Short Circuits

I went the other day into the beautiful home of my two good
friends, the Hespeler-Hyphen-Joneses, and I paused a moment, as my
eye fell on the tall clock that stood in the hall.

"Ah," said Hespeler-Hyphen-Jones, "I see you are looking at the
clock--a beautiful thing, isn't it?--a genuine antique."

"Does it go?" I asked.

"Good gracious, no!" exclaimed my two friends. "But isn't it a
beautiful thing!"

"Did it ever go?"

"I doubt it," said Hespeler-Hyphen-Jones. "The works, of course,
are by Salvolatile-...