Bite Me

Bite Me

by Christopher Moore

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Overview

“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.”

—Carl Hiaasen

 

The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining  his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780061986161
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 03/23/2010
Series: Bloodsucking Fiends Series , #3
Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 352
Sales rank: 291,060
File size: 340 KB

About the Author

Christopher Moore is the author of the novels Secondhand Souls, Sacré Bleu, A Dirty Job, and Lamb. He lives in San Francisco, California.

Hometown:

Hawaii and San Francisco, California

Date of Birth:

August 5, 1958

Place of Birth:

Toledo, Ohio

Customer Reviews

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Bite Me 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 311 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a brilliant finale to Christopher Moore's hilarious vampire trilogy. Warning: do not read this somewhere you must remain quiet. I laughed out loud with every ridiculous twist and turn. I just love Moore's witty writing and laugh-out-loud humor.
harstan More than 1 year ago
The streets of San Francisco are not safe as a predatory vampire prowls them looking for prey. No one is safe from this feline. Perhaps the only humans who might end the biting cat's reign of terror are goth Abby Normal and her brilliant boyfriend, Stephen "Foo Dog" Wong although others like the Animals of Marina Safeway and the Emperor of San Francisco hunt the beast. Abby and Stephen visit her Masters, vampire couple Jody and Tommy to obtain their help and guidance. The pair owes Abby for keeping them together when she made them immortal with her rendition of The Kiss starring the vamps as the couple. As they work to stop the sharp toothed cat, the team runs into three visiting ancient vamps with teeth to grind, the other hunters and SFPD homicide detectives Rivera and Cavuto who want all of them off the streets of San Francisco so the cops can solve the case. This is a wild biting satire that takes no prisoners as a vampire cat wrecks havoc on the City by the bay. The story line is amusing and fast-paced but also contains too many cat lives that diverse from the prime plot of hunting the hunter who hunts those hunting it. Fans of the Normal acerbic paranormal tales (see After You Suck) will laugh out loud at Bite Me" A Love Story. Harriet Klausner
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I find the story really funny. It had me laughing so much. GREAT!!!
WinyDaPu More than 1 year ago
Christopher Moore has a great sense of humor. I find him to be a little dark and sarcastic. I find this book laugh out loud funny.
Heather Turner More than 1 year ago
I loved blood sucking fiends. Then I loved you suck. But I LOVE Bite me. Best one yet.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Christopher Moore is a genious. He blends horror with extreme laughter and the characters are so well written you cheer for them, cry for them, laugh at them and feel as if you know them.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am a huge fan of Christopher Moore however this book is not good. I didn't even finish it. I couldn't stand how almost the whole thing was seen through Abbey's P.O.V. She is annoying and it's just too hard to read.
chelsibear More than 1 year ago
Christopher Moore is my all time favorite author, next to Dr. Seuss. He is hilarious, witty, and says f*cking France. What moore (like the play or words?) can a girl want? (fine accident i left there realizing the play on words) I bought "Bite Me" since I've loved everything by Moore so far. I liked "You Suck" the least out of his library until I read "Bite Me". How is it a love story anymore when no ones in love? The problem, in my opinion, is that You Suck and Bite Me were demanded by fans. Because of that it wasn't what HE wanted to write which made it lesser then the predecessors. You suck still made me laugh the whole book through. Bite me however only had one scene where someone was saved because a cat humped a human, well vampire. Anyways this is not a book to buy, to read once from the library. However, still buy it because Christopher Moore is so fantastic that he should get more money and more control over his books. He deserves it. However, I would tell you to read any other book by him before this one, but what can I say? I'm a groupie. I will buy anything by this man to support his money but I cannot sit here and say this book is the best. By the way, I hate vampire stuff, but Bloodsucking Fiends, it didn't matter.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Really good book. Will read again for sure. I love all of Christopher Moore's stuff. He is a talented writer and very entertaining.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you liked the move Zombieland, you will like this book. It is a different take on the vampire life, and will keep you laughing. I honestly picked this book up because it had such a unique looking cover. I was drawn into the story, and could not put it down until I had finished reading it. There was one draw back, I found out while I was reading this, that it was actually the third in this series. On the other hand this book, held up well in my opinion on its own. This is a book you could read without the others, but if you do read the other books it will increase the background of the book. If you are having a bad day this is the book to lift your spirts, and get you laughing again.
TheAuthorChick More than 1 year ago
When I picked up Moore's You Suck two years ago, I had no idea what kind of hilarity I was getting myself into. It became one of my favorite books of all time, and, when I found out about Bite Me, I was completely and utterly on the edge of my seat waiting for it. After devouring all 309 pages in the matter of two days, I found myself...rather disappointed. Abby annoyed the hell out of me, there wasn't nearly enough Animal action, and the ending was rather saddening. However, there are some very funny and very sweet moments that make it another Moore classic. So, I liked most of the book, up until around the end. AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF ABBY AND TOMMY END UP TOGETHER, I WILL MURDER SOMETHING SMALL AND CUTE.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The first 2 books were great and I'm looking forward to this one. The only problem is the price. The ebook version on Amazon is only 9.99 while the B&N version is over 16 bucks. That is ridiculous.
