Making Memories With Food and Opinionated Toddlers: An Exclusive Guest Post (and Recipe!) From J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, Author of Every Night Is Pizza Night

Growing up my favorite breakfast was a Japanese dish called Tamago Kake Gohan. My grandmother would make it for us when my sisters and I slept over at her house. She’d take a bowl of hot rice, drizzle it with soy sauce, break an egg into it, then beat it with chopsticks until the egg was cooked from the heat of the rice and the whole mixture got a texture that’s simultaneously frothy and light, yet custardy and rich.
This simple dish is now my four-year-old’s most-requested breakfast.
Toddlers are opinionated, and just like adults, they long for a sense of control. They want to know that their feelings are respected and that their opinions are valued. My goal when writing Every Night is Pizza Night was to create a character whose story challenged her basic assumptions while empowering her to change those assumptions on her own. The original idea was a much simpler story about a girl who traveled around the world while being introduced to new cultures through the lens of food. The story came to take on its secondary theme — about the value of diverse opinions and neighborhoods — through many long conversations with my illustrating partner Gianna and our editors.
As an adult, I find experiences much more rewarding when there is a story involved. Songs are more interesting when we place them in the context of an album or the musician’s other work. Art gains meaning when we understand the life of the artist. Likewise, a meal is more interesting if we know where the food came from or understand its cultural or personal significance.
In Every Night Is Pizza Night, Pipo is convinced that pizza is the best food in the world. When cajoling her to try new foods doesn’t work, her parents convince her to explore her neighborhood and discover for herself whether pizza really is the best. As she meets new neighbors, tastes new foods, and hears stories about what makes each food the best, she discovers that the word “best” is not quite as simple as she thought it was. She returns home determined to try new things with a gusto that she would not have had if she hadn’t come to conclusions on her own.
For my daughter, I have always strived to help her write her own stories and find meaning in ways that appeal to her. When it comes to dinner, this food story could be as matter-of-fact as how the carrot gets from the produce aisle to the shopping cart to the checkout lane and home. This story is way more interesting when she gets to pick the carrot herself! It could be a story about the life cycle of a plant. She never ate as many cucumbers as when we planted a seed together and watched it grow, and she’s already excited for the tomatoes we’re going to grow this summer.
It could be the short story of how the food was cooked. A pre-solids infant lying (safely!) on the counter can smell ingredients you hold up to their noses and get used to the sounds and rhythm of a kitchen. A helper stool and a small mortar and pestle are great first tools for any toddler big enough to stand, and even a three-year-old can handle a sharp knife or stir a pan with supervision (and an “it’s OK to accidentally cut or burn yourself from time to time” attitude).
Or it could be a story your Papa tells you about how his grandmother made a special Japanese breakfast for him. (At our house these days, Every Morning is Tamago-Kake Gohan Morning).
Tamago Kake Gohan 
Serves 2 to 3
Time: 3 minutes
Note: As this dish includes a raw egg that cooks only from the residual heat of the rice, for safety, the rice must be piping hot (at least 200°F). Freshly cooked rice out of the rice cooker works fine. If you have fridge-cold rice, the best way to reheat it is in the microwave. Microwave the rice at full power for 2 to 3 minutes, mixing once a minute, until it is very hot.
If you prefer, you can use a very soft-boiled egg (2 minutes in boiling water), or a pasteurized raw egg.
Ingredients:
2 to 3 cups of cooked rice (see note)
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon of soy sauce
Salt
Optional:
shredded nori or furikake for seasoning
Combine hot rice (see note), eggs, soy sauce, and a pinch of salt in a medium bowl and stir vigorously with chopsticks or a fork as if you are beating eggs for scrambled eggs. The mixture should become light and frothy but flow slowly like risotto as the egg heats up and coats the rice. Season to taste with more soy sauce or salt, sprinkle with shaved nori or furikake (if using), then serve.