Whoever teaches you how to be a parent? You do the best you can. You give your kids everything they need everything they want, everything you didn’t have. Why, because you love them.
I had a perfect family, a wonderful wife, loving kids. Sometimes things aren’t as they appear. Little did I know before long I would have to completely re-learn everything I had ever known about love and family?
I’d always thought putting my kids first was the best way I could show how much I loved them. Now I know true love for my kids’ means I had to put myself first and teach them their actions are theirs, not mine, and the consequences of their actions are also theirs.
The best gift that I could give my kids was to teach them to function happily and responsibly on their own in the world. This is the story of how I learned what it really means to let go and be able to say to your kids, “Everything I do, I do to help you become the best people you can be, because I love you”.
The best gift I hope to give you, the reader, is to make available the many villages that you may need to visit during your never ending parenting journey. On that path you will come to accept as I did, that Pain is Inevitable but it’s the Suffering that is optional ………
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About the Author
Dennis Poncher was born in Chicago, Illinois, at the age of 4 he moved to Southern California with his older brother, mom and dad where he completed his education including two tears of college before entering the US Army where he honorably served for 2 years.
After his completion in the military Dennis married his childhood sweetheart Joyce Goldstein and within two years, moved to their dream home in the San Fernando Valley where they began raising a family, daughter Lesli Renee, and son Ian David.
Dennis jumped around in a few businesses including pharmacies, wig business and finally purchasing dress shops in the south bay area. It was during the 7 years of owning his own dress shops that his wife’s health began to deteriate due to childhood Diabetes.
Joyce lost her battle with Diabetes and passed away two days after her 41st birthday leaving Dennis with two out of control teens. Thirteen-year-old Ian was expelled from school for using and selling drugs while his 16-year-old sister announced at her mother’s funeral that she was 2 months pregnant.
After exhausting all resources including therapy and a local parent group, Dennis opened ”Because I Love You” (BILY) in March of 1982 with just 8 parents in his living room.
Since that time, BILY has blossomed to 14 states and over 600, 000 parents and youth have gone through his programs. He also authored a book that parents obtain in the meetings as well as creating a weekend family encounter that he runs yearly, called Open Your Heart-Communication Camp.
Dennis worked for many years in the catering supply business and then went into real estate that he is currently into. Most of Dennis’ spare time is not just in running meetings, but also answering hot line calls day and night and hundreds of e mails weekly. It is his long-term goal to see BILY groups in every community across our nation…..
Dennis has received many commendations from the City of Los Angeles, the Board of Education, the California Legislature Assembly, the Senate of the State of California, the Governor of the State of California and the then President of The United States, Ronald Reagan.