Saving Alex: When I Was Fifteen I Told My Mormon Parents I Was Gay, and That's When My Nightmare Began

by Alex Cooper, Joanna Brooks

Overview

“Ripped-from-the-headlines. . . . Alex’s story is gripping as she comes across as a reliable witness against the cruelties of so-called reparative therapy.” —The Bay Area Reporter

When Alex Cooper was fifteen years old, life was pretty ordinary in her suburban town and nice Mormon family. But something was gnawing at her that made her feel different. These feelings exploded when she met Yvette, a girl with whom Alex fell quickly in love.

Alex knew she was holding a secret that could shatter her family, her church community, and her life. Yet when this secret couldn’t be hidden any longer, she told her parents that she was gay, and the nightmare began. She was driven from her home in Southern California to Utah, where, against her will, her parents handed her over to fellow Mormons who promised to save Alex from her homosexuality.

For eight harrowing months, Alex was held captive in an unlicensed “residential treatment program” where she was physically and verbally abused. Many days she was forced to stand facing a wall wearing a heavy backpack full of rocks. With the help of a dedicated legal team in Salt Lake City, Alex eventually escaped and made legal history in Utah by winning the right to live under the law’s protection as an openly gay teenager.

Saving Alex is a bold, inspiring story of one girl’s fight for freedom, acceptance, and truth.

“Alex Cooper's story is a call to action.” —Chad Griffin, president, Human Rights Campaign

“[A] heart-wrenching, suspenseful memoir.” —BUST Magazine

“A brave and important book.” —Robbie Rogers, author of Coming Out to Play

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062374622
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	03/19/2024
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	256
File size:	911 KB

About the Author

Alex Cooper made legal history in Utah by winning the right to live under the law’s protection as an openly gay teenager. Now twenty-one, she lives in Portland, Oregon.

Joanna Brooks is an author and recognized expert on Mormonism and gender and LGBT issues, and Associate Vice President for Faculty Affairs at San Diego State University.

Table of Contents

Prologue: Dead Bud 1

1 Families Are Forever 3

2 Cracks in the Plan 8

3 Just This One Girl 16

4 Opening Up 23

5 "Get Out. Just Go!" 35

6 Welcome to Utah 44

7 I'm Going to Be Here a Long Time 51

8 "You Think You're Gay, but That Is Not How God Made You" 68

9 Free to Choose 79

10 The Burden of Homosexuality 86

11 Invisible 93

12 Giving In 122

13 Going Back to School 145

14 Can't Take Another Day 164

15 Safe 177

16 Going Home 193

17 Standing Strong 217

18 Moving On 230

19 Sharing My Story 238

Acknowledgments 247

Resources for Families 248

Editorial Reviews

Alex Cooper’s story is a call to action - we must put a stop to this brutal practice of conversion therapy and ensure that every child is embraced for who they are in their homes, schools and communities.” — Chad Griffin, President, Human Rights Campaign

“Alex’s engrossing and shocking story is the triumph of courage, authenticity and hope over shame, bigotry and ignorance. The nightmare of Alex’s story is a key reason we will soon succeed in ending the cruel and dangerous practice of conversion therapy.” — Kate Kendell, Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights

“In her new memoir, author Alex Cooper recounts her grisly experiences with reparative, or ‘gay conversion,’ therapy as a teen. Cooper’s book, Saving Alex, details the ‘exhausting and humiliating’ time she allegedly spent at a home in St. George, Utah.” — Huffington Post

“Heart-wrenching, suspenseful. Alex’s hopeful story is a testament to the power of solidarity and compassion and a measure of how far our society has come. But it is also a chilling reminder that thousands in the U.S. are still subjected to deplorable conditions inside ‘gay conversion programs’ today” — BUST Magazine

“In this deeply personal book, Alex Cooper recounts her teenage years undergoing conversion therapy after her parents, devout Mormons, discovered she was gay. The story is riveting.” — Mother Jones

