Turn back the clocks! Your sweet child has morphed into a teen. And it's no longer just a messy bedroom or an attitude with a capital "A" causing concern. There's a whole new range of issues on the horizon. What if your daughter texts a naked picture to a "boyfriend"...which he then forwards to the entire class? What if your son becomes increasingly withdrawn...Or your child is being bullied online? Would you know what to do? You could read a whole book on teen psychology--but who has the time! As a parent, what you need most is quick and candid advice for dealing with the issue at hand. After all, if you say the right thing you will open up the lines of communication, but say the wrong thing...and WATCH OUT. A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is the solution. Covering a broad range of issues from the terrifying (sex, drinking, drugs, depression) to the frustrating (defiance, laziness, conformity, entitlement), parenting expert Joani Geltman approaches each of the 80 topics with honesty and a dash of humor. Want to understand why teens do what they do? Joani reveals what they are thinking and feeling--and what developmental factors are involved. She then explains how to approach each problem in a way that lets your kid know you "get it" and leads to truly productive conversations. From lying to sexting to falling grades, the teenage years can be an uphill battle. Here is the no-nonsense guide you need to get your teen talking, listening, and back on track.
|Product dimensions:||5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)|
|Age Range:||18 Years|
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Help! I’m sick and tired of fighting with my teen about getting out of bed every morning!
Help! That attitude has to go! I’ve taken away the cellphone, the computer, and the Xbox, but he doesn’t seem to care what he loses. He’s still rude!
Help! My teen is on Facebook 24/7. Can’t she just read a book for a change?
Help! I just picked up my teen’s cellphone and OMG I can’t believe what I read! a get messages like these all the time from desperate parents anxious for answers to the daily hassles they experience with their teens. Which is why I wrote this book. When you’re in a crisis with your teen—whether it’s a blowup between the two of you that got out of control; school, homework, and grades that have become a daily battle of wills; or frustration over your teen’s cellphone addiction, Facebook use, or video games—you don’t have the luxury of reading a tome on teen development. When you need help, you need help now! A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is your 911 call. It’s the “Hints from Heloise” of parenting books. You read what you need, when you need it.
This book contains 80 entries, grouped by categories ranging from keeping your teen motivated in school, to dealing with teen “attitude,” to understanding your own parenting style, to social networking, to the classic teen triumvirate of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Each freestanding entry begins with a “Here’s the Problem” section, which lays out a specific issue from your point of view.
The next section, “Why It’s a Problem,” explains what your teen was thinking . . . or not thinking. It provides you with an objective, “take your own emotions out of it for a minute” framework that offers you a perspective other than your own and can make all the difference when you’re headlong into a crisis. Much of your interaction with your teen may feel very personal, but often it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Nonetheless, when your teen pushes your buttons, it becomes all about you, which is the reason it’s important to take a step back and understand the “why” of it all.
Finally, each entry ends with a “Here’s the Solution” section that gives you a strategy. I tell you what to do, explain how to do it, and give you some ideas as to what to say to resolve the situation.
You can start anywhere. Whatever page you turn to, you now know exactly what you’ll find in that entry: Here’s what my teen’s doing, here’s why my teen’s doing it, and here’s what I can do to make it better. Ahhhh, you sigh, I think I can handle this!
