What Would Kinky Do?: How to Unscrew a Screwed-Up World

Overview

Kinky Friedman, who would be our contemporary Will Rogers if Will Rogers had been Jewish, smoked cigars, and foolish enough to believe he could govern the great state of Texas, returns with this collection of hilariously raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always insightful essays. With fearless wit and wisdom born from many a late night’s experience, Kinky offers both pearls and cowpats that touch on life, death, and everything in between.

Considering the current predicament of ...

See more details below
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (24) from $1.99   
  • New (8) from $7.24   
  • Used (16) from $1.99   
What Would Kinky Do?: How to Unscrew a Screwed-Up World

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$7.99
BN.com price

Overview

Kinky Friedman, who would be our contemporary Will Rogers if Will Rogers had been Jewish, smoked cigars, and foolish enough to believe he could govern the great state of Texas, returns with this collection of hilariously raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always insightful essays. With fearless wit and wisdom born from many a late night’s experience, Kinky offers both pearls and cowpats that touch on life, death, and everything in between.

Considering the current predicament of our nation and the world at large, the question is, “What would Kinky do?” His answers invoke Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland, George Bush, and other cultural touchstones; reflect on Texas etiquette, smoking in bars, mullet haircuts, immigration policy, and how Don Imus died for our sins; and advise on how to handle a nonstop talker on a long flight, how to deliver the perfect air kiss, and what to do when a redneck hollers “Hey y’all, watch this!”

Whether he’s “the new Mark Twain” (Southern Living), “in a class with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, and, yes, Henny Youngman” (The New York Post), “a Texas legend” (President George W. Bush), or “the Mother Teresa of literature” (Willie Nelson), Kinky Friedman is an outrageously funny and uncommonly smart observer of our common predicament: life and what to do about it.

A little friendly advice from “Texas for Dummies”

*Get you some brontosaurus-foreskin boots and a big ol’ cowboy hat. Always remember, only two kinds of people can get away with wearing their hats indoors: cowboys and Jews. Try to be one of them.

*Get your hair fixed right. If you’re male, cut it into a “mullet” (short on the sides and top, long in the back—-think Billy Ray Cyrus). If you’re female, make it as big as possible, with lots of teasing and hair spray. If you can hide a buck knife in there, you’re ready.

*Buy you a big ol’ pickup truck or a Cadillac. I myself drive a Yom Kippur Clipper. That’s a Jewish Cadillac—-stops on a dime and picks it up.

*Don’t be surprised to find small plastic bags of giant dill pickles in local convenience stores.

*Everything goes better with picante sauce. No exceptions.

*Don’t tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Singer-songwriter-humorist Friedman, author of more than 20 books (including Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned and You Can Lead a Politician to Water, but You Can't Make Him Think), now offers a collection of his Texas Monthly columns plus new essays. These musings ("the leftover lyrics of my life on the road") get an added boost from 20 outrageous drawings by the gutsy quadriplegic cartoonist John Callahan. What emerges can be satirical and evocative, as in his chapter on car radio music at night: "You're blowing through Dripping Springs, and the hills are dark shadows; the highway's just a ribbon in the hair of a girl you used to know." Free-flowing and free associative, occasionally punctuating with puns, he targets topics from Jack Ruby and Michael Chabon to Texas etiquette and politics. Kinky's writing here is funny, focused and hugely entertaining. (July)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312561048
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 7/7/2009
  • Edition description: First Edition
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 288
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author

Kinky  Friedman

Kinky Friedman is a country music singer, politician, Texas Monthly columnist, the author of a successful mystery series, and was a candidate for governor in Texas in 2006. He wants to take things back to a time when the cowboys all sang and their horses were smart.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents


Acknowledgments     xiii
A Message from the Author     xv
Introduction     1
Advice on Life, Death, and Everything in Between     5
Unfair Game     7
Arrivederci Melanoma     11
A Pocket Guide to Mullets     16
The Five Mexican Generals Plan     22
Bring Him On     25
Epilogue     30
Strange Bedfellows     32
I Don't     36
Zero to Sixty     41
Tennis Anyone?     46
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes     55
My Personal Heroes     61
The Navigator     63
Don Imus Died for Our Sins     67
Animal Heroes     72
Tangled Up in Bob     80
Poly-Ticks     85
Two Jacks     90
Hero Anagrams     95
Ode to Billy Joe     96
The Back of the Bus     100
Lottie's Love     108
Advice on Writing     113
Killing Me Softly     115
Fictional Characters Killed Off by Their Creators     120
Talent     124
Strange Times to Be a Jew: Notes on Michael Chabon's Latest Novel     129
Don't Forget     134
A Tribute to Me     142
What Would Kinky Read?     149
Questions From a British Journalist-1999     153
Does Not Compute     159
Advice on Going on a Journey     163
Texas for Dummies     165
Never Travel with an Adult Child     169
How to Deliver the Perfect Air Kiss     179
Let Saigons Be Bygones     183
Wild Man from Borneo     188
Mad Cowboy Disease     193
Cliff Hanger     197
Robert Louis Stevenson in Samoa     202
Watch What You Sing     209
Advice on Coming Home     215
A Little Night Music     217
God's Own Cowboys     220
Shoshone the Magic Pony     223
The Hummingbird Man     228
How To Handle a Nonstop Talker in a Post-9/11 World     233
Social Studies     238
Gettin' My Goat     243
Change, Pardners     255
Coming of Age in Texas     260
Romeo and Juliet of Medina     264
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)