Bed and Breakfast and Murder

Bed and Breakfast and Murder

by Patti Larsen

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A Poo Poo Kind of Morning

I tried not to look down the mouth of hell staring back at me from inside the glaringly pristine outer ceramic shell of the white throne, my throat catching, stomach doing half flips and a rather impressive rollover routine that would have gotten at least a 9.5 even from the Russian judges. Instead, I forced myself to smile and swallow and remind myself the elbow length yellow rubber gloves grasping the handle of the standard issue plunger were all that stood between me and Pooageddon.

Suck it up, Fee. Big girl panties and adulting and all that.

“At what point,” I waved the dripping plunger, wincing as droplets of yuck flew, “did I think owning a bed and breakfast was going to be glamorous and romantic?”

Fiona Fleming hasn’t lived in Reading, Vermont in over a decade, her escape from small town living leading her to New York City and a life of adventure. An adventure that has left her with no career, an ex who cheated on her and zero plans for the future. Her grandmother’s death grants her a new chance—inheriting Petunia’s, Iris Fleming’s bed and breakfast, seems like the ideal fresh start. But when Fee finds out ownership of the property Iris willed her might be in question, she’s drawn into the seedy underbelly of the cutest town in America after being singled out as the main suspect in a murder.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940153991542
Publisher: Patti Larsen
Publication date: 01/29/2017
Series: Fiona Fleming Cozy Mysteries
Sold by: Smashwords
Format: NOOK Book
Sales rank: 1,304
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

About me, huh? Well, my official bio reads like this: Patti Larsen is an award-winning middle grade and young adult author with a passion for the paranormal. But that sounds so freaking formal, doesn’t it? I’m a storyteller who hears teenager’s voices so loud I have to write them down. I love the idea of sports even though sports hate me. I’ve dabbled in everything from improv theater to film making and writing TV shows, singing in an all girl band to running my own hair salon. But always, always, writing books calls me home. I’ve had my sights set on world literary domination for a while now. Which means getting my books out there, to you, my darling readers. It’s the coolest thing ever, this job of mine, being able to tell stories I love, only to see them all shiny and happy in your hands… thank you for reading. As for the rest of it, I’m short (permanent), slightly round (changeable) and blonde (for ever and ever). I love to talk one on one about the deepest topics and can’t seem to stop seeing the big picture. I happily live on Prince Edward Island, Canada, home to Anne of Green Gables and the most beautiful red beaches in the world, with my very patient husband and four massive cats.

Customer Reviews

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Bed and Breakfast and Murder 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 104 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The author must really be a man, because no woman would make the main character in this mystery story so stupid and incompetent. As the father of two daughters, I have become acquainted with many of their friends, some of whom are not very smart, but neither my girls nor any of their friends or acquaintances is as unable to function as our hero. Our star is very, very, very curious and yet she takes the word of a visitor that he now owns her home and business. He hands her an envelope, but she doesn't open it and read the contents. She is incapable of dealing with an attractive male and like her not very bright classmate she vomits out any thought. I quit reading at page 65 and you owe your readers and all of woman kind a serious apology. Allen Farkas
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Although the idea behind this little mystery was, in the end, fair at most, it was the writing that put me off and tempted me several times to just chuck this book and say "The heck with it!". It is sad when the reader has to reword the sentances in their own mind to make them sensible. And how many times must she write about the dog farting?...the sound of the farts,...the smell,...the length of time the farts lasted! We don't care! And for the record, the first paragraph or two of the whole story are supposed to grab the reader's attention and make the reader want to continue on. This was one of the worst openers I have ever read! The in detail desription of cleaning a stopped up toilet!??? I was going to give this three stars, just because I actually finished the book as a congratulations to me, but after a second, I decided that you all need to know that this book is not worth your time. M.Cunningham in WV
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
My kind of, fast paced, characters that quickly feel like friends, and a great plot. Thank you for a fun and entertaining read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Well written story.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Cute, fun cozy mystery with a nice, unexpected twist at the end.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Too many descriptions . Mystery ok..
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I had a tough time deciding between three or four stars for this review. I may yet change it to three, but I doubt it. To me three stars means I could have taken or left the book but, in this case, I actually want to continue reading about Fiona and Petunia. I enjoyed the characters, the story line, and the lighthearted atmosphere. However, it still has lots of problems and a few inconsistencies. There are a number of spots where the author could use better editing, preferably by someone who understands the use of grammar - tense, in particular - and phrasing. Early in the story she says the pug had rolled over and went to sleep. No, the pug had rolled over and *had gone* to sleep. That sort of problem occurs throughout the entire work. There is also a problem with run-on sentences that take two or three reads to clearly convey what is being said. Lastly - a personal pet peeve - someone needed to actually read through this *after* using word processing software to edit it. Every work should always have a final human read-through. In this case, Fiona opines that she doesn't care if [character] is ever *persecuted* when the writer clearly meant *prosecuted*. Editing software often makes those kinds of errors. My other gripe is about the story itself and one major inconsistency. Fiona is a police officer's daughter, she's lived in New York City, has been around people who engage in illegal activities and says she's watched some police procedural shows. She's super curious, but she's not very suspicious and she's easily surprised. There were so many plot points that surprised her, but I knew exactly what was coming. It makes the character less believable and frankly, makes her seem a little stupid or, at best, naive. This is completely at odds with everything else we're given to understand about the character. It's annoying. But - despite the flaws, the writing makes it pretty easy to suspend disbelief and to let the story carry you along - and that's a huge compliment to the author's story-telling ability. Like I said, I am actually interested in reading more of this character and this author. I think, with some polishing and more thought, she could become an excellent writer, eventually worthy of five stars.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A fun read with twists and turns - all with a surprise ending! I downliaded this as a freebie, but now want to continue the series. Love the book Patti! ~jc
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
An easy entertaining read!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love it when I am completely surpriesed by who the oiller turns out to be!
Anonymous 9 days ago
While looking for a new series on murder mysteries, I stumbled upon this little gem. A strong female character, a certified whodunit mystery, and a perfect twist in the plot, this book was definitely enjoyable and so worth reading. Can't wait to read more of this series and to look at more by this author.
Anonymous 3 months ago
The plot was good. The bad grammar and bad punctuation was very distracting though.
Anonymous 4 months ago
Hate starting the day with a body in the Koi pond. And then it heads down hill.
Anonymous 4 months ago
Very light and fun reading
Anonymous 5 months ago
Anonymous 5 months ago
Great read! Light and funny but with a hint of mystery
Anonymous 7 months ago
Anonymous 7 months ago
Now I have to get book 3. I didn’t want to put it down
Anonymous 11 months ago
Interesting characters, fun story with all the elements of a good murder mystery. Love the twists and turns that kept me reading straight though!
Anonymous 12 months ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I would not reccomend this book it is stupid and it has bad words i only read the first page i would like to give this book a 0 but i have to rate it
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great mystery and very entertaining reading! Keeps you guessing right up to the end! Loved it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Enjoyed very much. Cannot wait for the next book in the series. Loved Fee!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book