bookymouse on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
It rocked my stripey socks! Read it, the stripey socks reference will become clear. :)
mountie9 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The Good StuffThe dialogue is so hilarious and outrageous, you won't be able to stop yourself from laughing out loudVampire Cat -- enough said. I'm thinking Mr Moore is a dog loverLoved the names of the charactersVery unusual storyCan I say once again the dialogue is frickin awesome, sort of reminds me of an episode of my beloved Buffy the Vampire SlayerThe Not so Good StuffI think this might have gotten a higher rating if I had read the other books in the series firstThe passages written by Abby Normal are difficult to read from a 40 yr old women's perspective, it was like she was speaking some foreign tongueHonestly, I think this one would appeal to be more in an audio-book formatStoryline jumps around a lot and their are way too many POV'sI really wanted to like this one more, but I kept putting it down because I was irritated and confused -- however, the dialogue at times kept me wanting to finish it (That and I am way too stubborn to give a book a DNF)Favorite Quotes/Passages"Sometimes it's best to turn the tables and start asking questions when your argument sucks ass.""Resistance is futile," said Clint in a robot voice."I thought you were Christian," said Cavuto."What, I can't love Jesus and Star Trek?""I should have been born in Wuthering Heights times. Although if I was Cathy, I would have hunted down that Heathcliff guy and beat him with a riding crop like a sado-hooker with his Black Card on file. Just sayin'." What I LearnedMust read the whole synopsis before agreeing to review a book - than I might have noticed it was part of a seriesWho should/shouldn't readThis will be more appreciated by the younger set (and I mean those over 19 but younger than me)Fans of quirky novels will enjoyWill be interested in what Natasha thinks of itNot for the prudish btw3 Dewey's (Will review again after I have read the first 2 books)I received this from HarperCollins in exchange for an honest review (Sorry guys will get my hands on a copy of the 1st 2 books in the series so I can give a more indepth review)
Ramplo on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
SPOILER (without details) Loved the whole book RIGHT TILL THE END...then it went downhill. I'm all for twists but the end of this book just made me feel like I had spent all my time getting invested in this series for it to all be thrown out and to start back at page one. It was still very entertaining though.
kraaivrouw on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
It is impossible for me to turn aside a book about an enormous vampire cat stalking San Francisco, turning other kitties into vampires, turning rats and mice into vampires, and all of them chowing down on the homeless population. Add into the mix Abby Normal, Foo Dog, Jared, and the Animals - hapless teenagers serving as the wayward minions of two vampire lovers - and one sad samurai in orange knickerbockers and I'm all set. The homeless guy and former owner of said cat with the sign that reads: I'M HOMELESS. MY CAT IS HUGE. - that's bonus.I will admit that after the first few pages of this book I stopped and flipped through to make sure that I wasn't going to have read teen speak throughout the entire book - amusing though it was for a few pages I didn't think I could take it for hundreds. Fortunately that is interspersed with other kinds of language, much of it so funny that I ended up reading portions aloud to my husband and we both laughed until we cried, rolling around on the bed giggling with our cat looking at us like we were out of our minds.I haven't read the other two books, but I will (and this was great fun even without them). Funny, well-written, and so spot on about the Bay Area that I recognized various characters immediately from my daily BART rides. I couldn't help but think of the Tales of the City series by Armistead Maupin, not because the subject matter is similar, but because both sets of books capture something essential about the Bay Area of their individual times. Read this book!
Jenners26 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
2 words that describe the book: Vampire comedy3 settings where it took place or characters you met:* Setting: Modern Day San Francisco* Abby Normal, my favorite Goth pixie with a gutter mouth, an attitude and a keen desire to become Nosferatu--a wish that is finally granted with unexpected consequences (like a rat tail). Her hilarious diary entries give this book its sass and hilarity. Her foul-mouthed Valley Girl text language and outsized ego totally made this book for me.* Lord Flood and the Countess (aka Tommy and Jody), who were the primary subjects of the first two books, Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck. Although their roles are somewhat reduced as Abby takes center stage, it was fun to see my favorite vampires again ... along with other familiar characters like the Animals (now experienced vampire fighters after being vampires themselves), Detectives Riviera and Cavuto, and The Emperor and his "men." I loved how Moore brings back Chet, the giant shaved cat who was accidentally turned into a vampire in You Suck, who becomes the creator of an army of vampire cats that terrorize San Francisco.4 Things you liked and/or disliked about it:* I liked how Moore has fun with vampires. From introducing a new set of "old"vampires who have come to clean up Elijah Ben Sapir's mess (one of them is named Bella; I refuse to believe this was accidental on Moore's part) to a foul-mouthed, ass-kicking Chinese grandmother who arms the Animals with Super Soakers filled with a vampire cat killing herb concoction to a sword-fighting old man who nurses a burnt Jody back to life, Moore just romps around having fun like a kid in toy store.