Co-parenting Through Separation and Divorce: Putting Your Children First

by Jann Blackstone, David Hill

Overview

Parents going through separation or divorce are understandably worried about how the change in the family will affect their children. This guide walks parents through all the factors they should consider and offers step-by-step guidance on how to work together to put their children first. From sharing the news with children in an age-appropriate way to handling the issue of custody, from concerns about affairs or abuse to embarking on remarriage and blending families, Co-Parenting Through Separation and Divorce offers a roadmap through one of life’s most difficult challenges with the goal of healthy, happy kids informing every decision along the way.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781610023801
Publisher:	American Academy of Pediatrics
Publication date:	06/16/2020
Edition description:	None
Pages:	300
Sales rank:	650,364
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 9.10(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Jann Blackstone, PsyD, is a retired child custody mediator for the Superior Court of California and the founder of Bonus Families. She is the author of six books on divorce, remarriage, and co-parenting and a nationally syndicated weekly newspaper column, “Ex-etiquette.” She currently resides in Phoenix, AZ, and has four children: two biological, two bonus. David L. Hill, MD, FAAP, is a pediatric hospitalist at Goldsboro Pediatrics in North Carolina and an adjunct Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine. He is the author of Dad to Dad: Parenting Like a Pro and associate medical editor of Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5. He lives in Wilmington, NC with his wife and has three children and two stepchildren.

Table of Contents

About This Book xi

Acknowledgments xiii

Introduction xv

How to Use This Book 1

Chapter 1 Will I Get Through This? 3

Chapter 2 How Do I Begin? 17

Chapter 3 What Do Children Need to Be Healthy? 41

Chapter 4 Helping Our Children Cope 61

Chapter 5 Facing the Transition: Moving From We to Me 85

Chapter 6 Co-parenting Our Children 115

Chapter 7 Parenting Plans 149

Chapter 8 Toxic Stress and Its Effect on Our Children 161

Chapter 9 Is My Child Safe Over There? 177

Chapter 10 Is There Someone New? 193

Chapter 11 The Making of a Family 209

Chapter 12 Visualize Your Future 237

Index 253

Editorial Reviews

04/20/2020

Child custody mediator Blackstone and pediatrician Hill discuss the challenges of, and solutions for, parenting while going through divorce in this well-organized, informative guide. The authors—who share their own tales of divorce (not from each other) in the introduction—cover a great deal of material, including securing legal and therapeutic support, working out custody arrangements and childcare schedules, and remarrying and forming new families. The book uses two major themes, “putting your child first” and “transition and development” for both parent and child, to frame challenges big and small, from addressing the basic question of “how do we tell the kids?” (with advice for talking to different ages) to practical questions—for instance, when the split results in kids being moved to a new house, helping them adjust to an unfamiliar bedroom. They stress a positive, proactive attitude with their chapter titles (“How Do I Begin?”) and sampling of inspirational quotes, provide examples with anonymous testimonies from Blackstone’s patients, and sensitively address tough topics, such as divorces involving abusive partners. This uplifting, info-crammed book will be a useful road map for parents in navigating the path to a divorce that is minimally disruptive for their kids. (June)

Publishers Weekly

"Child custody mediator Blackstone and pediatrician Hill discuss the challenges of, and solutions for, parenting while going through divorce in this well-organized, informative guide. The authors—who share their own tales of divorce (not from each other) in the introduction—cover a great deal of material, including securing legal and therapeutic support, working out custody arrangements and childcare schedules, and remarrying and forming new families. The book uses two major themes, “putting your child first” and “transition and development” for both parent and child, to frame challenges big and small, from addressing the basic question of “how do we tell the kids?” (with advice for talking to different ages) to practical questions—for instance, when the split results in kids being moved to a new house, helping them adjust to an unfamiliar bedroom. They stress a positive, proactive attitude with their chapter titles (“How Do I Begin?”) and sampling of inspirational quotes, provide examples with anonymous testimonies from Blackstone’s patients, and sensitively address tough topics, such as divorces involving abusive partners. This uplifting, info-crammed book will be a useful road map for parents in navigating the path to a divorce that is minimally disruptive for their kids." —Publishers Weekly


"A direct and practical guide that talks parents through the complexities of caring for their children as families come apart, and helps them find new ways to do the best possible job as parents, going forward." —Perri Klass, MD, FAAP, author of Quirky Kids: Understanding and Supporting Your Child With Developmental Differences; professor of journalism and pediatrics, New York University


“Two experts draw on their professional and personal experiences in this wise, comprehensive, and essential guide for divorced parents. Do yourself and your children a favor and keep this book handy. You will return to it often for its immensely practical advice and spot-on tips for parents from the beginning of separation through remarriage and beyond. Solid gold!” —Dr. Richard A. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing; past clinical professor of psychiatry, University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center


"This book is a must-read for any parent going through separation and divorce. The authors provide real-world examples giving concrete, useful advice to parents that is based on their years of professional experience." —Lauren Rosen Crosby, MD, FAAP, pediatric and adolescent medicine, Beverly Hills, CA; TV news medical expert


"I think this book should be a court-ordered read for all separating families." —Sheila Ballin, Esq, family law facilitator, director of family court services, and family law manager, San Joaquin County Superior Court (retired); former adjunct family law professor, Humphreys College School of Law


"At last! A resource for parents who have split up and restructured their families, written by 2 phenomenally insightful experts able to bring expertise from the worlds of law, medicine, and mental health. This book is insightful, actionable, and frankly invaluable." —Cara Natterson, MD, FAAP, pediatrician, consultant, and author of Decoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons

From the Publisher