“Ripped-from-the-headlines books often seemed forced, but not here. Alex’s story is gripping as she comes across as a reliable witness against the cruelties of so-called reparative therapy. Because of her bravery, LGBTQ teenagers in Utah don’t have to undergo what Alex endured.” — The Bay Area Reporter

“Saving Alex is a sobering reminder of the unresolved trauma still out there.” — Queerty

“The suspenseful, well-written account of Alex’s eight months of ‘reparative’ therapy makes for compelling reading. Alex’s horrifying story is one that needs to be heard, and her book is an eloquent testament to that. It is encouraging proof that, as Alex is told, things do get better.” — Booklist (starred review)

“An affecting memoir. The positive ending to her story calls all readers to do more for vulnerable youth. Without offering any easy reconciliation between homosexuality and faith, Alex’s story provides an example of how to not be consumed by anger and hate toward an abusive version of religion.” — Publishers Weekly

“A 21-year-old gay woman is telling the harrowing tale of abuse and humiliation she faced at the hands of gay conversion therapists in Utah in her book Saving Alex.” — Logo NewNowNext

“Alex Cooper fought a fierce battle for dignity, identity and family. Her courage led the State of Utah to recognize the fundamental human rights of gay teenagers. An inspiring story of a queer youth discovering her courage and raising her voice. In so doing, she liberates us all.” — Troy Williams, Executive Director, Equality Utah

“Expressive, moving, and honest. . . Cooper’s story demonstrates how it is still possible to endure and prevail.” — Kirkus Reviews

“Alex’s story is a gripping example of the reality too many LGBT youth face across the country. I am grateful Alex has shared her story, so others can see the dangers of ‘conversion therapy,’ and learn what LGBT youth need most of all: unconditional love and support.” — Congresswoman Jackie Speier

“I empathize with Alex’s fear of losing everything important to her, but Alex’s story will help pave the road for more young people to accept who they are, and hopefully for families to understand how to better love their gay and lesbian children. A brave and important book.” — Robbie Rogers, professional soccer player for LA Galaxy and author of Coming Out to Play

“I have seen far too many cases in which young gay people approach their religious family or church leaders and ask for bread but receive a stone. Saving Alex contributes toward saving the lives and dignity of our LGBTQ children, and saving the souls of our families and religions.” — Carol Lynn Pearson, author of Goodbye, I Love You: The True Story of a Wife, Her Homosexual Husband, and a Love that Transcended Tragedy

“Saving Alex is sure to become a clarion call to LGBT teens everywhere.” — The Toronto Star

“Exposes the stark reality of family rejection for LGBT youth while sharing the resilience, courage and resolve of a brave young woman to reclaim her life. We at the Family Acceptance Project know how to help families to support their LGBT children; this book will help us do that.” — Caitlin Ryan, Director, Family Acceptance Project

“Alex’s story is all too true for far too many LGBT young people who face a hostile family, religious tradition, or both. Thankfully, this is also a story of a brave young woman who received crucial support and expert legal assistance to retrieve her dignity, independence, and her family.” — Mary Bonauto, Civil Rights Project Director

“It may have taken a dramatic case like the abuse that Alex Cooper suffered to bring this issue to the Mormon Church’s attention, but the reality is that it’s not just reparative therapy programs utilizing ‘abusive practices’ that need to go; it’s all of them.” — Religion News Service

“Saving Alex is a courageous memoir that tells Alex’s story in the hopes that it will bring awareness and justice to this important issue. A bold, inspiring story of one girl’s fight for freedom, acceptance and truth.” — BookReporter.com

“As important as it is to tell the dark truth about conversion therapy, it is just as important that Alex’s story has a happy ending. The message that LGBT kids can survive conservative religious contexts could not be more timely.” — Religion Dispatches

“I saw this book’s description and I couldn’t stop myself from signing on. The cruel hypocrisy and her family’s consent to torture is dispiriting, but Alex focuses on freedom, both the physical and spiritual, as hard as she can.” — Edge Publications

