Being Mean: A Memoir of Sexual Abuse and Survival

Being Mean: A Memoir of Sexual Abuse and Survival

by Patricia Eagle


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In this richly depicted story, told in vignettes relative to markers of age and experience, Patricia Eagle reveals the heartbreak and destruction of her sexual abuse, from age four to thirteen, by her father. A victim of her father’s anger and her mother’s complacency with his abusive behavior, Eagle uses dissociation and numbing in response to the abuse, and as a way to block her own sense of self.

How does a child confused by episodes of abuse come to know what is safe or unsafe, right or wrong, normal or abnormal? How does a young woman learn the difference between real love and a desire for sexual pleasure stimulated by abusive childhood sexual experiences? Careening through life, Eagle wonders how to trust others and, most importantly, herself. As a mature woman struggling to understand and live with her past, she remains earnest in her pursuit of clarity, compassion, and trust to build a stronger life.

Being Mean is about blocking sexual abuse memories, having them surface, then learning how to acknowledge and live with incomprehensible experiences in the healthiest ways possible.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781631525193
Publisher: She Writes Press
Publication date: 06/11/2019
Pages: 376
Sales rank: 948,397
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Patricia Eagle discovered language with her first word, “bird,” and later found great solace in nature. Six decades of journaling also served as a life buoy—tangible evidence of a life explored in earnest while being tossed by the confounding experiences of childhood sexual abuse. Her experience as a high school teacher informed her master’s research on the use of “professional reflective journaling,” a method to help educators better understand themselves and their students. A story gatherer, Eagle maintains an unyielding commitment to excavating and acknowledging what is resilient about her life and the lives of others, as an author and a Life-Cycle Celebrant®. She has seven stories published in four anthologies and online with the National Home Funeral Alliance. She lives amidst mountains and hot springs in the San Luis Valley in south central Colorado, where she watches the Milky Way splash across the night skies. Being Mean is her first book.

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