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Coming Out Is Complicated In These YA Books
Every year on October 11 we celebrate National Coming Out Day, a 28-year-old holiday that encourages LGBTQ+ people to come out to their loved ones. Last year, we recommended a mix of books, songs, and videos to help and encourage teens struggling to come out. But coming out is more complicated than one holiday, and for a variety of reasons, not every person is able to be—or wants to be—open with all of their loved ones right now. That’s why, on this National Coming Out Day, we’re featuring YA books in which the protagonist doesn’t come out to everyone close to them—and that’s okay.
That a queer person is still closeted does not mean they are unhappy or unworthy of a happy ending. And as many queer people will tell you, coming out is a much less consistent process than is sometimes portrayed in books. Months or years might pass between the first and second person you come out to. The composition of who knows your true sexuality or gender is also less intuitive than many novels suggest: your parents or best friend don’t always come first. Everyone who follows you on Twitter or Tumblr might know you’re queer, for instance, and you might talk about it all the time, without having told anyone from your in-person life. Or you might be an extremely proud and happy queer person who has not come out to your parents. There are all kinds of configurations, and coming out is not necessarily a predictor of happiness. Though National Coming Out Day encourages those who are comfortable sharing their sexuality or gender to do so, not every teen has reached that point, so today we want to highlight a few YA books in which the protagonist, by the end, does not tell all of their loved ones “I’m bi” or “I’m trans” or “I’m asexual,” for their own reasons.
Anything Could Happen by Will Walton
Tretch’s life is complicated: his family doesn’t know he’s gay, and neither does the girl who’s crushing on him. His school bully, however, seems to have an inkling. And he has fallen in love with his straight best friend, a boy who’s developing feelings for someone else. Anything Could Happen explores difficult issues of relationships and sexuality with a sharp wit, a plethora of Ellie Goulding songs, and, of course, lots of shameless bedroom dancing.
The Year of Ice by Brian Malloy
Since the death of his mother, nothing has been the same for Kevin. He no longer connects with his dad, who’s rarely there for him anyway. He starts dating girls he doesn’t truly have feelings for to hide from his friends the fact that he’s gay. And as soon as his aunt comes to town, he discovers dark secrets about his mom’s death—secrets that reveal that it was not an accident.
Tumbling by Caela Carter
The U.S. Olympics Gymnastic Trials are here, and five girls—Grace, Leigh, Camille, Wilhelmina, and Monica—are fighting to qualify for the biggest event in sports. But the competition bleeds into their everyday lives, and each girl has to hide her own secret in order to win: One competitor hasn’t been eating. Another is simply living out her parent’s dream. And a third has to cover up her sexuality. Riddled with riveting internal politics, Tumbling is a must-read for anyone captivated by sports dramas and Olympic gymnastics.
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If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan
If You Could Be Mine centers on Iranian girls Nasrin and Sahar. Over the years, their friendship has blurred into a clandestine romance, and they resolve to spend their lives together. But when Nasrin turns 17, her parents announce they’ve found her a husband, a wealthy doctor. Though Nasrin insists this won’t be the end of their relationship, Sahar refuses to continue loving Nasrin in secret. Desperately, Sahar turns to the possibility of sex reassignment—in Iran, homosexuality is illegal, but gender reaffirming surgery is not.
All of these books end (in their own ways) on hopeful notes, and in all of them the protagonists choose not to explicitly come out to certain people close to them. Happiness, after all, is not premised on coming out to everyone.
For more awesome queer YA novels you should check out in honor of National Coming Out Day, read our previous LGBTQ+ recommendation lists, including books for queer people of color and those for specific queer identities—including posts on bisexuality and spotlights of books featuring trans and intersex characters. (Our friends at YA Interrobang also did a roundup of novels with characters on the asexual spectrum.) Here also is a list of YA books featuring accurate, positive portrayals of LGBTQ+ people.