Twilight. True Blood. Dracula. Vampires are hotter than the sun they don’t walk in, and why? Because they have the only two things we humans all want.
Eternal life. Eternal thinness.
Yet when it comes to style, vampires might as well stake themselves. Sure, their books sell millions and their movies pack them in, but too many are still dressing like the Count from Sesame Street. That’s why undead fashionista Scarlett Stoker has created a style guide for vampires (we’re looking at you Bella Swan), because the moment has come for the undead to abandon the clichés and embrace the runway.
In this hilarious A-Z guide, Scarlett will teach vampires
•Why they need to ditch those boring capes and corsets in favor of Dior, Calvin Klein and Marc Jacobs
•How jewelry is a vampire’s best friend when hiding those pesky after dinner bloodstains
•Why Martha Stewart should be the role model of every undead housewife.
A wise human once said that good clothes open all doors. And if you are a vampire, beyond those doors are a lot of necks. The devil wears Prada because it works for him. Shouldn’t Dracula and his minions do their jobs in Dior?
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
What a romp! I could see this as an off-Broadway one-person show (with maybe a cross-dressing vampire?). I loved it! It is fashion for the vampire told very tongue-in-cheek. I laughed out loud as I read it. This fashionable vampire was talking straight to me. Just a delightful read to be enjoyed. I received a copy from the author in exchange for a fair and honest review.
This book is LOL funny! I found it to be a quick and enjoyable read. Fashion advice for vampires—who knew there was a market for that? This is an A-Z guide for vampires—whether old or new—on fashion with all of the dos and don’ts. I loved reading it. Not only do you get to find out how many real celebrities are actually vampires, but the author puts in some great bits of humor. For instance, in the section about accessories he states that you need a big enough handbag that can hold body parts should the need to feed arises. You are even provided with a list of clothes that everyone should have tin their closet. This is a fin read and if you want some light-hearted humor (and none of that Twilight junk) you need to read this book. It’s short, so you can easily finish it in an afternoon.
Rating 4.5 out of 5 Dracula in Dior is a very amusing and entertaining book. It's also a rather quick read so it's not going to take long to get a good laugh. The book is written by a vampire and is all the fashion advice that she has gathered through the ages she's been alive - well undead. She gives advice on what to wear, what not to wear, and all the accessories, makeup etc that will not only make a vampire chic and classy but also able to fit in with humans and be therefore better able to get some meals. She even delves into what they should watch and read, and what topics are perfect to talk about when surrounded by humans. It was hard to stop reading once I had started because it was so cleverly written. It was definitely entertaining to read about fashion sense from a the viewpoint of a vampire. I'd definitely recommend the book to any vampire lovers who want a quick, fun read. Just be ready for some laughs.
¿¿¿¿Dracula in Dior: The Ultimate Fashion Guide for the Undead and Those Who Wish to Be by Scarlett Stoker I won this R2R through LibraryThing's Members Giveaway in exchange for my honest review. This is a funny book. It's told by a fashionista vampire. It is a How-To fit into society as a vamp. While people know they exist, that does not mean they like them. Some will take every opportunity they get to make them extinct. So blending in is a must. Hmmm, vamps shouldn't wear leather. That's interesting, since they all do, but when has a fighter ever taken fashion advice. It would truly be funny to see a bunch of vamps running around in a bunch of flowery, rainbow colored clothes. They don't want to seem any darker than they are. I can just see it now, some of my favorite characters. Can you imagine Xhex running around in pinks and yellows, that's funny. And what the hell are humans thinking? Stop wearing all them damn animal prints. Vamps be warned, she will stake you herself if she catches you in animal print. I found the people she listed to be vamps in hiding hilarious. Sure explains a lot, lol. I knew there was something different about them. Thanks to the author for letting me in on this little secret. Good to know.
After reading Scarlett Stoker's, Dracula in Dior: The Ultimate A-Z Fashion Guide for the Undead and Those Who Wish To Be, I will never look at vampires or vampire movies the same way again. A tongue (or fang) in cheek guide to vampires on everything from `must-have' fashions to the appropriate perfume for the undead, this book is hilarious. It starts slow, and maintains that pace for all of a page, and then it kicks into overdrive, but in a Mercedes-Benz kind of way, not like a monster truck. You find yourself speeding along at triple digit miles per hour without even realizing that someone's smashed the gas pedal to the floor. I seriously doubt that Scarlett Stoker is the author's real name - how weird would that be? - but, whoever she is, she's a comic talent to be reckoned with. This was, so far, my favorite read of the year, and if I could, I'd give it six stars - but, I'm limited to five.