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To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?: Revenge Poetry for Babies and Toddlers
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Q: How do you breed contempt?
A: Have a baby.
Hey. It’s me. Your baby. Let me say, first off, that I love you. I do. You’re a great parent. You do a lot of things right. I know how devoted you are to me and how invested you are in hitting this whole parenting thing out of the playground. Okay. Now that I’ve given you the validation I know you need, let’s get a few things clear . . .
I’m not as innocent as you think I am. You don’t realize it because you’re blinded by my sweet good looks, bu...
A: Have a baby.
Hey. It’s me. Your baby. Let me say, first off, that I love you. I do. You’re a great parent. You do a lot of things right. I know how devoted you are to me and how invested you are in hitting this whole parenting thing out of the playground. Okay. Now that I’ve given you the validation I know you need, let’s get a few things clear . . .
I’m not as innocent as you think I am. You don’t realize it because you’re blinded by my sweet good looks, bu...