Zachary Zane . . . has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. Accessible, engaging, and genuinely hilarious, these essays are as titillating as they are educational.”—Buzzfeed, Most Anticipated LGBTQ+ Book of 2023 DAN SAVAGE, sex columnist and New York Times bestselling author BILLY PORTER, actor, singer, and author ALLISON RASKIN, podcaster and New York Times bestselling author R. ERIC THOMAS, national bestselling author JACOB TOBIA, national bestselling author Booklist Publishers Weekly Kirkus
As charming as it is singular, Zachary's voice is one that is sorely needed in culture. His honesty, candor, analysis, and erotic chaos are a blessing to us all.
national bestselling author JACOB TOBIA
"From sharing how a sex toy saved his love life to detailing his polyamory journey, Zachary Zane, a sex columnist for Men’s Health and Cosmopolitan US , has made his name in witty entries about his life. A self-described “memoir and manifesto” Zane pours his life lessons into easy, accessible essays, tackling subjects of bisexuality, STIs, sexual shame and much more. You’ll put down Boyslut having learned a little more about the ways we discuss sexuality and, thanks to Zane’s colourful anecdotes, enjoy some sex-positive storytelling."
GAY TIMES, The 10 best LGBTQ+ books of 2023 - Zoya Raza-Sheikh
An exercise in shamelessness (that’s a point of pride for Zane and should not be read as an insult), the book details the vast sex life of the bisexual writer. Most fascinating, I thought, was the casual way it traced Zane’s sexual evolution, from considering himself straight to bicurious to bi to polyamorous. Landing on an identity need not be one’s final stop–it can be just the step before the next one, and part of the point of life (at least in my opinion) is to keep growing. Come, watch Zachary Zane grow.
"Companionable, astute, hilarious, honest, and heartfelt."
Cocky, comic, and clearly heartfelt, Boyslut offers a vision of non-toxic modern masculinity that allows for all the quirks, kinks, and fetishes one’s dirty mind desires.”
[A] lively examination of all things sexual . . . His observations are lucid, fearlessly candid, informative, and, well, wise. This doesn’t mean they are in any way didactic—they're always accessible, often funny, and, best of all, they leave the reader with the admonishment that “being kind doesn’t cost you a dime.”
Zachary Zane is one of the best sex writers working today. He has a unique ability to balance humor with a deep appreciation for the vulnerability and humanity of his subjects. And reading about Zane’s own sexual adventures is like getting invited to Sunday brunch by your wittiest, sluttiest, funniest friend and getting to listen to him recount his crazy weekend.”
sex columnist and New York Times bestselling autho DAN SAVAGE
Zachary is so adept at creating and maintaining exuberant and generative community in spaces that typically feel isolating or forbidding. In the same way, his writing is an invitation that bridges divides. I live for his verve, his no-holds-barred revelations, and his wisdom.
national bestselling author R. ERIC THOMAS
Zachary Zane . . . has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. Accessible, engaging, and genuinely hilarious, these essays are as titillating as they are educational.”
Most Anticipated LGBTQ+ Book of 2023 Buzzfeed
02/06/2023
Sex columnist Zane (coauthor, Best. Sex. Ever. ) calls for an end to sexual shame in this revealing if uneven memoir. He starts by recounting a mostly nonreligious upbringing that nevertheless left him feeling deep-seated sexual shame, driven partly by severe OCD and intrusive thoughts. While at Vassar, he moved beyond heterosexual hookups with the aid of alcohol and cocaine, and after coming to terms with his bisexuality, he pursued his prodigious sexual appetites (by his count, he has had around 2,000 partners). He intercuts accounts of his exploits with insightful discussions of rejection, assumptions about bisexuality, and the benefits (strengthening queer community) and drawbacks (promoting infidelity and fetishization) of gay hookup apps. Zane recounts coming to terms with his vomit fetish and his discovery, while in a polyamorous relationship, that he might be fraysexual (someone primarily attracted to people they do not know well). His arguments about the complications of bisexual visibility are particularly salient, though his cavalier anti-condom attitude and his at-times smug humor (“I’m working on screwing an Oscar winner to achieve my sexual EGOT”) might alienate readers. Zane pushes the envelope, but the results aren’t always worth the work. (May)
In a world where sexuality and masculinity are often misunderstood and conflated, Zachary Zane manages to use his own unique experiences to knock down stigmas and expand what it means to have a healthy relationship with sex. His honest approach is a welcome reprieve from the messages of our youth and his self-exploration not only encourages but enables us to do our own.
