A Fate Worse Than Drowning: A Guest Post by Sarah L. Hawthorn

The first phone note that formed the foundation for my debut novel, A Fate Worse Than Drowning, was simple: Sister runaways become lighthouse keepers in a haunted lighthouse?

I wanted to write a feminist, Faustian tale with local folklore woven into its gothic atmosphere. Thanks to the help of my local library and archive, my book bloomed in this early phase.  I researched local history and dove down rabbit holes. This was my first historically set project and I loved putting the pieces together like a puzzle. I found lighthouse keeper logs, a fantastic thesis on the history of Devils Island, and tales about hauntings and devil sightings on the island. Elements of real local history merged with the themes I wanted to write about: Complicated sisterhood, patriarchal horrors turned demonic, queerness in a historical context, and how fear can rot love. Every limitation felt more like a creative challenge than a roadblock.

I pushed myself to write a villainous protagonist you love to both root for and against; to explore elements of gender fluidity and sexuality through the lens of two (repressed) young people; and to craft two parallel romances that felt distinct yet complementary. What started out simple became a spiral of victims and villains, drawn together because of and despite themselves.

In an “everyone knows everyone” Maritimer moment, I learned I am distantly related through marriage to a real past lighthouse keeper of Devils Island: My husband’s aunt’s great-grandmother’s brother!

Lighthouses have a beautiful, haunting atmosphere. I’ve seen a lot of them! Even my author photo is in front of a Fresnel lens from the old Sambro Light. Lighthouses are beacons of hope and danger in equal measure, beckoning the tired from long journeys while also warning of nautical danger. Which makes it all the darker when that light is intentionally turned off for something lurking beneath the lighthouse to unfurl and feast.

I lived in Kingston, Ontario while I wrote this book, mid-pandemic and working in a hospital. I desperately missed my family, friends, and surprisingly, the ocean. So, I wrote about two sisters who missed their home too. Liney, younger by 6 years, missed parties, flowers at the market, and gossiping with friends across church pews. Elle, the elder, missed what could have been if not for the choices her parents, ex-fiancé, and the Devil himself made that shaped a poisoned world in which she could no longer stay confined. Liney also yearns for freedom, while Elle searches for safety. Liney becomes the reason behind every wrong choice Elle makes. Turning a person into an excuse for your actions tends to go south, quickly.

I love these girls in all their complicated relationships to freedom, sacrifice, prayer, love, murder, queerness, and each other. I hope to have written them as people first, no matter what horrors they perform or survive. Elle has fiery loyalty and deeply burning fear, while Liney has a thawing heart and wind in her sails. I leave them in your hands.