* I liked how Moore wrote from the point of view of the Emperor's dogs (Lazarus and Bummer) and Martin (the cadaver dog who helps Riviera and Cavuto but is a bit confused by the smell of the "undead"). These views into the dog mindset were hilarious, especially when Martin grows increasingly peeved by the lack of biscuits being given to him.* I liked how fast-paced this book was ... it just flew by, which brings me to the one thing I disliked about the book.* I disliked that this is the last book in Moore's vampire trilogy. (But maybe he had so much fun writing this that he'll revisit these characters just one last time. One can hope.)5 Stars or less for your rating?I'm giving the book 4 stars. I'm a huge fan of Christopher Moore, and this series of books was terrific fun. If you like your vampire books filled with attitude, irreverence and laugh-out-loud moments, this is the series for you.
katelisim on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
4 StarsThis is the third story in Christopher Moore's comedic vampire series. From Abby's point of view, a perky high school goth minion of the vampires Jody and Tommy (who are complete vamp noobs). After bronzing Jody and Tommy so they wouldn't split up, Abby and her boyfriend Foo set up in Jody and Tommy's loft, nick named the love lair. All is going smooth since all the vampires are gone until they figure out Chet, a huge cat, had been turned vamp by Elijah and is now running around San Francisco making a horde of kitty vamps. Then they start to eat all the homeless people and the hookers. Things get out of control, so all the players of the last books are brought in to help stop Chet, who is getting bigger by the day.Hilarious like the first two. You don't need to read them in order, as there is a mini sum-up at the beginnings. Official order of the books = [Bloodsucking Fiends], [You Suck], [Bite Me]. I read them 2, 1, 3. Order of liking is 2, 3, 1-- although the margins are very slim.
gsmattingly on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
At times it was a struggle getting through it. The last few chapters were better and more interesting but I can't say that this was a marvelous read. Just an okay read.
takieya on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A proper review to follow, but for now - I loved the book. I felt that it was a fitting end to the series, and I'm looking forward to hearing what the author guy himself has to say about it.
shellyquade on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A funny, entertaining, wild ride, this book is one that you should read."Bite Me: A Love Story" is the third book in a series. While the other books in the series, "Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story" and "You Suck: A Love Story" are both very good reads, as well, it is not necessary to read them before embarking on the journey that "Bite Me" presents.One of the great things about "Bite Me" is the synopsis. It gives the necessary recap in a hilarious narrative voice that helps prepare the reader for the rest of the narrative, while making the reader laugh out loud at the same time.Everything about this novel works well - the plot moves along at a racing rate, managing to be suspenseful and unpredictable, the characters are fascinating and fun.You should read it.
ElizaJane on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Reason for Reading: Next in the series and I read every new book Moore publishes.Summary: The first sentence pretty much covers the plot: " The City of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public."Comments: Christopher Moore manages to bring back everybody (that isn't really dead) from the previous books, adding a new character, and inserting a couple of characters from previous books for extra measure. Abby, Foo Dog and Jared have much bigger parts this time around leaving some of my favourite characters from the previous books with much lesser page time. The Animals don't even go turkey bowling once! That said the story is hugely comical with plenty of typical Moore laugh out loud moments. I love all the characters in this series and really enjoyed the Emperor and the two cops having bigger roles in this book. As to Jody and Tommy, I won't say much but I will say the ending is surprising and I didn't like it very much as someone who really cares about these characters. One thing I love about Moore's books is that he manages to reward his constant readers by bringing in past characters for cameos and this time Lily the Goth girl from A Dirty Job shows up and there is a certain white Rastaman Kona who pilots a ship who has got to be Rastaman Kona from Fluke (especially with the "Bite Me" connection). I love his character! In all, a whole lot of insane hilarity with vampyre cats, an old samurai Japanese guy, and the usual main crowd of eccentric characters. A definite read for Moore fans. If you haven't read the other books in the series I suggest you start at the beginning with Bloodsucking Fiends for the most enjoyment.
KApplebaum on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A Dirty Job and You Suck were better, but I still couldn't go to bed until I finished the book.
andsoitgoes on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
At first I found the narration by Abby Normal so annoying that I almost didn't finish the book. Which would have been a tragedy for me since I love Christopher Moore's books and was eagerly awaiting the last in this trilogy. Once it got into the other characters it got great and I couldn't put it down. Sorry to see the end of this series but it was fun and so Moore! Excitingly Mr. Moore was in my area last week and my sister got a signed copy of this for me for my birthday! The inscription reads "Happy Birthday Nancy! Christopher Moore". Wow!
reenum on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The first two books of this trilogy gripped the reader from the get go. This one doesn't.I gave it a shot. But between the tiresome recounting of what happened in "You Suck" and the annoying vocal mannerisms of Abby Normal, I couldn't finish.