podcaster and New York Times bestselling author ALLISON RASKIN
Zachary Zane . . . has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. Accessible, engaging, and genuinely hilarious, these essays are as titillating as they are educational.”
24 of the Most Anticipated LGBTQ+ Books of 2023 BUZZFEED
Zachary Zane is a FABULOUS queer writer and thinker who’s doing the Lord’s work by promoting bi-visibility, teaching the children about polyamory, and helping the LGBTQ+ community—and really, all people—learn how to become their best authentic selves.”
An exercise in shamelessness (that’s a point of pride for Zane and should not be read as an insult), the book details the vast sex life of the bisexual writer. Most fascinating, I thought, was the casual way it traced Zane’s sexual evolution, from considering himself straight to bicurious to bi to polyamorous. Landing on an identity need not be one’s final stop–it can be just the step before the next one, and part of the point of life (at least in my opinion) is to keep growing. Come, watch Zachary Zane grow.
[A] lively examination of all things sexual . . . His observations are lucid, fearlessly candid, informative, and, well, wise. This doesn’t mean they are in any way didactic—they're always accessible, often funny, and, best of all, they leave the reader with the admonishment that “being kind doesn’t cost you a dime.”
Cocky, comic, and clearly heartfelt, Boyslut offers a vision of non-toxic modern masculinity that allows for all the quirks, kinks, and fetishes one’s dirty mind desires.”
"Companionable, astute, hilarious, honest, and heartfelt."
2023-03-04Men’s Health explores his erotic identity in a series of spicy biographical vignettes.
Though Zane was raised in a liberal, queer-affirming household, he “still struggled with being bisexual, polyamorous, and horny all the time.” He reveals a consistent struggle with OCD and extensively discusses his burgeoning same-sex desires while at Vassar, boosted by the “powdered courage” of cocaine. The author succeeds at candidly detailing and measuring the value of his sexual exploits. These episodes interplay nicely with perspectives on pornography, rejection theories, the pros and cons of gay hookup apps, and the unabashed promotion of intensive psychotherapy for readers to “delve deep, tackling the root of your shame and insecurities.” For neophytes, Zane provides an enlightening glossary of common and lesser-known sexual terminology—e.g., fraysexual , someone who “experiences sexual attraction toward those they are not deeply connected with and loses attraction as they get to know an individual.” He also vividly describes a polyamorous relationship involving his then-boyfriend, the boyfriend’s wife, and her girlfriend. In his time writing a sex advice column, Zane came to believe that most men “do not have a healthy relationship with sex at all” and are “continuously failing to navigate their sexuality, masculinity, and romantic relationships.” These pointed perspectives stem from stories shared with him as well as his own vast carnal experiences as a liberated, “sexually shameless” man boasting over 2,000 sexual encounters. Zane seeks to dispel preconceived notions about bisexuality and alleviate the pervasiveness of sex-negative shame and stigma, but the author's more serious notes on sexual liberation sometimes get lost amid chapters detailing his rampant promiscuity. The book works best when enjoyed as a chronicle of Zane’s unapologetically salacious history and the lessons he’s learned. His emphatic discourses on erotic liberation, the misunderstood bisexual community, and overcoming sexual shame are credible and noteworthy, but they are often overshadowed.
A provocative, uneven confessional from a self-avowed “slutty antihero.
