Caught: In Denial, In the Act, and In the Arms of a Loving God: A Story of a Marriage Lost and a Marriage Redeemed

by John Iobst, Robbie Iobst

Overview

Caught is a he said/she said story of a marriage destroyed by sex addiction and rescued by God. It is written in 3 parts: Caught in Denial, Caught in the Act and Caught in the Arms of a Loving God. Giving hope to struggling spouses Caught offers 10 holy and practical habits to improve any marriage.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781630479732
Publisher:	Morgan James Publishing
Publication date:	01/10/2017
Series:	Morgan James Faith Series
Pages:	232
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

John and Robbie Lobst have been married for 20 years. John is a registered psychotherapist and a Biblical Counselor. Together, Robbie and John are professional marriage coaches. Robbie has written 2 books, a devotional titled Joy Dance and a Colorado Independent Publishers Award winning novel, Cecilia Jackson’s Last Chance. The Lobsts both speak and Robbie is a weekly contributor to two radio shows, the Good News with Angie Austin and Daybreak USA. John and Robbie have 3 daughters, 1 son, 4 grandgirls and 2 dogs.

Read an Excerpt

Pornography is a parasite, because it steals your emotions, your focus, your time, your energy away from your spouse. I mean, it’s really demonic, if you want to get down to it. Pornography is trying to meet a legitimate need in an illegitimate way. When you go down that path, you are not fulfilling each other as God intends for husband and wife and vice-versa, and it starts to degrade your marriage.—Alex Kendrick, co-writer of movie, Fireproof 13

Robbie:

On a Wednesday night in February, John was at computer night school when I needed to check my email. We lived in a tiny cottage with a little room attached that we made into the office.

Our boy Noah was four years old at the time so I took him outside and he played with his Stuart Little remote control car on the basketball court as I sat in the office, door open, checking email. It wouldn’t work. I am not a computer gal so I decided to just get on John’s email and see if I could reach mine through his. It sounded logical at the time.

When I logged onto John’s internet I clicked on history, thinking I would see my email address and get on that way. What I saw were a couple of shocking addresses.

“Noah.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

“I want you to see if you can make Stuart go around in circles for 10 whole seconds. Count out loud for me, okay?”

Eager for a game my boy said, “Okay,” and the game was on.

“One!”

I prayed. “Lord, guide me. Guide me.”

“Two!”

I clicked on the first address. It was a picture God never intended to be taken.

“Three!”

I clicked back.

“Four!”

I clicked on the second one. My heart pounded.

“Five!”

Tears welled up.

“Six!”

I clicked back.

“Seven!”

I turned off the internet.

“Eight!”

I prayed again. “What do I do, God? What do I do?”

“Nine!”

The Spirit was heavy on me. I felt completely calm. It was time for me to take a stand. Shaming John into change never worked. For some reason, and I don’t know exactly why, I made a decision to leave John. This thought had crossed my mind many times when we were arguing about pornography, but I never acted on it. Fear of losing my marriage and fear of people finding out that we were not perfect stood in my way. But on this night, my desperation trumped my fear. I could not and I would not raise Noah in a house where pornography lived. My reason to leave was not about me or my worth. I would develop that later. I left because I knew I had to protect Noah.

God told me to call Theresa.

“Ten!”

Table of Contents

Foreword xi

Acknowledgements xiv

Introduction xvii

Section 1 Caught in Denial 1

Chapter 1 Happily Ever After? 3

Chapter 2 Fairy Tale Wounds 17

Chapter 3 The Rules of Denial 17

Chapter 4 The Cold War in our Home 21

Section 2 Caught in the Act 27

Chapter 5 The Monster in the Corner 29

Chapter 6 The List 38

Chapter 7 The First Two Lessons 44

Chapter 8 Visions Through Dreams 52

Chapter 9 Furniture Moving Day 58

Chapter 10 Get Out of my Way 62

Chapter 11 Of Course I Feel that Way 67

Chapter 12 These Three Things 72

Chapter 13 Laughter and the Beach 78

Section 3 Caught in the Arms of a Loving God 87

Chapter 14 Is There Hope? 89

Chapter 15 Die to Yourself that Your Marriage Might Live 93

Chapter 16 Habit #1 - Handle Your Marriage with Prayer 103

Chapter 17 Habit #2 - Own Your Role-Go First! 111

Chapter 18 Habit #3 - Launch True Intimacy by Practicing Confession 119

Chapter 19 Habit #4 - You Build Trust through Forgiveness 127

Chapter 20 Habit #5 - Honor Your Spouse with Your Words 139

Chapter 21 Habit #6 - Accept Responsibility and Fight Fair 148

Chapter 22 Habit #7 - Break the Need for Control 156

Chapter 23 Habit #8 - Ignite the Individuality in Your Spouse 167

Chapter 24 Habit #9 - Team up for God's Purposes 177

Chapter 25 Habit #10 - Sow Laughter and Reap Joy! 185

Chapter 26 The Redemption of a Marriage 192

Bonus Your Free Caught Workbook Is Waiting for You 199

Caught - Next Steps 200

About the Authors 203

Resources 204

Bibliography 206