“I commend Alex… her book is full of reflections and resolutions.” — Patheos Friendly Atheist

“Alex Cooper is gay, and at 15, she was brave enough to come out to her strict Mormon parents. Alex’s parents sent her to a gay conversion house [where she] was harassed and abused, all under the guise of “curing” her. Now, she is fighting to ban gay conversion therapy.” — Seventeen.com

“SAVING ALEX raises the issue of what we can do to protect the rights of people who seek only to love whom they will. Cooper emphasizes the hopeful elements in her nightmarish experience: you are never alone; there is always help. May inspire others to try to find that help.” — Bookreporter.com

“The story line in this autobiographical book, Saving Alex, would make a great soap opera. But the power of Alex’s story is in her strength and stamina in adversity, and the resolution wherein she finds peace with her parents.” — Association of Mormon Letters

“Cooper was subjected to emotional and physical abuse at an unlicensed treatment center. These examples show how dangerous it is, still, to identify as LGBT in the United States, not only because hate crimes and speech are rampant, but because LGBT individuals are often a danger to even themselves.”  — The Spectrum

From the Publisher

In this deeply personal book, Alex Cooper recounts her teenage years undergoing conversion therapy after her parents, devout Mormons, discovered she was gay. The story is riveting.

Mother Jones

In her new memoir, author Alex Cooper recounts her grisly experiences with reparative, or ‘gay conversion,’ therapy as a teen. Cooper’s book, Saving Alex, details the ‘exhausting and humiliating’ time she allegedly spent at a home in St. George, Utah.

Huffington Post

Ripped-from-the-headlines books often seemed forced, but not here. Alex’s story is gripping as she comes across as a reliable witness against the cruelties of so-called reparative therapy. Because of her bravery, LGBTQ teenagers in Utah don’t have to undergo what Alex endured.

The Bay Area Reporter

The suspenseful, well-written account of Alex’s eight months of ‘reparative’ therapy makes for compelling reading. Alex’s horrifying story is one that needs to be heard, and her book is an eloquent testament to that. It is encouraging proof that, as Alex is told, things do get better.

Booklist (starred review)

Alex Cooper’s story is a call to action - we must put a stop to this brutal practice of conversion therapy and ensure that every child is embraced for who they are in their homes, schools and communities.

Chad Griffin

A 21-year-old gay woman is telling the harrowing tale of abuse and humiliation she faced at the hands of gay conversion therapists in Utah in her book Saving Alex.

Logo NewNowNext

Heart-wrenching, suspenseful. Alex’s hopeful story is a testament to the power of solidarity and compassion and a measure of how far our society has come. But it is also a chilling reminder that thousands in the U.S. are still subjected to deplorable conditions inside ‘gay conversion programs’ today

BUST Magazine

Saving Alex is a sobering reminder of the unresolved trauma still out there.

Queerty

Alex’s engrossing and shocking story is the triumph of courage, authenticity and hope over shame, bigotry and ignorance. The nightmare of Alex’s story is a key reason we will soon succeed in ending the cruel and dangerous practice of conversion therapy.

Kate Kendell

Saving Alex is sure to become a clarion call to LGBT teens everywhere.

The Toronto Star

Exposes the stark reality of family rejection for LGBT youth while sharing the resilience, courage and resolve of a brave young woman to reclaim her life. We at the Family Acceptance Project know how to help families to support their LGBT children; this book will help us do that.

Caitlin Ryan

Alex’s story is all too true for far too many LGBT young people who face a hostile family, religious tradition, or both. Thankfully, this is also a story of a brave young woman who received crucial support and expert legal assistance to retrieve her dignity, independence, and her family.

Mary Bonauto

I empathize with Alex’s fear of losing everything important to her, but Alex’s story will help pave the road for more young people to accept who they are, and hopefully for families to understand how to better love their gay and lesbian children. A brave and important book.

Robbie Rogers

As important as it is to tell the dark truth about conversion therapy, it is just as important that Alex’s story has a happy ending. The message that LGBT kids can survive conservative religious contexts could not be more timely.

