

She shook her head. She could smell him now. She inhaled deeply. He smelled of Robbie. She giggled. Silly, but true. It was a musky, spicy scent, stronger now that it wasn't muffled by layers of clothing.

His eyes kept darting looks at her breasts. She felt them swell with his attention. She needed to rub them against the hair on his chest.

Who cared about a nightgown? She didn't want a nightgown. She wanted his body against hers. His skin on hers. Everywhere. She panted slightly. She was certain a puddle of need was forming at her feet.

She reached for him.

"Lizzie!" He grabbed her other hand, holding both wrists in a firm grip.

"Let me go." She jerked back. His grasp was gentle but unbreakable. Well, she knew how to get free. She had an older brother. She wasn't above telling a small lie if necessary. "You're hurting me."

He released her at once.

"Ah!" She lunged, but he caught her by the shoulders.

"Lizzie, you're bosky."

"N-no, I'm not. I just want to touch you. Please? Just let me touch you." His arms were too long. No matter how much she stretched, she could not reach his body.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. Now put on your nightgown."

"I think it would be a splendid idea." She lunged again. No luck. "Why won't you let me touch you?"

"Because besides the fact that you appear to be thoroughly foxed, I'm certain there are going to be people at your door and quite possibly your window any moment now. You don't want them to find us like this, do you?"

She hiccupped. "Yes, I do." She lurched toward him again. If she didn't feel his body against hers soon, she would cry.

Robbie gave an odd little growl. "You wouldn't say that if you were sober."

"Yes, I would." She stopped fighting and touched him where she could reach. The muscles in his arms were warm rocks. She could barely get her fingers around his forearm. She stroked his wrist with her thumb and saw sweat bead on his upper lip. She wanted to lick it off.

"I love you, Robbie. I've loved you forever."

His jaw tensed. "No, you haven't."

"Yes, I have."

He shook his head. "Hero worship. Calf love."

"No. Kiss me. You'll see."

He rubbed his face on his arm, wiping off the sweat. "There's no time for that, Lizzie."

"Yes, there is. Kiss me."

"Lizzie." His hands clenched on her shoulders, but gentled when she drew in a sharp breath. "Lizzie, please. If I'm found here, the scandal will be beyond belief. James will kill me."

"No, he won't. You're his friend."

Robbie snorted. "You're his sister. Trust me. He will kill me."

"I don't see why. He met Sarah naked, didn't he? How can he complain?"

"That's different."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is, and if you weren't so foxed you would see that. Now put your nightgown on."

"All right, but you'll have to let me go. I can't put it on with your hands in the way."

"True. Just don't-"

Robbie loosened his grip too soon. Lizzie closed the distance between them in one step and threw her arms around his waist.

"Lizzie!" He moved almost as quickly, dropping his hands to her hips, pushing them back.

She had forgotten about his swollen part. She didn't want to hurt him, but she so ached to feel his entire body against hers. What she could feel felt very, very good. Her hands played over his back, running up and down his warm, smooth skin. She pressed her cheek against his chest and heard his heart pounding. She found a drop of sweat trickling down between his nipples and licked it, running her tongue up the trail to his neck.

"Lizzie!"

"Mmm?" His hands on her hips were wonderful, but they were too still. She tried to wiggle, to encourage his fingers to roam. Perhaps she could show him the way. She slipped her own hands over his buttocks and around to his stomach, careful not to touch ...

"Lizzie!" Robbie leapt back as if scalded.

"Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." She glanced down and smiled in relief. "No, see-you're better. The stiffness and swelling are almost gone. You should be able to tuck your ... um, well, you should be able to tuck it into your pantaloons now."

"God, Lizzie."

Lizzie frowned, looking up. Robbie's mouth was so tight a muscle jumped in his cheek. His eyes looked ... haunted.

"Robbie, I-"

She jumped. Someone was banging on her door-and someone else was banging on her window.

"What ...?"

"Your company has arrived." Robbie grabbed her shoulders, turned her, and pushed her toward the bed. "Get your nightgown on."

Bloody hell. Lizzie was not moving quickly enough. And she was clearly half-seas-over. Did she grasp the seriousness of the situation? No. She was sitting on her bed, staring at him. Staring at a particular part of him.

At least she had stopped grabbing him.

More banging. Whoever was hitting the window might manage to break it if Lizzie didn't get her nightgown on soon.

