10 Classics Retold by Other Characters

The Lion, the Witch, and the Little Girl Who Got Me Turned into a Statue (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as told by Mr. Tumnus)
All he wanted was a relaxing day at home with a nice, hot cup of tea, but then she showed up.

In Want of a Wife, or Have I Asked You Yet about Lady Catherine? (Pride and Prejudice as told by Mr. Collins)
There’s nothing wrong with being rejected once or twice. It builds character. At least, that’s what Lady Catherine says.

The Kind-of-Okay Carraway (The Great Gatsby as told by Jordan Baker)
All I’m saying is, if Daisy is going to make Jordan put up with her meathead husband and her try-hard lover all summer, the least she could do is set her up with a decent date.

Wait, You’re Not a Dude? (Twelfth Night as told by Duke Orsino)
Act II, Scene 5, Line 112: “Look Viola, you’re really lovely. It’s just that I’m pretty sure you’re not my type. By which I mean, you’re a girl, and I was really only feeling this when I thought you weren’t.”

I Swear, Traffic Is Really Bad (Waiting for Godot as told by Godot)
Because I know we’d all love to hear if Godot has a good excuse for keeping his friends waiting for an eternity. And who knows, maybe traffic is bad.

What, This Kid Thinks He’s Our King Now? (Where the Wild Things Are as told by the Wild Things)
Yeah, sure. Another white guy in funny clothes shows up out of nowhere and declares himself the sovereign lord of the local natives. Like we haven’t heard that story before.

Veruca and the Horror Factory (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as told by Veruca Salt)
Sure, watching the other kids get sucked up a tube and turned into a blueberry was bad, but the real horror here was that no one would buy Veruca a trained squirrel. Can you imagine?

The Old Man and Our Son’s College Tuition (The Old Man and the Sea as told by Manolin’s parents)
Yes, it’s sweet that Manolin wants to keep taking care of his old fisher friend. But you know what would be sweeter? Actually bringing home a fish to sell at the market, that’s what.

Moby D-Awesome (Moby Dick as told by Moby Dick)
What, a crazy old guy chases a peaceful, totally rare white whale around the world just so he can stab it to death and the whale is the jerk here? Right.

The Fellowship of Thieves, The Two Lying Hobbitses, and the Return of My Precious (The Lord of the Rings as told by Gollum)
“We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!” I’ll give him this: he did have it first.
What classic book do you want a new take on?