After the Luau: (when the laughter dies down)

The year started as any good new year would: climbing onto the roof of a McDonald's, tooting our party horns at the passersby below as they got arrested for public drunkenness, and cleverly avoiding our own arrest by giving false names to the rental security boys who came up to the roof to see who was causing the cacophony.

The following morning, my husband went to our home and I went back to the vacation rental I'd been living in for the preceding two months.

I didn't want to get divorce...