He snuffed out the candle, leaving the room lit only by the banked fire in the hearth. Perhaps darkness would help her concentrate on the matter at hand.

"Put on your nightgown."

"Hmm?"

"Lizzie, you need to put on your nightgown now. You have to answer the door." He reached to help her-and encountered a soft breast.

"Mmm."

Good God, the girl was purring. If only ... No, he wouldn't think of it. It was impossible. Completely im-

"Lizzie!" He tried to keep his voice down, though with all the door and window pounding, he could have shouted and not been heard over the din. "Lizzie-yikes!"

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her fingers away from where they had wandered.

"Did I hurt you? You're swollen again."

"Lizzie, just put your nightgown on and get the door. Please?"

She huffed and the small puff of air tickled over his stomach.

"All right. Will you touch me again after they are all gone? It felt so good."

Damn. He balled his hands into fists. He really would like to hit something. He tried to keep his voice calm.

"We'll see. Now be a good girl and put on your nightgown." Louder banging on the door and some muffled shouts. At least James wasn't here. He was at Alvord, awaiting the birth of his second child. "Hurry. The door first. Try to look as if you've just woken up. And remember, I'm not here."

"Not here. Right."

He watched her take her first steps toward the door, then he jumped onto the bed, pulling the curtains closed.

Betty, Lizzie's maid, must sleep like the dead, he thought. Hell, she must be dead if this racket hadn't woken her. Of course, that was assuming she was in her bed at all. More likely she was with his valet somewhere. It was no secret those two would like to make a match of it. Collins had certainly hinted about it enough. Robbie was beginning to fear for his life when the man shaved him each morning.

Betty and Collins would be merry as grigs if he wed Lizzie. Well, he would be, too, but it would never happen. He sighed. When he had seen her, standing naked in front of her mirror, the candlelight making her skin glow, her hand sliding down her curves to exactly the place he most wanted to be ...

He buried his face in the pillow. A mistake. He inhaled her scent and grew even harder.

He stifled a moan.

The door had swung open. Light and the babble of voices flooded the room. Only a miracle would keep him from detection.

He prayed for a miracle.

"He's here, isn't he? I know he's here." Lady Felicity Brookton, clad in a pistachio-colored dressing gown, pushed Lizzie aside and stepped into the room, holding a candle high. "Where are you hiding him?"

"Um." Lizzie blinked, staring out her door. Half the house party had assembled in the corridor.

"Someone is knocking at the window." Lady Caroline, the daughter of the Earl of Dunlee, maneuvered her ample bulk across the room and opened the curtains. "Oh, look! It's Lord Peter."

"Let him in." Lady Felicity peered inside Lizzie's wardrobe.

"Um." Lizzie wished she could think. That last glass of ratafia had definitely been ill-advised. Her head felt as if it were stuffed with cotton wool.

She couldn't let them find Robbie. He didn't want to be found. She watched Lady Felicity light all the available candles. How was she going to stop them? There were only so many places to look.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from The Naked Earl by Sally MacKenzie Copyright © 2007 by Sally MacKenzie. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 208 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(61)

4 Star

(75)

3 Star

(35)

2 Star

(19)

1 Star

(18)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 208 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 19, 2011

    Worst Historical Romance I've ever Read

    the characters were weak, lifeless, and pathetic. The Earl traumatized from teasing 10 years earlier is unable to have sex so refuses to offer for his true love...please, a 28 year old, supposedly handsome, charming, and wealthy Earl who has had sex twice in his life because someone teased him about his little noodle! If I had to hear about his poor limp noodle one more time I was going to be physically ill myself! Can't perform yet all the ladies are trying to trap him into marriage. There are even whispers that he prefers men. Definately not my kind of leading man! What a wooos!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 11, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    ugh...

    Nothing to write home about. I normally love Ms. Mackenzie's books but this one fell flat. I felt she developed the character well...well until the 3rd chapter than the rest of the book was rushed. I truly felt why should I CARE about these characters. Truly a let down. Save yourself some $$. If you are set on this author go read, "The Naked Duke".

