An Irishman's Difficulties with the Dutch Language

Next morning after breakfast-which by the bye came up all right, without any special effort on my part-, remembering that I needed pens and ink I determined to go out and buy them myself. { Have you pens? { Give me pens, please. { Thank you. That is all I seemed to require. Have you? Well; that is not so simple as it looks. I consulted the Grammar and was appalled to see the amazing variety of choice afforded to any one in Holland who contemplated asking this innocent question.