Religion Dispatches

Saving Alex is a courageous memoir that tells Alex’s story in the hopes that it will bring awareness and justice to this important issue. A bold, inspiring story of one girl’s fight for freedom, acceptance and truth.

BookReporter.com

I commend Alex… her book is full of reflections and resolutions.

Patheos Friendly Atheist

The story line in this autobiographical book, Saving Alex, would make a great soap opera. But the power of Alex’s story is in her strength and stamina in adversity, and the resolution wherein she finds peace with her parents.

Association of Mormon Letters

Alex Cooper fought a fierce battle for dignity, identity and family. Her courage led the State of Utah to recognize the fundamental human rights of gay teenagers. An inspiring story of a queer youth discovering her courage and raising her voice. In so doing, she liberates us all.

Troy Williams

It may have taken a dramatic case like the abuse that Alex Cooper suffered to bring this issue to the Mormon Church’s attention, but the reality is that it’s not just reparative therapy programs utilizing ‘abusive practices’ that need to go; it’s all of them.

Religion News Service

Cooper was subjected to emotional and physical abuse at an unlicensed treatment center. These examples show how dangerous it is, still, to identify as LGBT in the United States, not only because hate crimes and speech are rampant, but because LGBT individuals are often a danger to even themselves.” 

The Spectrum

I saw this book’s description and I couldn’t stop myself from signing on. The cruel hypocrisy and her family’s consent to torture is dispiriting, but Alex focuses on freedom, both the physical and spiritual, as hard as she can.

Edge Publications

Alex Cooper is gay, and at 15, she was brave enough to come out to her strict Mormon parents. Alex’s parents sent her to a gay conversion house [where she] was harassed and abused, all under the guise of “curing” her. Now, she is fighting to ban gay conversion therapy.

Seventeen.com

I have seen far too many cases in which young gay people approach their religious family or church leaders and ask for bread but receive a stone. Saving Alex contributes toward saving the lives and dignity of our LGBTQ children, and saving the souls of our families and religions.

Carol Lynn Pearson

SAVING ALEX raises the issue of what we can do to protect the rights of people who seek only to love whom they will. Cooper emphasizes the hopeful elements in her nightmarish experience: you are never alone; there is always help. May inspire others to try to find that help.

Bookreporter.com

Alex’s story is a gripping example of the reality too many LGBT youth face across the country. I am grateful Alex has shared her story, so others can see the dangers of ‘conversion therapy,’ and learn what LGBT youth need most of all: unconditional love and support.

Congresswoman Jackie Speier

2015-12-17
A memoir of a lesbian Mormon who stood up for her rights. When 15-year-old Cooper told her parents that she was gay, she had no idea she would cause a tidal wave in her Mormon family and community. "I can see how terrifying it must have been, for my mom especially," she writes, "because our religion told her there was no place for people like me, no place in the faith and the community that held her world together, and no place in God's plan." Unable to deal with the issue, the author's parents sent her to Utah to live with a strict Mormon family who swore they could change and "cure" her of her homosexuality. Their treatment methods were abusive, both physically and verbally, and Cooper struggled to survive each day for the eight months she had to live with this couple and their family. The author's prose is expressive, honest, and moving as she writes about how she battled to balance her own sense of faith and acceptance of her sexual identity with the strong tenets being forced upon her, which excluded gay people completely. Surrounded by Mormons who believed the couple was doing the right thing and ignored Cooper's pleas for help, she had to draw on inner strengths that she didn't know she had. Eventually, she managed to find help from other gay people hidden in the community and outside the state of Utah. Cooper's story demonstrates how a strong belief in any religion can cause people to do great harm to other humans simply because that religion justifies their methods and actions. It also shows how it is still possible to endure and prevail. The traumatic and illuminating events suffered by a teenage girl who dared to say she was gay in a religious community that doesn't readily accept homosexuality.

Kirkus Reviews