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    amusing nineteenth century romantic romp

    Sleeping naked and alone at the Tynweith house party, Earl Robert Hamilton was awakened when two large naked breasts hovered over his nose. Instantly realizing what Lady Felicity Brookton had in mind as she prepared to scream, he jumps out the window. He climbs through another bedroom window that of Lady Elizabeth Runyon, who is a bit tipsy and naked too while admitting to him she loves him. --- Though troubled by jumping from the fire into the frying pan, Robbie thinks that Elizabeth is desirable. As he considers how to convince him they belong together, he finds himself drooling over his vision of her naked boobs. While Felicity plots, Robert and Elizabeth fall in love, but is a naked encounter enough for a permanent relationship. --- As with THE NAKED DUKE, THE NAKED EARL is an amusing nineteenth century romantic romp that readers will relish. The story line strips away all pretenses of the Ton as the lead couple matches up quite nicely in and out of the boudoir. Historical romance fans will appreciate the fun frolics of the naked lady and her naked gentleman while seeking previous series tales (see THE NAKED DUKE and THE NAKED MARQUIS). --- Harriet Klausner

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 21, 2014

    Lewd

    Lewd is the only word to eplain this book. Had to skip through quite few chapters in order to complete this book. Very disturbing. Will not recomend this book to anyone, even iyf its free.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 24, 2013

    Super dumb heroine

    I dont condone rapist. However, I begin to question the intelligence of the victim after a couple crucial mistakes:
    1) its probably not the best idea to venture alone with someone you have a bad feeling about and want to avoid
    2) if you cant defend yourself, you might want to stay close to people who can defend you
    3) thinking 15 minutes of stupidity leads to no consequences
    I honestly cannot feel any sympathy to a 20 yr old woman who cannot understand these simple principles. The heroine throughout this novel showed little common sense and really there was very little chemistry for the main couple. Boring read and a waste of time

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 14, 2011

    Bad

    This book contains sodomy, attempted rape, impotence, whips, chains, and relentless unwanted groping....mixed with endless droning, boring conversations. I don't know how anyone could succeed at making a book lousy with those topics, yet she does anyway. Limited romance. I want my time and money back. Terrible.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2011

    Love the series

    Read one of the series and got them all. Waitng for the newest one so I can read it too

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  • Posted April 25, 2011

    Only a staid read.

    After reading The Naked Duke, I was expecting much more. Ms. McKenzie's use of eep, ack ugh and other supposed expressions by Lizzie gets a bit boring. Good read for a rainy day but I wouldn't recommend to my book club. Also, I found it boring that Robbie had a problem performing sexually. The characters got to be a bit boring and Lady Felicity chasing Robbie did nothing for the plot.

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  • Posted February 21, 2011

    do not waste your time

    title says it all.

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  • Posted January 9, 2011

    Terrible Read!!!

    This book had so many subplots it was difficult to keep up with them all. There were too many undeveloped characters and just too many characters in general. I vehemently disliked this book! To be quite honest I feel two stars was more than generous. I would not recommend this book to anyone and can't believe it was actually published.

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  • Posted August 30, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Too many Characters to keep up with

    I kept having to go back and re-read because there were just too many characters. Which ultimately left the characters that I was most interested in undeveloped. Still it wasn't bad. There were some pretty steamy scenes.

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  • Posted July 20, 2010

    Absolutely not romantic and not intriguing.

    The book's best feature is its cover. The characters are ridiculous (really) and often annoying and the plot takes an unbeaten path for a romance only to reaffirm the reader's notion that strong, archetypal males have their place in the romances for a reason.

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  • Posted March 22, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    So Much Better Than I Expected

    Okay, so I read a title like "The Naked Earl," and I'm figuring that this one is going to be romance for romance's sake and nothing more. I've rarely been happier to be wrong.

    Sure, Robbie shows up nake in Lizzie's room in the first chapter, but they manage to keep their clothes on for most of the rest of the book. The relationship that grows and blossoms between these two is unforgettable and I'm sure you'll enjoy it as much as I did. MacKenzie weaves and intriguing tale that you'll burn for until the very end.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 14, 2007

    Not as great as I thought it would be

    This book was not great. I am not a writer, but yes I love to read. I felt this book was okay from the begining to the very ending. I felt the story line was a little boring and not enough action. When I read a book it plays like an actual movie in my mind (when the character is happy, I can see it-- when the character is sad, I can see his/her pain-- the book usually will tie everything together nicely). This book played like an actual movie, but a very slow one.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 2, 2007

    good start, then downhill

    This book looked very promising. It turned extremely lame in the ending. The heroine is far too sheltered for the roles that she is given. The plot has possibilities that are not met. It was disappointing. The author shows promise.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 6, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 17, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 29, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 7, 2011

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