Table of Contents
Foreword by Ari Graynor
PART ONE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Raising a Teen
1 Deflection and Denial: Your Teen’s Main Defense Mechanisms
2 My Teenage Clone: The Power of Conformity
3 Getting Your Teen Up in the Morning: Strategies for Eliminating the Daily Fight from the Morning Routine
4 You Can’t Always Get What You Want: The Demanding and Entitled Teen
5 Too Much Time on Their Hands: The Busier the Teen, the More Motivated
6 The Power of Puberty: Changing Body, Changing Brain
7 L Is for Lazy: Getting Your Teens to Do What You Want Them to Do
8 Trust vs. Temptation: How to Help a Sneaky Teen
9 Lies of Omission: “Oh. I Didn’t Think I Had to Tell You That”
10 Why Don’t Boys Talk? A Different Kind of Silent Treatment
11 My Kid the Quitter: Why Won’t My Teen Stick with Anything?
12 The Parent-Teen Power Struggle: You Can’t Make Me
13 Helping Your Teen with Remembering: You Forgot Your __________ Again?
14 Teen Self-Absorption: My Teen the Narcissist
15 My Teen the Pit Bull: Never Takes No for an Answer
16 The Teen Who Talks Back: The Kid’s Got Attitude
17 The Messy Room: To Clean or Not to Clean
PART TWO Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Keeping My Teen Motivated and Engaged in School
18 Why Can’t My Teen Do Better? How to Assess Achievement
19 Studying and Learning vs. Texting and Facebook: Strategies for Time Management
20 The Plight of the Homework Avoider: It’s Not Just Laziness
21 The Drama of Exams: A Strategy for Success
22 The Report Card: A Call to Action
23 Summer Reading: Thank You Teachers, for Ruining My Last Few Weeks of Summer
PART THREE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Navigating the College Process
24 Senioritis-Parentitis: Surviving the Application Process and Tips for Successful College Visits
25 Eenie, Meenie, Miney Mo, to Which College Should I Go? A Roadmap for Decision Making
26 What to Expect from Your High School Graduating Senior: Letting Go
27 What to Expect from Your College Students When They Return Home
PART FOUR Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Helping My Teen Avoid the Friendship Traps
28 The Bully Pulpit: Strategies to Ward Off a Bully
29 Loyalty in Teens Can Be Harmful to Their Health: Penn State, a Case Study
30 The Agony of a Ninth-Grade Boy: What It Feels Like to Be the Youngest Boy in the School
31 Teens Who Feel Left Out: “Why Don’t They Ever Call Me?”
32 The Bad Seed Friend: What to Do About the Friend You Wish Your Teen Didn’t Have
PART FIVE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Drinking and Drugs
33 Getting to Know Your Teen’s Drinking Personality: What Motivates Your Teen to Drink or Do Drugs?
34 Keeping Your Teens Safe If or When They Choose to Drink: A Successful Strategy
35 The Consequences of Teens Drinking in Your Home: It’s Always Your Responsibility to Keep Teens Safe
36 What Happens When Teens Are Left Unsupervised: A Room-for-Improvement Parenting Story
37 A Chilling Drinking Story: Alcohol and Date Rape
38 Dope, Weed, Pot, Grass, Cannabis, Marijuana, Hemp: They All Spell Trouble
39 Teen-Proofing Your Home for Alcohol and Drug Safety: Looking at Your Home Through a New Lens
40 Party Planning with Your Teen: Commonsense Rules
PART SIX Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Understanding and Dealing with My Teen’s Sex Life
41 Talking to Your Teen About Sex
42 Boy Wants Sex, Girl Likes Boy: Helping Your Daughter Say No
43 Spin the Bottle and Other Sexual Situations: Strategies for Good Decision Making
44 Keeping Your Teen Dressing Like a Teen: Sexy and the Teenage Girl
45 Finding Your Teen Between the Sheets: Love in the Afternoon
46 Is Your Teen Gay/Lesbian? Discussions on Sexuality
PART SEVEN Just Tell Me What to Do About . . .Online and Phone Sexting
47 The Consequences of Sexting: A “Weinergate” Moment
48 A Teenage Girl’s Painful Lesson: A Private Photo Goes Public
49 Sexual Harassment: Sending Sexy Photos Is Not Always a Choice
50 Skyping, Sexting, and Exotic Dancing: The Allure of a Live Audience
51 The Legal Consequences of Sexting: My Son, the Sex Offender
PART EIGHT Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Cellphones and Smartphones
52 Cellphone/Smartphone Monitoring: Should I or Shouldn’t I?
53 Dealing with Your Teen’s Cellphone Addiction
54 Does My Teen Text Too Much? If So What Can I Do About It?
55 Driving Distracted: Don’t Let Their Fingers Do the Talking When They’re Driving
56 Teens Losing Sleep: Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Texting
57 Should I Buy My Teen a Smartphone?
58 A Scary Story: The Misuse of Smartphones
PART NINE Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . Social Networking Sites and Applications
59 Teaching Your Teen Safe Posting: The Too-Much-Information Dilemma
60 A “Friending” Intervention: Teaching Your Teen How to “Make Friends” on Social Networking Sites
61 To Give or Not to Give: My Parents, My Passwords
62 Facebook + Alcohol Posts = Problem Drinkers
63 Icky New Social Networking Sites . . . Beware!
64 Facebook Posts That Could Put Your Teen in Jail: Threats That Are Taken Seriously
65 Social Networking and the Stolen Identity: Keeping Your Teens Safe from Other Teens
66 I’ll Give You My Password If You Give Me Yours: Going Steady in the 21st Century
67 Cleaning Up Facebook and Twitter Posts: Preparing Your Teen for the Real World of Jobs and College
68 Online Bullying: Being Made Fun Of Can Really Hurt
PART TEN Just Tell Me What to Do About . . . My Parenting Style
69 Four Ways of Fighting: A Roadmap for Effective Arguing
70 Puh-leez . . . No Lecture
71 Playing the Game of Curfew: “Please Can I? Everybody Else Is” 3
72 Ask Less, Get More: Stop the Interrogation
73 Too Much Love Can Be a Bad Thing: Holding Your Teen Accountable
74 Too Much, Too Soon: Understanding Age-Appropriate Privileges
75 “So What, Who Cares?” Making Consequences Mean Something
76 Teaching Your Teen About Money Management: Curbing the Teen Money Pit
77 I Just Don’t Fit into This Family Anymore: Helping Your Teen to Feel Connected
78 Successful Rule Making: Sharing the Control
79 Good Cop–Bad Cop: A Parenting Dilemma
80 Finding the Bliss with Your Teen: Treasuring the Time
About the Author