Twitter Wit: Brilliance in 140 Characters or Lessby Nick Douglas
New York Magazine proclaims, "Twitter is the hot web company right now...the Next Big Thing;" the New York Times calls it "one of the fastest-growing phenomena on the Internet;" Time magazine claims "Twitter is on its way to becoming the next killer app;" and Newsweek notes that "Suddenly, it seems as though all the world's a… See more details below
New York Magazine proclaims, "Twitter is the hot web company right now...the Next Big Thing;" the New York Times calls it "one of the fastest-growing phenomena on the Internet;" Time magazine claims "Twitter is on its way to becoming the next killer app;" and Newsweek notes that "Suddenly, it seems as though all the world's a-twitter."
Since its creation in March 2006, Twitter has unleashed a torrent of self-expression from its six million members around the world, who send and read each others' "tweets," messages up to 140 characters in length. Friends use the site to make plans; relatives use it to stay connected; politicians use it to lobby for votes; and humorists use it to perfect their craft. In fact, Twitter users have reinvented the classic medium of the witticism in a site where anyone can be a Dorothy Parker or an Oscar Wilde.
Twitter Wit is the first compilation of Twitter aphorisms, with submissions ranging from quotidian vignettes like "I bet in Sweden the Ikea instructions are in English" to bumper sticker-type quips like "I think the bird of love is the dove. My husband thinks it's the swallow," and contributors ranging from celebrities like Shaquille O'Neal, Jimmy Fallon, Penn Jillette, John Cleese, and Steven Fry to regular people with previously unappreciated sharp tongues. Featuring a foreword by Twitter co-founder Biz Stone, this authorized anthology of the thousand most most clever and memorable "tweets" relates the diversity of human experience in hilarious bite-sized pieces.
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Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less
What's the deal with deaf people? Like, HELLO?
My half-brother has spent twenty-five years saying "Marijuana's not addictive!" Now he's shortened it to "Where's my phone?"
It's the postproduction phase of eating fast food that takes the experience all downhill.
I attribute most of my good days to a -couple of -people with voodoo dolls canceling each other out.
Bummer: Found out today the faithful dog I had as a boy was only CGI'ed in.
I haven't had anything left for Lent since 1993 when, at Arsenio's urging, I gave it up for Marlon Wayans.
That's ok. I've been meaning to clean that table with a full glass of water for a while.
I wish LA was really as pretty as they made it look in "Blade Runner."
It's happened: I have developed real emotions for my iPhone. Actually, it's no surprise, because I was raised by a TV and a microwave.
I get really uncomfortable when people ask embarrassing questions about sex. Like: "Is that it?"
They should really start teaching young girls in school just how valuable their virginity is and the websites where you can legally sell it.
My 9yo hopes Santa brings a PS3. He'll be comforted to know the box of disappointment under the tree has another year of free rent inside.
Haven't shaved in so long that I scratched my cheek and an ex-girlfriend tumbled out. No, that's a tapeworm.
Whenever I see the word"Chicagoland" I envision a cold theme park where everyone is eating sausages and looks like Mike Ditka.
Doc says I'm as healthy as a horse. Well, a horse that smokes. But still.
I get the impression that the Fat Acceptance movement is more about acceptance than it is about movement.
Fauxboes: The annoying kids on Haight Street that endlessly harass you for money.
I'm sure the gin we drank last night was off. Feeling a bit ill this morning. The tequila might have been off too. And the cocktails.
I've got my health! Woo-hoo. (My grandmother was totally right.)
I am talking about music, which is a series of sounds they put behind television advertisements in your country.
I fell victim to a Fonzie scheme. My financial advisor kept flashing me the thumbs-up and saying "Aaaaay!" And calling me "Richie."
Every morning I wake up and think, "Don't let it slip about Darth Vader being Luke's dad." It's hard having a 5 yr old who doesn't KNOW.
"Did you just fart?" "Well, I didn't *just* fart; there was pageantry and tradition."
So many input boxes. Ever go to search for a girl on Facebook and set her name as your status instead? Yeah, I just did that.
We are men of coffee, sleep does not become us.
Oh so we have to be all cryptic and call them "magic" brownies but we can come right out and say pot pie?
Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less. Copyright © by Nick Douglas. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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